In preparation for Easter, the greatest of all holy days in the  Judeo-Christian calendar, we are to participate in the three acts in Lent: fasting, almsgiving, and prayer.

Prayer is personal time set aside to talk to God, but before we do this, it should be done with a pure and contrite heart. Lent is a time to  examine and reflect on our spiritual walk. In order for God to answer our prayers we must first purge ourselves of any indiscretions.

When my grandchildren fight I make them apologize to one another. If the wound involves tears, forgiveness is more of a challenge, but eventually they will forget their transgressions and continue playing. If we shared the same attitude as that of a child  with forgiveness, we could live more peacefully.

The two words “I’m sorry” are simple little words that can change the atmosphere, but yet we struggle with them passing though our lips. Ephesian 4:26-27 states: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” This means that not all anger is sinful or harmful. Sometimes when you are unfairly attacked you have the right to be angry; in this case we must make every effort  to reconcile with the offender before the end of the day, or the anger will turn into bitterness.  When we allow the sun to go down on our anger we are turning it into something that consumes us. When anger takes over our mind it all downhill from there. You become a slave to your injustice and it takes hold of your every thought. Sometimes for the sake of peace, the words “I’m sorry” are all it takes. Not “I’m sorry” with an explanation, but  just “I’m sorry “will restore peace. “I’m sorry”  means not to look back, not to replay the offense in your head, but to leave it at the foot of the Cross. We never need to defend ourselves because God is our best defense.

Our ministry is an almsgiving one and for the past 20 years we have served the homeless on Skid Row in Los Angeles. We continue our efforts during Lent only with the understanding that we are entering the holy season. I make every effort to speak of the Resurrection and the forgiveness of sins. This subject matter to someone who is homeless is received with a hot or cold attitude, there are no lukewarm homeless people. We cannot change the circumstances of the homeless but we can restore faith and offer hope. Many of the homeless community are wounded souls with the inability to forgive. We only have a few minutes to make a difference in their hearts; we plant seed and God cultivates.

Prayer comes natural to me, and if someone ask me to pray for them I will do it until the Lord releases me from that obligation. What I struggle with is fasting. Several years ago it was effortless for me to fast for 10 days on just a protein drink, but now that I’m older it is not so easy. My fast for Lent is omitting sweets and white flour, the two food groups that I love, so this is a huge sacrifice.

Lenten Payer of St. Ephrem the Syrian

O Lord and Master of my life, keep from me the spirit of indifference and discouragement, lust of power and idle chatter. Instead, grant to me, Your servant, the spirit of wholeness of being, humble-mindedness, patience, and love, O Lord and King, grant me the grace to be aware of my sins and not to judge my brother; for You are blessed now and ever and forever, Amen

We both arrived in Pheonix at the same time. I was coming from Orange County and my sister Jo from New Orleans. We were getting together to celebrate the birthday of our youngest sister Norma, who lives in Mesa, AZ.

We picked up the rental car and headed east towards Mesa. Jo was in charge of navigation while I drove. What was to be a 30 minute drive turned out to be 2 ½ hours. Getting on and off the freeway several times, and reentering the address did not help either. Calling Norma just added to the confussion. I still do not understand two things: 1. How did we get lost? 2. How did we make it to Norma’s house?

Once we arrived we started the planning of our adventurous weekend. Norma had a great idea, that Jo should watch a mini series from Spain which had English subtitles. So going straight to Netflix,and it did not take long for Jo to get hooked. I had just finished season 3 the day before arriving, so I understood why Jo was so enthralled with “Velvet.” I rarely watch secular TV, but this is different, as I neglected  many of my daily obligations to binge on this Spanish love story. I got caught up in the romance of fast-talking Spaniards.

My sister Norma may as well run a petting zoo. She always has so many animals, consisting of two dogs, two cats and a rabbit. These pets usually end up in bed with you. Foof, the rabbit, suffered trauma by an overzealous playtime with Frankie, an American Bull Terrier. The poor bunny had to be put down. It was Bella, my 11 year-old niece, that discovered the wounded hare. In our entire family Bella can certainly rank top ten in the drama department, and after a trip to the vet she and her brother Jacob were inconsolable. Foof was mourned the two days while I was there and certainly many more. This was Bella’s pet and she loved her Foof.

The following day we went hiking and I racked up 7,000 steps on my Fitbit. The weather was beautiful and the scenery of the different types of cacti in this desert region was an education and new appreciation of this  group of plant species.

She carefully sorted her Valentine cards, setting aside the one for the teacher. Just one card read “Will you be my Valentine?” This card made her little heart patter with excitement. She was smitten by Joe, the smartest kid in her third grade class. He was perfect in her eyes and even his crowded front teeth made her smile. No one in her family of eight knew that she would one day marry Joe. How could they understand?  Her four- year-old sister was too young to grasp these things and her brothers, all three of them, would tease her to the point of tears. Her two older sisters thought of her as a mere child. Just one other person she could trust, her best friend Anita. Anita was petite in size, she was kind and sweet, and only she knew how the little girl loved Joe.

It was Valentine’s Day, the day she would know for certain if her true love would reciprocate. The bus ride to school seemed to take forever, and all she could think about was the cards she and Joe  would exchange. Her unspoken love was about to reach a new zenith, and it was a lot for an eight-year-old to bear. When she entered her classroom she quietly took her seat toward the back of the room. They sat in alphabetical order, and always among of the last ones. She wished her last name started with a “P” like Joe’s instead of a “U”. All day long, lunch, two  recesses she waited for the card. The art project that day was to make a holder for all the Valentine cards; she cut and pasted, and the end product was perfect for holding that one card from Joe. Fifteen minutes before dismissal, the teacher announced that it was time to exchange cards.  The girl’s eyes widened with excitement and she pulled her brown bag with the Valentines. You could hear the giggles as all the children took turns in handing out their cards. It was Joe’s turn, and as he came toward the little girl, she put her head down. This was it, she thought to herself, now I will know how much he loves me. The bell rang it was time to go home. She held that one card tightly in her hand and opened it. The card had a picture of a kitten holding a heart which read “You are sweet, Valentine.” What! No! No! this was not happening! She looked over at Anita.  Anita was smiling, almost to the point of gloating. The same card, purchased at Woolworth’s, that she set aside for Joe, was in the petite hands of Anita! Joe loved Anita, not the little girl. She wanted so badly to cry that it hurt, but she remained strong. The bus ride home was torture, and sitting next to Anita added to her heartbreak.

Yes, this is my first memory of Valentine’s Day. I have no idea whatever became of Joe but I do remember that he broke my heart that day.

Valentine’s Day has become a huge marketing ploy; the statistics are staggering with over $13 billion spent annually on this holiday. The average consumer will spend $161.21 on Feast Day of St. Valentine. Remember that it is about love and not the gifts. (I have to keep repeating that to myself).

St. Valentine of Rome is the patron saint of love, young people, and happy marriages.  St. Valentine was put in prison by the Emperor Claudius for marrying couples and professing his faith in Jesus. While he was in prison he healed a jailer’s daughter of blindness, and on the day of his execution, he left the girl a card signed “Your Valentine.” This is the reason we exchange Valentine cards.