Mike and I will be celebrating our 53rd wedding anniversary.
The Transition
As a young bride I lived in a world of bliss. God was secondary because I wanted freedom. In my past blogs you can read about the years I spent protesting against the war in Vietnam, along with any far Left Wing political wave that came my way. Then I got the wake-up call from God.
God First
God must always be first in a marriage. If you did not prioritize God in your marriage, there will be conflict. Then the conflict will turn into division. You draw your lines, set boundaries and somehow, without prayer, you may get through without resolving the issues. For instance, in my case, I’d quietly place these unresolved issues on a shelf as ammunition for the next battle. It took me years of maturing and mostly turning to God to soften my hardened heart. I was that person who had to explain why, how, and when I was offended. I wanted remorse, but instead God taught me to forgive.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is an essential tool God has bestowed on us. I’m an extroverted, unorganized, strong-willed person. I married an introvert with a Type A personality. In other words, if we played in an orchestra I’d blow the trumpet while Mike would play the violin. God knew what he was doing when he brought us together because, in an extraordinary manner, we balance each other. Forgiveness is one of the most important elements in a marriage.
It does not matter how deep the offense may be, if there is love there is always room to forgive. Of the many times Jesus spoke on forgiveness the verse that stands out the most is from Matthew 18:21-22:
Matthew 18:21-22 New American Bible (Revised Edition)
21 Then Peter approaching asked him, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.
You should never lie or keep secrets from your spouse. Remember, God always exposes the truth. When the truth is exposed you have two choices: continue in the sin or ask for forgiveness. That is why God gave us a free will. If you are not truly sorry, you will fall back into the sin.
Don’t air your dirty laundry, especially on Social Media. Some things you can never take back. Social Media should be used to edify, not to tear down.
Larry and Helen, our best man and matron of honor
Godly Friends
As a couple we only have a handful, of good friends. We surround ourselves with people who are like us, who inspire and encourage us. A good friend will always want the best for you and will never give you wrong counsel. You can’t trust someone who is not aligned with your godly beliefs. Be careful who you trust with the delicate matters of your life. You may not realize it but some friends may be jealous of your relationship and offer you the wrong advice.
Proverbs 18:24 New American Bible (Revised Edition)
24 There are friends who bring ruin, but there are true friends more loyal than a brother.
When I was a young mother I had Christy, the most wonderful friend. She was our pastor’s wife (in my born-again days). She, along with her husband Bill, had children our age. I thought our friendship would last forever. When we moved from the San Fernando Valley to Orange County, I was suddenly friendless.
I prayed and prayed for good friends, then God brought us Larry and Helen. Of course we had other friends, but they were our first friends who were a married couple. Mike and Larry go to breakfast on a regular basis, and Helen and I exercise together twice a week. Our relationship is grounded in God, and our conversations are always wholesome. Mike has golfing buddies, and I have church friends.
My two sisters, Jo and Norma, are many times my rock; I know I can depend on them for prayer. My friend Cindy and I attended high school together, and we have remained friends through the years. She prays for me, and I reciprocate. Even though my Friend Susanna moved out of state, she is also one of my prayer warriors. All of my trusted relationships are rooted in Christ.
For Better Or Worse
I knew from our first Christmas that Mike was a keeper because he showered me with so many special gifts. These were-well thought out gifts: a beautiful dress, a nice pair of block-heeled shoes and perfume. To this day Mike continues to give from his benevolent heart to all of us. He never holds anything back when it comes to our grandchildren. They know that Papa will drive miles for that special something they’ve requested.
When Sonja was in second grade, Cabbage Patch dolls were all the rage. Guess who stood in line at Toys R Us to make sure his little girl got her doll? If Mikos wanted a certain baseball card, Mike made sure he purchased it for him.
When I got home from the hospital with COVID, Mike made all of my meals. He did everything to make me feel comfortable. When he is under the weather, I do the same for him. We are a team; through all our trials we will remain steadfast because God is by our side.
Our Blessed Marriage
Mike and I renewed our wedding vows through the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony on January 22, 2022, at our parish St. Norbert. If you read “The Long Overdo Wedding” from a previous Blog, I thought we celebrated the Sacrament of Marriage when we renewed our wedding vows in Rome at the Papal Basilica of St. Paul Outside the Walls. Our friend, Father Pat Hussey, officiated, but there was no paper trail to validate our original nuptials. When this was brought to my attention by Father Leonard Mary, I knew I had to fix it. Despite the fact that the world was still suffering from COVID, we planned a wedding. From the invitations to the venue, to getting all of our other sacraments in order, by the grace of God we did it.
My Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that all marriages would seek Your holy counsel. Comfort those who are hurting, and surround them with those who will guide them in the right direction. Bless those couples who have endured lasting marriages, because they are a beacon of hope. Lord, because Your first miracle was at the wedding in Cana, grant couples who need a miraculous healing in their marriages the grace to forgive. Amen.
