Did you ever imagine a Sunday’s homily could plant such a deep seed?
The Homily
It all started with an All Souls’ Day homily, our priest ended with these words: “And if you have family members’ ashes in your closet, shame on you! You need to do the right thing and have a proper burial.” As we exited the service Mike asked me, “Where are your mother’s ashes?” My response, “I believe Norma has them, and she also has Myra’s.” “Well, we need to fix this,” Mike added. And so the journey to properly inter Mom and Myra began.
The Options for Burial
We met with a representative from Hermosa Cemetery and were given several options for the burial of our loved ones, but we decided to purchase a niche that had enough space for two urns and split the cost.
A Tribute to Myra
Fifteen years ago, we said our final goodbyes to our beloved sister Myra. Though her remains were cremated, the service we held for her was truly beautiful. Since Myra was single and without children, the responsibility for arranging her funeral fell to our mother. Despite being wheelchair-bound, she demonstrated a profound act of love by making the major decisions for Myra’s service.
Our family came together in unity as we organized the details, including selecting who would speak at Myra’s service. I remembered the moment when the service concluded, riding with my sister Norma, who securely placed Myra’s ashes in the back seat of her SUV. It was a comforting sight, knowing that our sister was entrusted with assuring Myra’s remains were treated with respect and dignity
Mother’s Tribute
Five months after Myra’s death our mother was taken from us. Again we all gathered to make the special arrangements. But this time it was at a different location. Our mother loved Mariachi music, so we arranged for a trio to play some of her favorite tunes. Later that evening we all gathered in a celebration to honor the legacy our beautiful mother left. She, too, was cremated. Again, Norma took on the responsibility of watching over her ashes.
The Journey
In early November 2025, Mike and I initiated the process to have Mom and Myra interred at Hermosa Cemetery in Colton, where our oldest brother Robert had already been laid to rest. It was important for us to be able to visit all three family members in one location.
The first task was to get all four of my siblings on board with the plan. Since Mike and I initiated this undertaking, it fell on me to set up the meetings, and to requests the proper documents. Along the way we encountered many challenges.
The Challenges
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Re-Permitting Remains:
- Required an appointment with the Vital Statistics Office in San Bernardino.
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Obtaining Death Certificates:
- Needed death certificates for both our Mom and Myra (Jo had a copy of Myra’s).
- For our mother’s death certificate, a request had to be made to Mariposa County, Arizona.
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Document Submission Requirements:
- A notarized, certified letter was necessary.
- Included copies of:
- My driver’s license;
- My birth certificate;
- Mother’s birth certificate;
- Credit card information for payment (everything has a fee).
The Setback
As the December 12th deadline from Hermosa Cemetery approached, I received a letter from Mariposa County stating that my credit card was not charged, indicating a setback in the process.
The setback: an unexpected complication involving the spelling of a name. At this point I felt defeated! Another deadline was requested, this time for January 15th.
Typo on the Death Certificate
The Vital Statistics letter indicated a name discrepancy but did not specify further. Was it my name? I had changed the spelling of “Linda” to “Lynda” in sixth grade after swapping vowels with my best friend Nancy.
After multiple attempts to reach the Vital Statistics office, I finally spoke to someone. I asked if I could guess the issue and, surprisingly, received a “yes.” It turned out that my mother’s name was misspelled on her death certificate, not mine. What a relief!
To resolve this, I needed mother’s birth certificate. Fortunately, my sister-in-law Mary had a copy of it, which was a blessing.
Overcoming Obstacles
The next day, I had to repeat the process of notarizing, certifying, and mailing the documents to the Vital Records office in Arizona. During this frustrating time, in tears I called my sister Jo, who provided emotional support and quickly sent funds to redo the paperwork.
It took another week to finally receive my mother’s death certificate. I made another appointment with the Vital Records in San Bernardino to get the final permit. From there we headed to Hermosa Cemetery to finally put this all (literally) to rest
Transporting the Ashes
When it comes to handling the cremated remains of a loved one, the Catholic Church emphasizes the importance of treating these remains with the utmost dignity and respect. This respect is rooted in the belief that the human body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and, even in death, deserves reverence (1 Cor 6:19-20). The Church teaches that cremated remains should be given a proper and sacred resting place, such as being buried in a cemetery or entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium, rather than being scattered or kept at home. This practice reflects our faith in the resurrection of the body and the promise of eternal life.
In the United States, the Postal Service is uniquely equipped to handle the sacred task of transporting cremated remains. Recognized for its reliability and care in managing such sensitive shipments, the Postal Service ensures that the remains arrive at their final resting place with the dignity they deserve. Jo, generously contributed $140 to cover the costs of shipping these remains through the Postal Service.
The Service
Jo had already made arrangements to fly in from New Orleans to attend the service. Finally the day arrived! My brother George, along with Mary, his wife, their adult children, Robert and Gina. Mike, my other brother, attended with two of his sons; Rong and Nick and grandson Michael. Our nephew Mario also attended. My family, Mikos, Sonja and Russ, were there as well. And of course Mike, who helped me every step of the way, was by my side.
Honoring Mom and Myra
We all shared endearing stories about “Ma” and Myra. Our stories were filled with memories of love and sacrifices. For instance my sister Jo made many trips with her four sons to visit our family. When she arrived from the long drive, mother sent her to bed to get much-needed rest, while she watched the boys. Jo also made arrangements for our mother to visit her in Louisiana.
Myra was a wonderful aunt and to some of her nieces and nephews she played a vital role in helping to direct their lives. To me my sister was the sweetest, selfless person, who always called out the truth. Myra set the tone for joy; her laughter was contagious.
Our mother worked early hours at the San Bernardino Valley College food service.. I remember her leaving early to catch a bus for work. She would always leave us a fresh pot of oatmeal. When our brothers were old enough to work, they helped mother meet our financial needs. I believe even now our Mother is still holding our family together. She looks down from heaven with a broad smile, knowing that we are all doing great because of her love and the manner she raised us.
My Prayer