The Funeral

What is a funeral?

According to Webster’s, the most trusted dictionary, a funeral is the observance held for a dead person, usually before burial or cremation.

²² And ye now therefore have sorrow; but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and no one shall take your joy from you.

We get great lessons on the deceased by the people whom they impacted. Though I did not know my cousin Peter very well, I got to know him through  the kind words of those who knew him intimately. His daughter Debbie, son John and several of his granddaughters shared beautiful memories of Peter. Then came the open mic opportunity for others to share. In the same manner of  great respect, many spoke of how Peter redirected their lives by teaching them his work ethic.

Please remind me that I do not want an open mic at my service because sometimes too many acquaintances feel that they have something important to say. This was not the case for Peter’s service; those who did speak had words  that were short and sweet.

The Lathers

My father had a great impact on the maternal side of my family. He taught my uncle Gilbert his trade of lathing; Gilbert taught my cousin Peter the same trade. Peter handed down this construction career to his two sons. Two of my brothers followed our father’s lead in the construction industry. My brother’s son, Stephen, is now running their family construction business in the Coachella Valley.

When a man understands his role as the financial head of the household, it automatically  transfers to the sons in the family. Peter’s son John spoke on how this was instilled in him. My cousin was a manly man, the type who did not put up with much.  He spoke his mind, and if you were on the receiving end, whether he was right or wrong, he stuck to his opinion.

The Great Loss

Peter and his family suffered a great loss when Peter Jr. was killed in a motorcycle accident about eight years ago.  When you lose an adult child, it changes you. You either become bitter or you accept the fact that life is not promised until you grow old.

Several cousins mentioned that Peter changed with the loss of his son. This softened his heart, and it was evident at the service. To the sweet sound of wind chimes softly filling the air, Vanessa and Angela, two of his granddaughters, spoke so lovingly of their grandfather. When Alice, Peter’s ex-wife spoke, we all knew that there was a beautiful reconciliation between them. What a testament of love to their family.

The Lopez Clan

At times it is a sacrifice to attend a funeral service. I am close to Peter’s sister Connie and her daughter Cindy, out of respect for the family, it was important that I attend. Since I am, and forever will be, the President of the Lopez Clan (an inside family antic).  I made several phone calls to inform the family of the loss.

My mother comes from a family of nine, and many of her siblings had more than five children. So to say that I have many, many cousins is an understatement.  Thanks to technology, we are closer and more informed than ever before. Needless to say I do make it a point to keep in touch with my cousins more often; it’s one of my duties as president.

I knew this was going to be a long-day adventure, and Mike had agreed to take me to the service; but when I talked to my cousin Delia, she invited me to ride with her brother Leo and her son Paul. Leo had recently purchased an older vehicle and wanted drive to El Cajon. Aside from the strangest rattling noise, the old girl held up pretty well. Twice Paul, who was the designated driver, proved how fast the car maneuvered. Thank God for seat belts!

Two More Funerals

After a short battle with cancer, my cousin Rick’s 43-year-old son Ricky passed away. We bombarded heaven for a miracle, but it was not to be. Rick is one of the cousins who I keep in contact with, and to see him and his family go through this great loss is incomprehensibly sad. There are no words of comfort to bring them any understanding at this time. I silently stand in the gap for them and continue to ask God to comfort their broken hearts. I cannot imagine the pain of their great loss.

This past Saturday, my spiritual brother and dear friend  Robert was also called home to be with the Lord. Robert was part of our Skid Row homeless outreach. He faithfully walked the mean streets of Los Angeles with me to extend a meal and prayer to those who needed love. Robert was part of our lay ministry, and for years taught Bible study classes. His ministry reached so many lost souls. He had a great impact on the lives of so many. Robert had a special gift of quoting Scripture. This came to him naturally; he was basically a talking Bible. I marvel at how he gently and powerfully ministered. I will miss you, my brother in Christ!

When people are called home, it is not only time to say good-bye but to reflect on the lives of those who we have lost. In the natural we question why God would take someone like Ricky home. He was too young, he had a life ahead of him, we say. But ultimately it is God who makes the final decision. I know that something wonderful will come of Ricky’s death.

Death affects us all in a different way. Some will experience the loss of faith, while for others it increases their faith. But it’s how we come to terms and accept that it was God’s will that we can maneuver through the darkness of the loss. If we ask God to help us through these trials, everyday our burden will become lighter.

Believing the Word of God and fully understanding that we will be together with our loved ones is part of the saving grace we share as Christians.

My Prayer

Dear Lord, comfort the hearts of all who have lost loved ones. Surround them with sweet memories and allow them to cherish their precious moments together. Amen.