My Heart of the Matter

In Search Of Holiness

April 22, 2024 No Comments

We all, at one time or another, question our faith. The desire to become holier has made me aware of how tangled I have become with the things of this world. I had a short, interesting dream Sunday morning that helped me discern why.

I have mentioned in past blogs how the Lord instructs me in dreams. In this particular dream I was boarding a large, convertible bus. I yelled for one of my friends to join me, “Come on, jump on!” My friend was uncertain and said, “No, I can’t.” Again I extended my hand and repeated, “Come on, I’ll help you!” But it was too late, the bus was moving. On the bus was a prophet who was going to give me a prophetic word. As she approached me, she placed her hands over my head and said, “You are filled with faith, but you have an infection that is keeping you from getting closer to God.”

That is all I can remember about this dream. I was distressed because I knew it was a warning dream.

The Interpretation Of The Dream

I am going in the right direction with the right people, but something is holding me back. It’s my dreaded cell phone! This has become a hindrance to my spiritual growth. And this dream was a short reminder to redirect me onto the right path.

Padre Pio (Saint Pio of Pietrelcina)

I was listening to the Hallow app about Padre Pio. He was a Capuchin priest who lived in San Giovanni Rotondo. This priest exuded holiness; his Masses would last more than two hours. After Mass he heard confessions for 16 hours, with only a short break for lunch. If you were brave enough to confess your sins to this saint, you had better not leave any sin out because Padre Pio was also given the gift to discern souls. If you did not want to or forgot to mention a particular sin, he would remind you of it. This saint was given the stigmata, the five wounds of Christ. He also had the gift of bilocation.

I will never achieve even one ounce of Padre Pio’s holiness, but I do want to develop my gifts as God would will.

The Rosary

I pray the rosary with special intentions. For example, I could offer the First Decade to someone in my family who needs special prayer. On another decade I will pray for our country, etc. Needless to say, my rosary can last more than an hour. I was up early Saturday morning, but as I started to pray the rosary, I found myself completely out of the spirit, thinking of worldly matters. A strong spirit of conviction came over me, but I did not finish the rosary. I’m going to change that!

The Phone And The Computer

The phone is not my only distraction. I get distracted by looking up mindless information on the computer. Usually when this happens, things unrelated to the search pop up. All of our electronics are collecting personal information that is programmed to capture our scattered attention span. Hours later we end up in a deep rabbit hole, wondering how we got there in the first place. Besides this I suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and dyslexia!

Another distraction is online shopping. I may not purchase the items, but my cart is filled with things I can live without. Again, it’s the wasteful hours that take me away from my prayer life that plague me with guilt.

The Plan

Knowing fully well that change is a process, I’m going to start with spiritual baby steps to rid myself of the infections from the world. First I’m going to time myself on social media. I’ll start by setting an alarm for 10 minutes at a time and also keeping the phone at a distance if I’m occupied with something else. Listening to the rosary via an app will help me finish praying the five full decades. Please pray for me!

“Be content to progress in slow steps until you have legs to run and wings to fly.” Saint Padre Pio of Pietreicina

Spiritual Discipline

The Lord wants us whole. We can’t fully serve God if we have one foot steeped into the world of electronics. In everything in life there must exist a balance. We are dependent on our phones; both of my grown children know where I am 24-7. I keep tabs on them as well with the “Find My” app. These apps simplify our lives and give us a better perspective and appreciation for technology, especially if we have younger children. But God, too, has an app.

The God App

You cannot download this app because it’s supernatural. However, you can download it in your heart. God knows exactly where we are physically, emotionally and the path we are on. We need to clear away all the debris to reach holiness. The God app speaks to our conscience, but many cannot hear anymore because they have deleted it from their hearts. Some have chosen to block the God app because it’s become too intrusive. Some will keep the app but never use it, while others will gladly share the app.

Download The God App

God sees all the destruction of those who have deleted His app. They have unknowingly become slaves to the world; their god Satan prevents them from seeing the true light. It’s never too late to download the God app, because He is with you during your darkest days and wants to shed His light into your wounded heart.

My Prayer

Lord, forgive me for allowing all the worldly distractions to come between You and me. I humbly ask that You give me another opportunity to serve You as I should. Lord, teach us all to download Your app, so that we can live the life we have been called to. Father, bring us all to a greater of level of holiness. Amen.

My Heart of the Matter

The Confirmation Retreat

April 15, 2024 No Comments

“Revealed” was the title of the retreat for the catechists in 2024.

Preparing

For the past two years I’ve had the pleasure of teaching teens ranging from ages 15 through 18, preparing them for their sacred Sacrament of Confirmation. This particular class represents students from six Orange County high schools. Half of the students attend private Catholic high schools; the other half attend three different public schools.

I was blessed to have well-behaved students, but many of them were not responding to questions I presented on the subject we were reviewing. My worst experience as a teacher is to ask questions and for half of the class to stare at you blankly. I wanted them all to engage and understand what was being taught to them, so I came up with a plan.

The Plan

Throughout my missionary trips I have accumulated a variety of souvenirs, from rosaries to praying cards, so I decided to give some of my treasures to the students who participated in class by simply answering a few questions. At first this was a great idea, but they soon lost interest. Several of the students eagerly raised their hands and sometimes shouted out the answers, but the dormant students remained quiet. I knew that they could respond, but they did not want to participate.

I prayed about it and came up with an idea that would motivate the entire class. Purchasing raffle tickets and a few gift cards to Chick-fil-A and In-N-Out did the trick. The students would receive one ticket for showing up for class, and any time that they participated with the class discussions they received another ticket. With every response to a question came another ticket. By the time the class was over some students could have as many as five tickets, increasing their chances to win. I’m happy to report that even the most reserved students started to open up because of this little plan.

The Diversity

As I mentioned earlier I have an equally diverse group of students representing different cultures. This is one beautiful aspect that California has to offer: we love and accept our West Coast melting pot. It was the same for the students; they respected one another with the love of Christ. I understand that once this class is over many of these students will go their separate ways, some, however, made new friendships with common interests in music and sports. I pray they keep in touch.

The Retreat

The retreat was held at Irvine Retreat Center, which is a stone’s throw away from my home. Since Mother Nature took a sabbatical, our normally sunny California has been colder than usual. This bad- spirited weather followed us, giving us cold weather during the first part of our retreat. It was cold.

This retreat was a no-phone zone, so many of the students were complaining as soon as their parents dropped them off. For them, the time moved at a snail’s pace. After the first night the complaining did not get any better. I was concerned because this was my first overnight retreat with the students, and I wanted them to feel the presence of God. After breakfast on the second day one student asked me for the time. It was 10:30 a.m.! He walked away saying, “We have 90 more hours of this!”

Finally the sun peaked through in time for the outdoor adventures, which included a scavenger hunt, making words with their bodies, and other games to release any pent-up energy. During this segment one of my students asked me, “What is the purpose for these games? Why are we doing this?” I answered., “This is fun and plus we’re bonding.” It was evident that many of the kids were spiritually absent. But God would soon change that.

Adoration

To Catholics, Eucharistic Adoration is being in the presence of God. We guard this sacred time as oneness with our Creator. Saturday night was set aside for Adoration and confessions. One of the requirements to be confirmed is that you must go to confession before the Confirmation. We had three priests hearing confessions, including our parish priest Fr. Eliardo.

This night was similar to the Upper Room, when the fire of the Holy Spirit came down. Every doubt, including my own, was lifted. The anointed music helped usher in the Spirit of God, and the aroma from the incense filled the room. It took hours of preparation to get these busy minds to a calm state of mind. The title of the retreat was “Revealed,” and truly the Holy Spirit was revealed to all of us.

As I prayed with many of the students, I could feel the Spirit of God present in their yielded bodies. Many were brought to tears.

The Letters

After Adoration each student received a letter from their parents. Some students received several letters, including from siblings. These letters of affirmation supported and affirmed their spiritual journey. And I played a small part in directing their path to sainthood.

The Mass

On Sunday we celebrated Mass, but this time it was different for the students because they had experienced a deeper understanding of who they are in Christ. During the homliy Fr. Eliardo shared his personal, relatable story about how he questioned his Confirmation.

Behind the Scenes

Abraham, our youth director, and his assistant, Patty, must have worked endless hours to prepare this retreat. All this hard work upset the Enemy, so poor Abraham was in the ER with kidney stones the week before the start of the retreat. He pressed through (with the help of meds) and made it through the entire retreat. Thank you, Abraham, for the special accommodations for us older ladies who needed to be well rested to fulfill our roles as catechists. All of the speakers were gracious in sharing heartfelt stories about their lives. It is difficult to speak to a group of teens, let alone keep their attention. Abraham, Patty, Becca and our MC, Tanner, put on a jacket of humility to reach these kids.

My Prayer

Dear Lord, I pray for all the catechists who participated in this retreat. May the Spirit of God follow them for the rest of their lives. You “Revealed” Yourself to each of them in a special way. Grant them special graces to continue their walk. Amen

My Heart of the Matter

A Pilgrimage Of Miracles

April 8, 2024 2 Comments

In the south of France in the foothills of the Pyrenees Mountains lies the village of Lourdes, made famous by the apparitions of the Blessed Mother to 14-year-old Bernadette Soubirous.

Annually over six-million pilgrims make their way to Lourdes to experience the healing waters. Mike and I visited Lourdes for the first time about 15 years ago. Mike was on a personal mission to discover his roots in Ciriza, Spain. I wanted to visit Lourdes as well.

Ciriza, Spain

We arrived early in Pamplona and, as soon as we checked into the hotel, we inquired about hiring a private tour guide. It is never by coincidence how God arranges these encounters so this is how we first met our tour guide Maria (Tota). Tota lives in Pamplona, but she and her family own a home in the village of Ciriza, where Mike’s family originated!

Ciriza’s one main street leads directly to San Miguel Catholic Church. On our way to visit the church we noticed stone tiles adorned with cherries (cerezas in Spanish) as part of the cobble stone street. I could not help but wonder if perhaps his last name was originally Cereza, and in times past morphed into Ciriza.

With Tota’s connections, we were privileged to have the sanctuary opened for us by her good friend. The key to the San Miguel Church was ornately large; it had to be to match the humongous keyhole to open the medieval doors. As we passed through the oversized wooden doors, we were in awe of the simple, unscathed beauty of this tiny church. We walked to the second level, breathed in the holiness. and prayed for our loved ones. Visually scanning all my sight could take in, I imagined Mike’s grandfather being baptized in the old stone baptismal font. Yes, Mike’s beautiful Catholic roots were being unveiled right before our eyes.

In the village’s recreational room, casually hanging on the wall, is the Ciriza Coat of Arms, Mike took several photos with his camera, but he accidentally deleted them. Cell phones were not yet equipped with cameras, so we used hand-held cameras.

Pamplona

Once a year Pamplona host the San Fermin Festival, which features the Running of the Bulls. On the path of the Running of the Bulls is an icon of San Fermin permanently set in the old city walls. Mike’s father Miguel was an honest to goodness bullfighter.

San Fernin

Traditionally before the running starts, participants ask the saint’s protection by touching his statue. San Fermin, who was the first bishop of Pamplona, is the patron saint of Pamplona and Navarre, Spain.

Mike’s father. Miguel, was a bullfighter who wanted his son to experience the sport. As a young boy Mike would travel with his father to Spain to watch the popular bullfighting matches.

We ate wonderful paella and for several days strolled through Pamplona, where Ernest Hemingway wrote his 1926 novel “The Sun Also Rises.”

Mike's father Miguel Jorge Ciriza — Mike’s father Miguel Jorge Ciriza

Lourdes, France

We took a World War II train to France. This train, which was wider than the more modern ones creaked at every turn. We passed through the Pyrenees Mountains, countless rivers, and the Bordeaux countryside, making whistle stops in Toulouse and other quaint villages. I was agitated with Mike because he purchased a straw hat in Madrid and insisted on wearing it the entire time. Mike is a baseball cap type of guy and this new fashion was driving me crazy. He finally took the hat off and placed it on the overhang of the train for safekeeping. He was sad to discover that he left his hat on the train, but I quietly thanked the Lord for His intervention. From the train we caught a taxi to our hotel in Lourdes.

Our hotel was in the center of town. We were greeted by a friendly English woman who told us where to eat and where to purchase candles. Mike was looking around and seemed distracted. I asked, “What’s the matter with you?” With a forlorn look he answered, “This is where my mother wanted to come when she got sick.” So this trip was turning out to be a healing for Mike.

The Nightly Procession

As instructed by the English woman, we ate at Alexandra’s. The French meal did not disappoint; it was delicious. We hurried back to the hotel to purchase the candles. I was uncertain as to why we needed candles in the first place, so I asked the English lady, “What are we to do with these candles?” She threw her head back and with a sweet chuckle said, “Follow the crowd.”

It was about 9:oo p.m. when the crowd of people came from all areas of the village, walking down the hilly streets and into the main town square. To our amazement we came upon the most beautiful sight: the Basilica, Our Lady of the Rosary. This Romanesque-style cathedral is one of the largest in the world; nothing compares to its beauty.

We were awkward tourists waiting for a signal when the French Police started yelling and pushing the crowd to start moving toward the town square. People in gurneys and wheelchairs joined the rest of the group. Almost as if from heaven, everyone’s candles were lit in a few seconds. The procession started with the singing of Ave Maria. When the sound of the Blessed Mother’s name was heard, the candles were held up high simultaneously. It was a chilly October night that will always remain in my heart.

The Grotto

Mike, who had put off surgery to repair a torn meniscus until we returned from the trip, was walking with a sturdy brace to support his injury. The following day was our visit to the Grotto. As we passed a city bench Mike instructed me to wait there for him if I got out first or vice versa. It took about an hour to finally reach the end of the Grotto line, but only a few minutes to get dunked in the holy waters of Lourdes. With volunteers helping you get undressed, every stitch of clothing is removed and you’re wrapped in a sheet. Two women are assigned to assist you into the sacred pool of water. In broken English you’re asked to say your prayers. I was a nervous wreck, but remembered my intentions were for my Mother, my sister Myra and brother George; all were experiencingserious health issues.

The water was ice cold, but something very unusual happened once I got out. With the aid of other volunteers we quickly dressed. I was completely dry in just a few seconds, including my hair. The waters of Lourdes gave me a sense of spiritual cleansing with a feeling of total peace.

I passed the bench where Mike expected me to meet him and decided to go shopping for rosaries. By the time Mike finished I was filling an empty 32-ounce bottle with holy waters. He immediately announced, “You don’t expect to carry the water in my suitcase, do you?” “Nope! No problem, I’ll carry it!”

Mike’s Secret Miracle

We had been home three weeks when I accidentally discovered that Mike had experienced a miracle in Lourdes. He came home from golfing and asked for some of “that water.” I responded,”What water?” Mike said he wanted the water from Lourdes. I sharply said, “No! you did not help me carry it, and what do you need it for anyway?” He said he wanted to share it with his friend who had a bad knee. My godly response was, “I’m not wasting the water on your friends.” Then Mike shared with me that he had been completely healed of the torn meniscus. This was how I found out! I reminded Mike that he had to give glory to God for his healing, then handed him the water for his friend.

My Prayer

Lord, thank You for Mike’s healing. I pray for all who need a miracle, especially those who do not know how to pray. Lord teach them Your simple prayer: “Jesus I trust in You!” Amen.

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