Have you ever had a desire in your heart that you never believed you could attain? My friend Vicky did.

Vicky

Vicky and I met at daily Mass. One day  after Mass, she approached me and asked if I could pray for a family member; since then we have supported each other in prayer. Trusting Vicky for my personal prayer needs has been a blessing. I had no idea that Vicky was 77 years old; she looks much younger than her age. She and her husband Rick have been married for 56 years. Together they raised  seven children and have 13 grandchildren. Needless to say, she has had a busy and fulfilling life.

Vicky’s father was a high school coach who made sure that his children were fit by making them exercise. Do you remember the term calisthenics? I do, because we seniors used this word to describe working out. Vicky was a runner who ran for years, but due to  back  surgery she switched to racketball to stay fit. Vicky’s daily routine is getting up  at 4:30 a.m. She works out six days a week:  90 minutes of cardio and on other days 40 minutes of weight training. Aside from this routine she walks four miles daily. Perhaps Vicky did not realize that this entire time God was training her to walk the Camino de Santiago.

Stella

Stella and Vicky are lifelong friends. After Stella moved to Northern California they remained friends. In June Vicky received a call from Stella, who was planning to visit her in Orange. Vicky and Stella had dinner together; this is how the “camino” talk started. Stella is 71-years old and has run a marathon in every continent, including Antarctica. Stella, an attorney who recently retired from working for the District Attorney,  was ready for a new adventure. This stirred up great excitement in Vicky. Her husband Rick was quick to encourage the pilgrimage, “Vicky, you have to do this!” Vicky had seven weeks to prepare for the journey.

The Preparation

Vicky stepped up her walking to five miles a day, and  she added a 10-pound backpack to her walks. She had to get the proper gear for the  camino. At REI (a sporting and camping store)  she purchased trail runners (sneakers), hiking sandals and special socks. She took with her a pair of 25-year-old hiking pants and two- year-old sneakers as well. Rick, her husband, purchased a head lamp from Amazon. One small carry-on and the backpack were all she and Stella traveled with their carry-on to the next village. From the beginning of the trip, Vicky requested that she wanted to stay in a hotel. So they used the services of Transporte de mochilas en el Camino de Santiago to transport their carry-on to the next hotel. This service, for a small fee of six Euros, really helped them.

Day One

At the airport no one spoke English, but they needed  to take a taxi to the train station. Finally they met their first angel, a police woman who spoke perfect English who guided them to the train station. They spent their first night at their starting point, the city of Leon, Spain. They attended Mass in Leon and prayed for a good camino. The following day they purchased walking poles and started the camino. Every pilgrim needs poles to help with the walk because sometimes you come across mountainous passages or paths that only one person can traverse one at a time.

They filled their backpacks with protein bars, apples, a first aid kit, pen and notepad, and water, which was the heaviest item to carry. They also had the special book given to them at the beginning of the camino to stamp their passage.

On the camino they met people from all over the world. They met a woman from the Netherlands walking with her Dalmatian. They met a couple from Florida who where half way done with their journey. People from Japan, Australia, Norway, Africa, New Zealand and Canada, all were on their own spiritual journey. All the pilgrims  they met were friendly and cordial.

Time to Reflect

By the third day of the journey Vicky was overwhelmed with gratitude. She wanted a closer relationship with God. She reflected on her life, remembering the special graces and giftings God had given her. With emotional thanksgiving  she praised God for her solid, happy marriage, large family and her faith. At each local church Vicky and Stella lit candles and prayed for family and friends.

After attending a Mass in Triacostela, the local priest asked all the pilgrims to come up for prayer. He handed each one a prayer written in his own language, and asked them to read it aloud. The prayer was a special blessing for their safe camino.

Time to Purge

Remember the 25-year-old hiking pants and the two-year-old sneakers? Vicky decided to get rid of them. She was purging spiritually as well; her soul was being cleansed from things from her past that were holding her down. She felt a great spirit of humility as God was cleansing her every step of the way. Vicky and Stella were up at 6:30 a.m. They needed their head lamps to walk; every morning as they witnessed the gift of the sunrise that led them closer to Santiago.

The purging did not stop on the camino. When Vicky got home she cleaned out her closet and shoes, getting rid of half her wardrobe. The journey changed her.

Santiago de Compostela

Just before 10 a.m. they arrived at the cathedral. Vicky could not hold back her tears; the journey, the desire of her heart, was complete. Vicky and Stella attended the 12 p.m. Mass. I, too,  have attended Mass at Santiago de Compostela.  I remember  the sounds of the bells, the organ piercing  my heart,  the gigantic incense burner swinging across the altar and filling the cathedral with an aromatic,  sweet-smelling cloud, a sacred heavenly scent, that touched all my senses.

El Camino

El Camino de Santiago or “the Way of Saint James” is a pilgrimage to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in northwestern Spain. For most of the pilgrims it is a religious experience. Depending on the route you choose, it could take over 35 days. Vicky and Stella walked 250 miles, averaging a  pace of 15  or more miles per day. They completed  their journey in 15 days.

Saint James

Saint James really understood how to reach the double-minded and those who struggled with trusting God, but my favorite passage is on taming the tongue (James 3:1-11).

My Prayer

Dear Lord, we are all on a camino in life. I pray that it always leads to You. May we hunger and thirst for Your Word. And in our twilight years guide and strengthen us to accomplish all the plans You have for us. Amen.

My advice to seniors: you can reap the benefits of aging by keeping active and serving God.

Babysit Your Grandchildren

According to data over a 20-year period by the Berlin Aging Study, researchers discovered that grandparents who babysat had a 37% lower mortality rate than those of the same age who did not. They lived an average of five years longer than those who did not babysit. Since 2003 I have had the privilege of babysitting our grandchildren. The dread of hearing,  “Do you want to play Candyland?” or “Can you color with me?” These questions were part of our daily activity. Watching television shows like Dora the Explorer and Jessie was my life. Playing the part of Jaws, I  swam in the pool with my grandkids and when I caught them, I’d gently bite them. We raced laps in the pool until they blew me out of the water. They were getting stronger, while I was getting weaker.

The Fall

One day, came when I was chasing after my grandkids on skate boards, I took a terrible fall. After that fall I realized that chasing anything was out of  my league.  I was pretty shaken up from the incident and thought a neurological problem caused the fall. I made an appointment with a neurologist who wanted to put me on some medication that might alter my emotional state of mind. No thank you! My mind is already highly stimulated by my real thoughts; putting something like that into my body would only add to the overload. After switching neurologists I was diagnosed with tremors, so I am now taking a mild medication to alleviate the problem.

Exercise

During COVID I got back into a workout routine; walking became my saving grace. I’ve always exercised but it was never a constant. So instead of 10,000 steps a day on the FitBit, I’ve increased it to 12,000. Being a lifelong member of the “exercise hating club,” I’d self-talk my way into working out. It took a while for this to become a habit. Mike, for as long as I’ve known him has always worked out regularly, he rarely misses a day.

If I can stay healthy it lessens the burden on others to care for me. I want to be independent as long as God allows.

Stay Focused On God

When doing godly deeds, He makes time for all of our personal needs. Nothing is put off because you are given special, supernatural graces and energy to finish all your daily tasks. The only difference is that at the end of the day, because of my age, I tire more easily.

I want nothing more than to please God, but every single day I fall short. God knows my shortcomings and the struggles I have in life; this is the main reason I attend daily Mass. It honestly gives me a clean slate. Prayer is a major part of my life but I, like many, get caught up with Social Media. It’s shameful to admit but this is one of my worst vices.

Pray For Others

Part of the calling that the Lord has given me is praying for others. My list is long but throughout the day, the faces of those I pray for flash before me. Or if I’m out and about and see someone who resembles  a person on my list, I say a quick prayer for that person. God is consistently reminding me to pray.

Don’t Let Old Age Restrict Your Decisions

When my mother was in her early eighties she needed a new refrigerator. She was hesitant to purchase the appliance because she felt that she would not get much use of it because she was too old. My siblings and I talked her into buying a new one. As she got older she was hesitant to purchase bananas because she thought they would ripen too soon.

We recently invested in a new dishwasher and the realization of the possibility that this could be the last time we purchase one was surreal. We are definitely preparing to make our life more comfortable as we get older. The thought of death at the door may be something others worry about, but we place our trust in the Lord.

Trust God

Trusting God for everything in my life may sound odd but it does wonders. The Lord has supplied every need in every area of our lives. Whenever I have doubts and slip into a state of unbelief, I resort to a simple “Hail Mary” prayer to bring me back to reality. Many times, because of my impatience, God is teaching me to rely on and trust Him. Impatience has caused me heartache by making hasty decisions and regretting the choices I have made. Obviously patience is a virtue that I struggle with.

Article 7 The Virtues (from the Catechism of the Catholic Church)

THE VIRTUES

1803 “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”⁶² A virtue is an habitual and firm disposition to do the good. It allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself. the virtuous person tends toward the good with all his sensory and spiritual powers; he pursues the good and chooses it in concrete actions.

The goal of a virtuous life is to become like God.⁶³

This past weekend Mike and I went on a short trip with our best friends. We met with another couple, and we all shared a wonderful time together. Between the three couples we have 146 years of marriage.

Mike and I will be celebrating our 53rd wedding anniversary in January. Our marriage, like all marriages, has endured storms. We made it through all the choppy waters because we understood that everything in life passes through a period of testing,  It’s how we choose to move forward that makes all the difference. Using the metaphor of weather, and how it changes, is a perfect way to describe a marriage. We know that all storms pass through, some are much more destructive than others. I believe that most marriages that are going through troubled waters can be saved.

Saving A Troubled Marriage

If you have been blessed with children, they must be a major part of healing the marriage. You cannot be selfish in a decision that affects others. Consider the consequences before making a life-changing choice. It all starts with God, and we know that He hates divorce.

I Am Sorry

These words are part of my vocabulary. Even when I know that I am right about a situation and there is no way to convince the other party, I apologize for the sake of peace. Believe me when I say letting go of something hurtful takes time. But if you don’t nip it in the bud,  these emotions can pile up within you until they rule over you and convince your mind that you have  been wronged. A marriage should never reach this type of tension. Forgiveness should always rule our hearts.

Forgive

Why must we always forgive? Forgiveness builds character and develops special graces in us. We can move freely to get past any transgressions brought on by others. There is power in forgiveness.

Therapy

We were not born with immediate solutions to all of our problems. Each and every day offers us another opportunity for growth. We all want the right answers, but to some the repetitive wrong reactions give the impression that you are right when in reality God is attempting to teach you a life lesson. When our children were in the teenage years I had to seek outside counsel. The therapy helped me understand that my parenting needed more assurance. Both Mike and I worked at making sure that we were doing our best in raising our children.

I also discovered through therapy that inner healing was part of God’s plan.  In order for me to become a better parent, I needed to learn to love myself. That terminology “love yourself” was unheard of in my Hispanic culture. Though it took some time, God was teaching me all along that my inadequate feelings  of  self-love were part of the problem in my parenting as well as my marriage. We all want to be blessed with a happy marriage, but it could take a lifetime of lessons to achieve.

Good Friends And Family

I only have a handful of good friends, and I cherish these relationships because they have taught me to become a better person. This last trip was wonderful because we all had a common ground of enduring marriages and we love the Lord. We all have grown children and grandchildren and love to share photos and stories of our families.

We met in Nashville to celebrate the opening of Larry and Helen’s son Jason’s restaurant. Jason and his wife Sarah, along with their three daughters, moved to the south two years ago, and they are both working hard to make their business succeed. Mr. J’s is quaint, impeccably clean and the food was wonderful!

Nashville

We were in Nashville in 2018, and I do not remember this city being so crowded with so many party people. It seemed that this is the place to go to when having a bachelorette party. With so many busy Honky Tonk bars, it was difficult to choose which one to experience the music. We finally walked into Nudies. This establishment houses three stories of millions of dollars of country music memorabilia. It also has three stages and Nashville’s longest bar, 100 feet. We stayed to enjoy a few songs; maybe now I will develop a greater appreciation of country music.

The Food

Yes, the food was great but so was the company. When we break bread with friends, the memories are more special. We all ate so much barbecue: ribs, pulled pork and tri-tip, along with all the sides. We came back home with a few extra layers wrapped around our waistlines.

Sunday

In order to avoid committing a mortal sin, I found a Catholic church not far from where we were staying. What a wonderful surprise to see so many families attending the 11 o’clock service. As we were leaving I spoke to the deacon. He shared with me that he was from Orange and attended Orange High School in my home town.

My Prayer

Dear Lord, Thank You for Godly friends. I pray that we all remain dependent on Your guidance in our lives. Help us to become better parents, grandparents and friends. As we grow older give us favor with a healthy lifestyle. Bless our marriages and keep all evil from us and our families. Amen.