My Heart of the Matter

The Lent Conversion

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Basilica of St. Paul Outside the Walls, Rome

This week we celebrate the second Sunday of Lent. I have kept my abstinence, and am truly amazed by this wonderful accomplishment. This is what I consider a conversion, a great change to train the mind and spirit into submission.

We all have a pass; my direction in life led me in a path of wonderment. Desiring to become a radical feminist in the late 60’s and early 70’s has helped me in understanding what my real purpose in life is and how to redirect my passion. I was like the Apostle Paul. I left the Catholic Church for a season, and became a born-again Christian. I was hell-bent on converting all Catholics to come to the right side of God. All I knew was that I was on fire for God, I was hungry for more and more knowledge. In my quest to find answers, I decided to re-enroll in college. I wanted a Christian-based college, and my radio was always tuned in to a Christian station. Biola University was announcing a special  BS (Bachelor of Science) to be completed in two years, providing you already had an AA. If I had been Catholic at the time, Biola would have never accepted my application; so in hindsight this was part of God’s plan for my growth. The classes I took opened my already curious mind to the Word of God. Classes like eschatology and hermeneutics were my favorite.

Saul

After his conversion Saul’s Hebrew name was changed to Paul. Saul was a highly educated Pharisee, taught by the best, Rabbi Gamaliel. Saul, hated all Christians, and what they represented. Saul wanted to put an end to all this Christian nonsense once and for all. He was prepared to kill, if necessary, to stop this fast-spreading Jesus movement. I wanted to convert anyone who crossed my path. I was like Saul, using God as a tool to bring others to the faith. My conversion was not as dramatic as Saul’s, but I definitely was going through a conversion. I was so naive and awkward in my deliverance, that at times I came across as a “Jesus Freak.” That did not bother me because my obstinance had not yet been revealed. It was a long, lonely road in which I alienated honest-to-goodness friends because they were not ready for all the Jesus rhetoric. My insistent Bible beating over their heads did not help either. I was too cool to hang out with any anyone who was not like me (more on that later). I created my own rapture, getting caught up in holiness, and I was not going to leave anyone behind. Saul and I rode on the same horse into Damascus. When Saul was knocked off his horse, he heard the voice of Jesus. When I was knocked off my horse, I knew that God had called me back into the Catholic Church.

Acts 9:3-5 New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE)

3 On his journey, as he was nearing Damascus, a light from the sky suddenly flashed around him. 4 He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” 5 He said, “Who are you, sir?” The reply came, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.

Paul

Paul was born to Jewish parents. His father possessed a much sought after Roman citizenship, which by birth gave Paul the same privileges. He, like his father, was a Pharisee; he was intelligent beyond his years, understood the Old Testament and lived by its rules. Though he was born six years after Jesus, they never crossed paths. Paul was very aware of Jesus and was threatened by the beliefs that would contest his training. All his education, his background as a Pharisee, and his Roman citizenship all would play an important role for his ministry. Paul was a tentmaker by trade. With Roman soldiers having to serve for 20 years and traveling from Rome throughout all Asia Minor, tents had to be readily available. Paul could travel with a few necessary tools and use his trade to help him finance his missionary trips.

The Apostle Paul was beheaded in Rome. At the site of his martyrdom a church was built, St. Paul at the Three Fountains or San Paolo alle Tre Fontane (Italian). When Paul was decapitated, his head bounced three times; at place where his head landed springs of water appeared, hence, the name three fountains.

Philippians 3:4-6 New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE)

4 although I myself have grounds for confidence even in the flesh. If anyone else thinks he can be confident in flesh, all the more can I. 5 Circumcised on the eighth day, of the race of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrew parentage, in observance of the law a Pharisee,6 in zeal I persecuted the church, in righteousness based on the law I was blameless.

In everything that we experience, God is training us to do our ministry. While at Biola University, I learned to love the Word of God. I have such great appreciation and respect for my fellow Protestant Christian brothers and sisters that serve God in this capacity. But God called me back into the Catholic Church. At first I questioned the decision, but it did not take long to fall back in love with my Catholic roots. The Eucharist was what I longed for in the desert of my journey.

Of the 27 New Testament books 14 are attributed to Paul.  Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon were all written while Paul was in prison in Rome. Through his four missionary trips, Paul spread the gospel changing the world and solidifying Jesus’ ministry.

Nancy

Nancy was a true friend that I alienated because of my first conversion. As a baby Christian, I certainly messed up things between us. I should have been there for my sweet friend when she was going through her divorce, but because she was not a Christian I cut ties with her. I will always regret this behavior and pray that she has forgiven me. Like Paul, I was an arrogant follower of God, with a Pharisaical religious spirit. This behavior had nothing to do with my new found religion; it was mostly an attitude I developed on my own. Thanks to the Lord, a good dose of humility brought me back down from the high horse I was riding on. I look back on this episode of my life as part of training on how not to behave. I still exchange Christmas cards with Nancy and pray that one day she will understand how crude and foolish my actions were toward her, and forgive me.

 

My Prayer

Dear Jesus, help us all to convert. With the guidance of Your Holy Spirit, continue to teach and direct us into the ministry we are called to. I pray for all souls who have not come to the realization of their existence. Lord, work miracles in their lives and bring them into Your sheepfold. Lord there is a total peace in knowing You, put it in the hearts of the lost to desire this peace. Lord protect us all from the coronavirus, and heal those who are suffering from the effects of this illness. Amen

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My Heart of the Matter

Fear God, Not Man

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Proverbs 9:10 New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE)

10 The beginning of wisdom is fear of the Lord,
    and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

Our stockpile is always the same

Certainly the coronavirus is something to be concerned about, but I refuse to operate in fear. I will be more cautious than usual, but this virus will not rule my life. It has become a great paradigm of who or what to believe. The most disgusting thing about this deadly virus is that it has been made into a political platform; to me these are a useless waste of words.  I am sure somewhere in the world, some renowned scientists are feverishly working on an antidote, but we will never hear or see this on the news. Instead they fill our minds with fear. This fear has an agenda: to paralyze our thinking and the way we make decisions.

Pandemic

This is a scary word; it means we will all in some way or another be affected by coronavirus. WORD ORIGIN FOR PANDEMIC from Late Latin pandēmus, from Greek pandēmos, from pan- + demos the people. Perhaps God is allowing us to experience a modern-day plague; the way I see it, we all need to trust Him.

This Sunday at Mass, right before the homily, a letter was read from Bishop Vann. The letter informed us that Orange County issued a local health emergency. Until further notice we will not use communion cups with the consecrated wine, and the holding of hands during the Our Father Prayer and the peace offering “peace be with you” have been suspended as well.  All Eucharistic ministers must sanitize their hands before and after giving communion. The letter also stated that if you are sick, you should stay home. These precautionary measures are not to be taken lightly; we all have to do our part to prevent this virus from spreading into our communities. We follow rules because they are made to protect us.

If we allow panic or fear into our spirits, we will be ruled by them.  The coronavirus has people gripped in fear, and we will all suffer the consequences because fear will spread faster than the virus. People are giving trips abroad a second thought. Traveling on a cruise may be a wonderful experience, but it turned into a trip from hell for the passengers of the Diamond Princess. Of the 3,700 passengers, 135 were diagnosed with the coronavirus, of which 25 were
American. Tourism will suffer great losses because no one wants to risk their health for the benefit of leisure travel. We need not sit at home until this virus is under control. I will continue with my normal, everyday routine of attending daily Mass, picking up my grandkids from school, running normal errands and, more importantly, washing my hands and using hand sanitizers more than ever.

South Coast Plaza Panic

On January 25th there was one reported case of the coronavirus in Orange County. That patient was isolated in a hospital and has since fully recovered. The 50-year-old man had recently returned from Wuhan, China, the epicenter for the virus. It was falsely reported that this man had visited South Coast Plaza, the most upscale mall in Orange County. This misinformation was spread through social media. This is how panic and fear take the form of misconception. Out of fear, people stopped shopping. The executives of South Coast Plaza came up with an incentive to get people back into the mall: They announced that a gift certificate valued at $500 would be rewarded to any customer spending $2,500 (before tax). The stipulation was that the  money had to be spent in one day in order to receive the gift certificate. This incentive was to lure customers back into the mall. The bait was successful; the lines to receive the gift certificate were so long that they wrapped around the concierge station and it was a long wait. But as soon as many of the customers got their gift cards, other lines formed at surrounding malls to return the merchandise that they had purchased. If the executives had waited a few days, all would have returned to normal, but they operated in fear and panic. The interesting fact about this incentive was that it was honored for more than two weeks.

Eucharistic Ministers

Eucharistic Ministers are also referred to as EM’s. Three years ago I decided to become a EM. The first day I participated in my new-found ministry I was a wreck. I could not for the life of me figure out how to give communion on the tongue. I have hit someone’s tooth, touched a person’s tongue and dropped the communion wafer on the floor, of course this did not all happen in one day.  As a novice it took time for me to get accustomed to my new position. There is this man who attends daily Mass who is over 6’5″, and I’m only 5’4″ (in shoes). I almost have to wind up for a pass to make it onto his tongue.

Whenever I have traveled abroad and attended Mass, communion is never in the hand, always on the tongue. Once I was attending a service in Notre Dame in Paris, and when I extended my hand to receive communion, a nun from the Missionaries of Charity slapped my hand and signaled for me to open my mouth. When I attended a Mass in Medjugorje, Bosnia-Herzegovina, the priest announced in English that the only way you can take communion was on the tongue. Communion in the hand has been permitted in the USA since 1977. Today the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops made it clear that we may receive communion in the hand. As a EM we understand that it is up to the discretion of the individual how each one will receive communion. As an EM we are either holding the ciborium or the cup with consecrated wine. Many times when the EM’s have wine left over, we are instructed to drink it because it is the precious blood of Jesus.

How to Prepare

If you really want to prepare for a pandemic outbreak my advice to anyone is to get right with God. We trust Him because He has control over every circumstance in the world. We are just a speck of sand in His great universe. The Lord will never leave or forsake us because He loves us and wants us whole. Prepare yourself spiritually and then you will be given the wisdom on how to prepare mentally and physically through this trial.

Isaiah 54:10 New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE)

10 Though the mountains fall away
    and the hills be shaken,
My love shall never fall away from you
    nor my covenant of peace be shaken,
    says the Lord, who has mercy on you.

My husband makes a weekly Costco run, but yesterday  he said he could not move in the store because of the crowds. Costco was out of water, toilet paper and anything that has to do with sanitizing. People are scared.

My Prayer

Dear Lord, we ask that Your holy presence be in our midst. Remove all fear from our minds and give us a peace that surpasses all understanding. Lord, You are the Great Physician and You already knew about this virus before it started to spread. Lord, we are asking that You spare us the pain of this devastating virus and bring healing to those affected. Lord, spread a blanket of protection around our world to stop this virus from spreading. We humbly ask for forgiveness of the sins of the world and petition on behalf of those who do not yet understand the power of Your love. Thank you, Lord, for unifying us with this virus because we all agree that it is a danger to us all. Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

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