After attending Mass on Valentine’s Day, I asked our priest to bless me for a favorable visit with Mario.
The Weather
The weather forecast for that day was cold. So, while getting ready for the day, I decided to wear a Spanx undershirt. For those of you who are not familiar with Spanx, it’s a light-weight, tight-fitting undergarment. It’s meant to smooth your body. Layering was what I had in mind; besides the Spanx worked to keep me warmer. Making sure that my colors were within the required prison regulations, I wore black joggers, a gray and black light-weight sweater, with a black vest and a raincoat. Finally, I got it right! Now the jewelry: one bracelet, a watch, a necklace and earrings. Everything checked out perfectly!
The Arrival
It’s not unusual for me to arrive 30 minutes before the 11 o’clock visit. I normally sit in the car and wait for a line to form. The guards are notoriously late, and on this particular day they arrived at 11:40. The first checkpoint should start before 11 a.m.
Completely out of character, a new guard at the first checkpoint waved the security wand over me while I was wearing my raincoat. I did not have to take off my rain boots either.”Only five at a time,” blared the speaker from tower four. We were the third group to pass through the security gates.
The Underwire Bra
When Mario was at Pleasant Valley State Prison, I had driven a little under four hours to visit him. For the first time I learned about the rule of the underwire bra. I was given two choices: go to the nearest Walmart or cut the wires out of my bra. This choice was simple; I cut the underwires out of the bra.
What a joy to hear your name called first in a room of about 15 people! The second security is more scrutinized, so my shoes and raincoat were placed in a plastic container. As I passed through the security door, it triggered the metal detector. “Excuse me ma’am, can you take off your watch and bracelet?” the guard asked. Confusion and frustration set in as I nervously attempted to remove my bracelet. Neither my watch nor my bracelet had ever trigged the metal detector before. I asked the guard, “Why do I need to do this? My bracelet is really difficult to remove.” Again it set off the metal detector .
This time the guard used the security wand and asked, “Are you wearing an underwire bra?” Sure enough, I had forgotten to put on a sports bra!
To The Shed
From a long distance I could see a shed for people like me who fail to follow the rules. In reality it’s a building, but I refer to it as the shed. As I walked in, I explained that I was wearing an underwire bra. “You can purchase a sports bra for $15,” said the woman at the desk. Forty-seven dollars was all I brought, and I was not about to waste it on a sports bra. Thank God I wore the Spanx! I quickly changed and had to get in line again.
The guard had instructed me to get in the front of the line; however, the people who were at the front of the line gave me a hard time. “We’ve been waiting a long time,” said a man, and his daughter knodded her head in agreement. I got a little street with them and answered, “Look, I was already inside and was sent back to take care of a problem and was told to get in the front of the line.”
I wanted to say “end of story,” but these people are rough around the edges. Then his daughter smugly asked, “Why were you sent back?” I wanted so badly to answer, “None of your dang business!” Reading the faces in the crowd, I softly answered, “I was wearing an underwire bra.” A loud sound, “Ohhh!” could be heard throughout the parking lot. I did the same at the second checkpoint I walked ahead of everyone. By the time all the drama was over and done with, it was almost one o’clock.
Mario
Mario had been moved to another section of the facility, so it took him 10 minutes to reach the visiting area. I made the decision to move our visit indoors.
Our lunch consisted of two Santa Fe Chicken salads, an egg muffin (for me), a cheese hamburger and a Philly steak sandwich for Mario. We shared Miss Vickie’s potato chips and Doritos, two Dr. Peppers for Mario, and water for me.
The Bible Study
I randomly opened the Bible to Ezekiel 36:24-27