Several years ago I wrote about my first heartbreak. It happened when I was in third grade and the boy who I loved was about to profess his true love for me or so I thought. I had a special Valentine card set aside for him; the words were simple, but the meaning for an eight-year-old was deep. My heart was ready for this next level of puppy love. When I look back to this chapter of my life, this little boy was nothing to write home about. Joe was a little on the portly side and his front teeth were piled on top of another. So, I can’t explain what really attracted me to him. I, on the other hand, was a sweet, shy little girl with huge brown eyes.

My First Valentine’s Day Memory 

This card exchange was about to reach a crescendo with my heart racing to open the card Joe had given me. My card for him read, “Will you be my Valentine?” but in my mind it read, “Will you one day marry me?” Joe was oblivious to my infatuation and his love for me was not reciprocated. I wanted to open Joe’s card privately so that I could take in the emotions slowly; I wanted this euphoria to last because I was high on love. When I opened his card it showed a cute kitten holding a heart that read “You are sweet.” Well that much was true, but I was still in shock about the rejection my heart felt that day . My best friend Anita, on the other hand, was gloating because in her tiny, baby-like hand was the card that really belonged to me. Joe gave Anita the “Will you be my Valentine” card! The bus ride home was the longest, most agonizing trip ever. I wanted to tell Anita to shut up and to quit smiling, I had no recourse at eight because my heart had no shield and it was broken. I never told a soul about this little trauma. What good would it do? Besides my best friend was the cause. Since this incident no one has ever broken my heart. I, on the other hand, have been the cause of a few broken hearts.

Side note: I recently looked up my old nemesis Anita on Facebook and stocked her for a few minutes; she is a retired nurse and still lives in the vicinity of our hometown Brawley. I looked up Joe as well but, due to his common last name, I lost interest after the first page of Joe’s.

The Engagement Party

On Saturday we attended our godson’s engagement party. When Larry and Helen asked us to be godparents at Marcus’ baptism, we were elated. Marcus is the youngest of their five children. We have been part of Marcus’ life from his birth, through every birthday party, high school graduation, college graduation and now we’re awaiting his wedding.

Marcus was the boy who had all the latest and greatest of toys. On his fourth birthday I decided to write a book about him. The title of the book was “The Boy Who Had Too Many Toys.” The book was a real-life situation because Marcus donated hundreds of his toys to children in Mexico. Though Marcus led a privileged life, he was always taught to remain spiritually humble. To us, he is a normal young man who impresses others because of his gentle spirit; this is something that he learned from his parents. Marcus’ family is the core of his being and this bond has kept him grounded to reality. For Marcus, family is first. Mike and I are not only his godparents, we are connected spiritually. Marcus knows that he can come to me for prayer, and he trusts that I will indeed intercede on his behalf.

Marcus and Gianna

In 2014 Marcus and Gianna met while they were still in high school. I have seen this relationship evolve and have grown to love Gianna. At first I thought it was a high school romance that would fade away, but I now understand that their union was God-ordained and has stood the test of time. We live in a time of chaos, where hook-ups are the norm. The youth of today go through so many partners, the they leave part of their souls with the last person they had an intimate relationship with. This is not the case with Marcus and Gianna, so to witness this type of relationship is refreshing.

Gianna won the hearts of Larry and Helen long ago. Gianna has the gift of servanthood and that encompasses love. Whatever this precious girl does, it’s as if she is doing it as unto the Lord. I saw a great growth in her last year as Helen was suffering through a horrible bout with COVID. Gianna, Marcus and Sarah (Helen’s daughter-in-law) were Helen’s saving grace.

Like Marcus, Gianna’s family plays a major role; her mother has done an excellent job of raising her. Gianna’s grandmother has been a great support in molding her into being the loving young lady she has become. Gianna has several of aunts and uncles who are always watching over her as well. She and Marcus will always be surrounded by family who will support them in great love.

As we were leaving the engagement party, Gianna sweetly announced that Mike and I were also her godparents. We can’t wait to celebrate their upcoming nuptials. It will be a blessed event.

The Real St. Valentine

St. Valentine of Rome is the patron saint of love, young people, and happy marriages.  St. Valentine was put in prison by the Emperor Claudius for marrying couples and professing his faith in Jesus. While he was in prison he healed a jailer’s daughter of blindness, and, on the day of his execution, he left the girl a card signed “Your Valentine.” This is the reason we exchange Valentine’s Day cards.

Anything having to do with love always stems to Christianity. We celebrate the Feast Day of St. Valentine on the 14th of February. My “Valentine” Mike  of 50 years has already filled our house with the scent of a dozen red roses.

My Prayer

Dear Lord, I pray for all marriages, that You would bless them with love. Jesus, help the youth of today to respect themselves and to remain pure. Teach them to love You first so that they, in turn, will grow to love themselves. Lord, bring the youth to serve You as never before. Amen.

One of the most complex spiritual subjects is purgatory. The word “purgatory” is not mentioned in the Bible, but there are several Bible Scriptures that guide us to believe that we must be purged of all of our sins before entering into the presence of God.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that:1031. “The Church gives the name Purgatory to this final purification of the elect, which is entirely different from the punishment of the damned. [Cf. Council of Florence (1439): DS 1304; Council of Trent (1563): DS 1820; (1547): 1580; see also Benedict XII, Benedictus Deus (1336): DS 1000.] The Church formulated her doctrine of faith on Purgatory especially at the Councils of Florence and Trent. The tradition of the Church, by reference to certain texts of Scripture, speaks of a cleansing fire. [Cf. 1 Cor 3:15; 1 Pet 1:7.] As for certain lesser faults, we must believe that, before the Final Judgment, there is a purifying fire.”

In other words, we as Catholics believe that there is a place of purification before entering heaven. We also believe that the purification process involves pain. Lastly, we believe that prayer from those on earth can assist those who are going through the purification. Those who are in purgatory will be saved but only by going through the fire of purging their sins.  Nothing unholy can enter into the Kingdom of God.

The Dreams

I had a dream about my sister Myra. I remember the dream vividly. My other sister Jo and I were getting Myra ready for her wedding. Both Jo and I were fussing over her dress to make sure that the fit was perfect. When I woke up from the dream, I did not understand its meaning.  It had been seven years since Myra had passed away and she had never been married. I journaled the dream and wondered what it meant. I prayed for the repose of Myra’s soul, but not with a lot of intensity. Purgatory was something that I did not fully understand.

In the Word of God, Jesus is referred to as the Bridegroom. In Myra’s case, I believe that the Lord gave me an insight into her spiritual crossing from purgatory into heaven. The Lord was showing me that Myra was being adorned to meet her bridegroom Jesus, and Jo and I were helping her prepare for the marriage.

The Bible speaks about when we get to heaven that our bodies will be perfect. This is another dream that I had about a dear friend’s son. Victor died a week after Myra. He suffered from pancreatic cancer. I had this dream about five years ago. The dream setting was in an auditorium with theater-type seating, I was sitting toward the back.  In the dream Victor was on stage; the odd thing about this was that he was shirtless. His body was perfectly chiseled, like someone who regularly works out. This did not fit Victor’s normal physical appearance. Michael, Victor’s brother, walked in and sat next to me. We were both in awe as we watched Victor on stage. Michael asked me, “Is that really Victor?” “Yes,” I answered. Victor was receiving some type of special reward.

Why did the Lord entrust me with this dream? I believe that Victor’s mother needed special comfort and assurance that her son was now with the Lord. As Catholics we have opportunities to offer up Masses for the repose of the souls of the dearly departed.

Mike and I are regulars at the 8:00 a.m. Mass at St. Norbert Parish. There are two young men who are also regulars: one reminds me of a friend’s son, and the other looks like a nephew of ours that passed away a few years ago. I mention these two men because I feel that I am to say a prayer for the first man and for the second man, because he resembles our nephew.  Seeing this man reminds me to pray for the repose of our nephew’s soul.

This dream is loaded with symbolism: the pie represents pie-in-the sky, one of the delicious desserts you will receive in heaven. The flowy, chiffon dress is heavenly clothing; and the blue sash is what our Blessed Mother has worn in many of her apparitions. Her dancing represents the joy of being in heaven. To me this dream means that our mother was purified and is now in the presence of God.

Mike is the most organized man in the world. He filed away our wedding certificate before I could see it. When I pulled it out of the file, it was strange to see my maiden name as my full name. It’s finally official; the Sacrament of Marriage is now in the books for us!

My nephew Torie said he saw a vision of my mother as Mikos walked me down the aisle. This was my mother’s desire, to see me get married in the church. I received this vision as a blessing from my mom. I believed she was smiling down on us.

On Sunday after the wedding, we were busy entertaining out-of-town guests, so I missed Mass. As much as I tried to justify my reason for missing Mass, I felt unfulfilled. Going to breakfast and shopping is not an acceptable reason to miss Mass. With this in my heart, I felt culpability and needed to go to confession. I always understood that missing Mass on Sunday was a mortal sin. Many would disagree with this statement, but I felt that in some way I let the Lord down. I googled “is missing Mass on Sunday a sin?” and the best answer came from an article written by Father Kenneth Doyle:

“The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that teaching clearly in No. 2181: “The Sunday Eucharist is the foundation and confirmation of all Christian practice. For this reason, the faithful are obliged to participate in the Eucharist on days of obligation, unless excused for a serious reason (for example, illness, the care of infants). Those who deliberately fail in this obligation commit a grave sin.”

As several of us were in line for confession, I told the young man who was in line after me that I was only going to take a minute. The visiting priest was kind and understanding; he quickly absolved me of my indiscretions.

Fifty Years

During the lockdown we decided to remodel our living room. This would be the third time to reupholster our couch and chairs. For the money we ended up spending we could have purchased new furniture. In life you keep what is good quality and if you take care of it, it will last a lifetime. Our marriage has gone through different phases and when our relationship needed to be renewed, we’d picked out the fabric together. For our marriage to last 50 years, it had to be Christ-centered. I am a strong-willed woman, and Mike is a stern man who is always looking to the future. I live for the day. When God brought us together it was because we needed balance.

We Walk Together

It took years of prayer for me to understand that I was not in control of Mike’s spiritual journey. It was painful to attend church alone, and my impatience got the best of me. Through growing in Christ, I finally understood that our relationship with God is personal, and God works with us individually. My immature attitude as a babe in Christ hindered Mike’s walk. When I finally got the wake-up call from God, I learned to step aside and allow the Holy Spirit to gently move in. That was not an easy task because I like to be in control.

The Makeover

I love antiques and when I first noticed that our dining room table with matching hutch had some type of wood eating weevil, I ignored it. For years I ignored it. Again, during the lockdown I noticed that the furniture was infested with bugs. The dormant weevils had taken over, and the damage had spread to all the chairs. We needed to make another decision: to invest in having the furniture treated or to get rid of it. This, too, is like a marriage with a serious problem. If you ignore the important matters in a marriage, the problem becomes out-of-control. Just like our antiques, it spreads to other pieces of furniture. Again, it was a big expense to have the furniture fumigated, but it was worth saving.

Save Your Marriage

If God can forgive a murdering adulterer like David, He can forgive you. If your marriage is infested with sin, God can repair it. It took an extra powerful fumigation agent to kill the weevils in our furniture because the problem was deep within the wood. Sin that is deep within the soul can be removed.

The Honeymoon

The honeymoon was postponed because of a medical procedure. Due to my severe case of COVID I developed a type of bacteria in my gut. When the Devil unleashed this pandemic on us, he wanted to be certain that if we survived it was going to be a battle. This upper GI procedure will give me and the doctors better insight (literally) as to what is causing the problem. This all comes with being a senior bride; therefore, my medical concerns preempted our honeymoon plans.

Mike has made all the arrangements for our stay in Santa Barbara. We have a deep connection to this city; both of our children were born there, and we still own a home about a block-and-a-half from Leadbetter Beach. I cried for weeks when we sold our first home in Santa Barbara and moved to Whittier. For years Mike would beg me to move back, but we made our roots in Orange County. I would never leave my family, and we have a lot of stability here. My church and my friends are here plus we are only20 minutes from the beach. Maybe we will retire to Santa Barbara some day.

My Prayer

Dear Lord, help us to trust in You for all of our relationships, especially our marriages. Even through the dark valleys, show us Your light to find a way. Make us better examples to help those who are lost or feel abandoned in their marriages. Amen.