The Yearbook

My only yearbook (my senior picture in the backdrop)

I only have one high school yearbook because my husband accidentally tossed all the others ones away, including his.

When UMAS was an innocent organization

While perusing through the yearbook, my mind went back to my youth and how I was always trying to be a goody-two-shoes. In my high school days, I never drank alcohol, smoked pot or got into any awkward situation with boys. This was a transitioning stage of my life. In my Junior year I was involved the Spanish Club and UMAS (United Mexican American Students). UMAS claimed to be for everyone, but in reality it was just for Mexican/Latino kids. UMAS later became MECHA, which was much more radical.

I was almost squeaky clean, with the exception of me being a bully to one person. I bullied a popular dark- skinned Latina girl because she did not hang out with the other Latinas, and refused to join UMAS. She was a mean girl, not for the reasons I mentioned, but her bad behavior of entitlement. I don’t really know why, but I started to call her “Oreo.”

Back when everyone’s race was falling into order, we all took our position. If you were not part of our Mexican/Latino group you were referred to as coconut (brown on the outside and white on the inside). If you were black and did not identify with those of your race, your were considered an Oreo (black on the outside and white on the inside). In an atrocious behavior, I gave this poor girl the nickname of Oreo, and I got others to do the same. I had developed thick skin, because my brothers bullied us on a daily basis. I am not trying to make an excuse for this shameful behavior, but truly I did not really understand how mean-spirited this was. I had no idea of the adverse effect this had on that girl either. Years later, while I was working at a retail store, one of that same girl’s cousins was my co-workers. The subject of high school came up and the fact that the girl (the one we called “Oreo”) was her cousin. The cousin told me that it hurt her cousin deeply. I felt so bad for what we made this girl go through, that this episode caused me to profoundly regret my actions.

I can recall that during this period, most sixteen year-olds at my school considered driving and having a car as the most important thing. I never had those desires. Only a handful of my friends had drivers license’s and fewer had cars. I can’t remember which friend had a sign on the glove box which read, “This car runs on gas, not friendship.” I always wondered about this sign, and though I enjoyed riding in the car, I never felt comfortable. My friend Cindy had the best car, as her parents bought her a VW Bug. Cindy gained great notoriety with her cute ride; she was my good friend (and still is) as she always included me in her ridesharing.

Later that year I was selected and appointed team leader of a conference representing Colton High School. This conference was held at Chaffey College. Believe me, I was shocked at being given this title, because I was on the main panel of students from other high schools in Southern California. These students were scholars, with high academic scores, I, on there other hand, was average in the world of academia. A good friend, Fred, was also representing our school, and asked me, “How did you get on the panel?” My reply was, “I have no clue.”

How I conducted my role as a panel leader was beyond me, God must have taken over, because He gave me the confidence to fulfill the role. The questions were all about the war in Viet Nam. This subject was near to my heart because my brother Mike was in the front lines fighting for our country. I, like most kids my age, opposed the war. This conference changed a lot of my thoughts, It built enough inner courage, and determination for me to get more involved with other passionate groups. I represented the youth at city council meetings and was brave enough to be talked into running for Miss Colton. I lost that competition, but gained more personal confidence. I made my rounds until I found the path that God had so long ago paved for me.

My yearbook is filled with how nice and sweet I was, and one of my friends even wrote that I should learn to drink, I never mastered that.  A young man poured out his heart, professing his love for me, but I did not reciprocate.  However, I’ll never forget those sweet words. Others wrote of my sarcasm and how I would get away with things. Sarcasm is part of my personality, I use it to make light of things. So to most of my high school friends I was, “the funny, cute, sweet, girl” and I have one yearbook to prove it.

We never get away with bad behavior; it always catches up with us, because God wants us to be loving.

 

Junior year yearbook
Page from my yearbook

Romans 12:2 New King James Version (NKJV)

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

 

 

 

 

 

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The Cousin Cruise

NellieP, Angela, Nellie G. Letty, Roxie, Norma, me, Elvia, and Sally
The beautiful Pacific Ocean

I truly did want to go on this cousin cruise, but I could not justify the expense. I had recently returned from the Holy Land and did not want to burden Mike with this added cost. I prayed about it and felt comfortable to back out of the trip. I called my sister Norma to inform her of my decision. Norma tried to dissuade  my choice but I knew better. A few hours later, Norma’s daughter, Leah, announced that she would be paying for my trip. I tried to talk her out of it, but Leah asked me not to rob her of her blessing. Leah’s blessing did not surprise me because I know of her kind heart.

Me and Elvia
Angela, me, and Letty
Letty, Angela, me, and Sally

We were nine cousins in all, representing four different families on the Lopez side (mother’s side). Two sisters from the Coachella Valley, Nellie P. and Elvia, two sisters from San Diego, Nellie G.and Roxie, cousin Sally from Fresno, two sisters, Letty from Yuma, AZ, and Angela from Rancho Cucamonga, my sister Norma from Mesa, AZ, and me. We were on a slow boat to Ensenada, Mexico.

The Carnival Cruise facilitates everything for their guests, including an App that allows you to text. Only one cousin took advantage of this. I told everyone that I did not need this because I was boasting that I was a world traveler, and that my phone would automatically switch to a special service allowing me to text around the world if need be. My phone did switch but I could never use it; every text I sent returned with a failure message. So this so-called special international service slapped me in the face. By the time I figured out that my phone was useless, it was too late to get the boat App.

Me and Roxie

Our first night after dinner we went to a Karaoke bar. We were pretty much all to ourselves when we arrived.  Nellie P. and I performed a duet, and with the music blasting, it covered all the cracking in our voices. I felt like I could do this all night, so I convinced my cousin Roxie to join me on stage. We picked a Four Seasons song and kept losing sight of the lyrics;  we just sang the chorus. I’d turn to Roxie during the singing and say, “I hate this song!” We laughed and kept singing. Soon a large crowd had gathered. A really good singer took to the stage, a few were so talented that none of us dare go up again; some sang so badly that it made us feel like professionals.

The following morning, since we could not text, Norma and I  had to find which cabin our cousin Nellie P. was in. At customer service, they would not give us the cabin number, but allowed us to call the room. We wanted to meet the group for breakfast. Nellie P. was speaking English, but Norma did not really get the right name of the restaurant. Norma kept referring to the breakfast places as Seabiscuit, but I told her that was name of a racehorse. I thought I heard Sea Breeze. We were both wrong and ended up having breakfast somewhere else.

We all loved the Guy Fieri Hamburger stand; they were excellent. The dinners on the cruise were mediocre, but the service was impeccable! The wait staff called us by our first names, and twice they were part of the entertainment. They sang and danced, while we enjoyed the not-so-great meal.

Two nights on the ship we attended shows that were right up there with a Broadway production, as the singing and dancing were exceptional. These young entertainers are also part of the staff with other activities. While our younger cousins were dancing at pool side, some of the dancers were mixed in the group to help the guests learn the dance moves.

Letty being serenaded
La Bufadora

Early Saturday we arrived in Ensenada, Mexico. I looked out the window and yelled, “Land ho!” I had never been to this part of Mexico, and was pleasantly surprised how clean it is, and quaint too. Three of us, Letty, Angela, and me, decided to take an excursion to the La Bufadora. It is one of the largest blowholes in North America, and the first one I have witnessed.

Our tour guide mentioned a restaurant that was serving free margaritas with lunch. We wanted to try the fresh seafood, but we ordered way too much food so we were forced to order another margarita because the first one came in a shot glass. With the sea happily waving at us we were serenaded by young man singing romantic Mexican songs that our parents had enjoyed. We ate to our hearts’ content. Our tour guide mentioned that we had to meet at the bus by 1:00; we wanted to do some shopping,  but we only had 15 minutes. We did not really know what to purchase but I did consume. Why I bought a fake Louis Vuitton belt I cannot say; maybe because I thought that I had these great bargaining skills or was rushed in shopping. Either way, I’m never going to wear the stupid thing. I don’t like fake anything. It was great to spend this special time with Letty and Angela. Letty is a first-grade teacher and Angela is a psychiatric nurse. These sisters are so pleasant to be around.

This trip was special to us all, and the bonding and special memories we shared will keep us better in touch. Most of us are Facebook friends but this was so much better. I learned so many new things about my cousins: Elvia makes beautiful jewlery; Nellie P., aside from coordinating the trip, won best dressed; Nellie G., was the most popular because she was pulled from the crowd and serenaded by a young male singer in the band. Roxie and I tied for most time spent with God. Norma  downloaded the schedule, which kept us busy, plus tried to prove me wrong on all subjects. Sally was the healthy eater.  We laughed so much, and we did not need any alcohol to laugh out loud.

Thank you, my sweet cousins, for being so kind, and putting up with my sarcasm. Thank you for all the lifetime bonding. Our parents would be proud for keeping the Lopez family together.

When we returned, I had a big surprise waiting for me. Sonja and Russ moved on Friday, and I was so happy that I was out of town and unable to help. I don’t know if it was out of guilt, but I agreed to help Russ clean out the condo while Sonja puts things together in the new home. Dear Lord, what a big mistake! Every part of my body was sore. I tried to open a bottle of water and my hands cramped up so badly that if I could have, I would have driven myself to Urgent Care.

Before Mike left on a business trip, he asked me what the trip cost and told me he would reimburse Leah. This is how my husband rolls, and one of the many reasons I love him so much.

I rate Carnival Cruise, also known as “The Booze Cruise” a 7, but their staff is 10.

Psalms 133:1 NKJV

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brethren to dwell together in unity!

 

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Mother’s Day

Lucas, Jacob, Wil, Maddie, Sonja Russ, me, Mike Jenny and Mikos
Sonja, Jenny and me

We celebrate Mother’s Day once a year, but we should always honor our mothers. On our way to brunch, as Mike and I were driving, we passed the Holy Sepulcher Cemetery. I could not believe how many people were visiting their mothers at the gravesite. I asked Mike if we could stop, because I wanted to take pictures for my Blog. Mike did not want to be late for brunch, but promised to bring me back. I got the time mixed up again for our reservation and we arrived 45 minutes early. I know it sounds like an excuse but due to my ADD and dyslexia, I can never get the time right. I also dragged Sonja’s family into it by giving her the incorrect time. When Lucas and Jacob arrived they headed straight to the chocolate fountain and dipped marshmallows and strawberries, and we were not seated yet. They got chocolate all over their new shirts.

The grandkids, Jacob, Lucas, Wil, and Maddie

Finally, when we sat down, William announced that he was just going to bring a bowl of chocolate to the table to do his own dipping. William’s face was covered in chocolate, and he must have eaten at least 10 chocolate-covered strawberries. I made the mistake of sitting next to Lucas; just looking at the mess of chocolate made me nervous. Mike did not escape the contagious chocolate mess, and some ended on the sleeve of his lime shirt.

As a family we enjoyed not only our meal, but our time out together. I shared my disappointment with Maddie, and excused myself for not being able to attend one of her performances.  Maddie looked at me and lovingly said, “Grandma, you need to cancel your plans!” How I wish I could, because Maddie’s singing brings me great joy.

As  is customary for our dinners, the girls all sat together. We had a lot of rejoicing and wonderful praise reports. Sonja and Russ are moving into their new home on Friday. Both Mike and I were worried that they would be staying with us; but thanks be to God, escrow is scheduled to close right on time. The good and bad news is that I will not be available to help with the move; I will be out of town. I did go over to help Sonja pack last week, but after watching her methodically clean out one desk drawer, I had to leave. Sonja read every piece of paper and kept asking me if it should be saved. I finally yelled, “I can’t take this anymore! Please, for the love of God, put it in the trash!”

Holy Sepulcher Cemetery, Mother’s Day
Brother and sister honoring their mother

When I went back to the cemetery, there were still plenty of people paying tribute to their mothers. Some sat quietly, some had huge family gatherings, eating and enjoying the afternoon at the gravesite of their mother.  I came across a stranger and asked him if he was visiting his mother. He said, “Yes.” I went down to visit the gravesite of a dear friend, and said a quick prayer. As I walked back, I noticed that the stranger was accompanied by a woman. The woman was gently cleaning the stone with granite cleaner, while the man was placing flowers in the metal vase. I introduced myself. I told them that I was a blogger and asked them if I could take a picture of them; they both agreed. Turns out that they were siblings honoring their mother.

I thought of all that my mother had to go through as a single parent. She had seven children, and what she accomplished with us was an amazing task. My father was rarely around for most of my childhood. In the first five years of my parents’ marriage they had five children, one each year! By the time I came around there was a three-year span, and when the youngest was born, another three years. I marvel when I think of how our mother raised us-how she planned our meals, washed mounds and mounds of clothes, there were no clothes dryers back then we had clotheslines instead. My mother’s life was not easy, but we never knew we were lacking because she taught us to appreciate what we had.

I was born with amblyopia on my right eye, and I can still remember my mother taking me on a Greyhound bus to see a specialist in San Diego, CA.  When I was five years old my mother arranged for me to have surgery.  She stayed at the hospital the entire time. I was prescribed special sunglasses to wear, but my brother accidentally sat on them the following week. The broken glasses were never replaced because it was too much of a hardship for my mother to return to San Diego.

I think of all single mothers, and what they must sacrifice to do what our mother did, and-especially single working mothers. They are the heroes of the world! Our mother was in her late thirties when our father checked out. She never dated because she understood her role as an example to us, especially to her daughters. She was decent in every sense, and wanted us to follow suit.

The Fifth Commandment in the Bible states to “honor your mother and father.” Some moms are not the greatest of mothers, and are difficult to honor, let alone love. This is the only commandment that comes with a promise. Why and how do you honor a flawed mother? All mothers are human, and some may have had poor role models, and are ill-equipped to be loving mothers. It does not matter what background your mother had, or how deeply your mother has hurt you, God is commanding you to honor her. The word honor means high respect, great esteem. If anything she gave you birth, and for that you should be grateful. Even if your relationship is strained, never give up on trying to honor her. When you honor your parents. you, in turn, will learn a great value in life. If you do not learn to honor your mother you will be lacking in love. We all need to understand what love represents. There is nothing greater than the love a mother has for her child; even a dysfunctional mother needs to be honored.  God made this a commandment because He knew parents would fall short.

Exodus 20:12 New King James Version (NKJV)

12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.

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