How to Play the Cable Game

When you’re a Blogger, your business is on the streets. We need a new roof, so we decided to research getting solar paneling as well. No, we did not take a cold call from our landline; Mike is really doing his homework in exploring our options until we feel comfortable. Our current cable company came with an unsightly satellite dish, Mike asked me to inquire about going wireless in hopes of getting rid of the satellite dish. I procrastinated for several weeks, until Mike confronted me and asked if I had any information on the wireless cable company.

I asked our daughter Sonja for her advice, and she told me, “Mom, you need to research online, and do not call because the cable companies are notorious for adding more than you need.” My reply was, “I’m not stupid!”

I did the online thing, and then the next step on their webpage was to call the company. I fell deep into the cable trap and got all tangled up in their offers. I explained the universal complaint, that we no longer wanted to pay the exorbitant amount, and that we needed the satellite dish removed from our roof.

For the next three hours, the conversation went to the Philippines, Atlanta, and back to the Philippines. Every single time someone got on the line, the first thing that came out of their mouths was, “Thank you for your loyal service, I am so sorry you are having trouble,” or “I understand your concern,” or “We are here to help.” Finally, I felt comfortable enough that I had secured a great deal, saving over half of what I was paying, plus the removal of the satellite dish.

Before I hung up, I asked the foreign representative, what channels I had. I was instructed to go online for the information. All that came up were kid’s shows, and religious programs (I love them), but other than that, I was stripped of mostly everything else.

Another phone call, and another three hours. After all the revisions, the savings were minimal. To add to this misery, every time I called, I had to get Mike on the phone so that he could give them permission for me to make the changes. So finally we were set, and the cable company was scheduled to come out later that week. In the meantime Mike canceled the original service for that day of the new service.

The cable man came later that week, and the first thing that came out of his mouth was, “This order was so confusing, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.”The first thing I asked him was, “You’re going to remove the dish, right?” His reply was “No! we never do that!” The kind cable man walked around the perimeter of our house and went into every room, including the attic. Then he asked me, “Why are you changing companies?” I said, “Because we’re paying way too much money.”

I don’t really know what happened next, but either the cable guy thought the job was going to take too long, or he felt compassion for my plight. He shared with me that if I changed the services to my name, as a new customer, the price change would be a lot less, and the change reflected on my new bill. When I heard this, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. With the cable guy standing behind me, I called the company and changed everything to my name. But it was not that easy, it took a long time, and I had to get Mike involved again .

After canceling the second service, I had to reinstate everything in my name and schedule for them to come out. Another two hours with a foreigner, with the heaviest accent, I honestly could not tell if it was a male or female, so I made the call and kept referring to the person as Ma’am. After about an hour into the conversation with the transaction almost complete, she put me on hold. Then another stranger picked up the call. “Can I help you?” I cannot explain what came out of my mouth, but it started with me screaming, “LOOK, I HAVE BEEN ON THE PHONE WITH YOU GUYS FOR DAYS! PLEASE DO NOT APOLOGIZE! DO NOT SAY YOU UNDERSTAND! DO NOT REMIND ME OF WHAT A LOYAL CUSTOMER I AM! JUST TAKE CARE OF MY PROBLEM! I WANT A RESOLUTION!” I knew I was being recorded, and at this point, all of the Jesus that was left in me went out the window…I did the unthinkable and dropped the proverbial F-bomb. I abruptly hung up the phone and called another provider. I felt really convicted and regretted using foul language, so I asked God to forgive me. As much as I wanted to apologize to that person, it was impossible.

This was the weekend of the Masters and Game Of Thrones (Mike’s favorite programs), but not for us. No Hallmark for me, no EWTN either, just Mike and our elusive cat Prudie.

The new cable people were scheduled to set up the service at 3 PM on Monday. We were excited to finally get all of new stuff, with loads of channels. We waited, and waited until around 7:30 PM. Mike came downstairs to inform me that there were two mysterious-looking trucks parked in front of our home. I honestly thought we were about to get robbed. The door bell rang, and a man with a plain shirt said that he was from the cable company. Mike had to tell me to calm down, when I asked, “Do you work in the dark?” “No,” said the man. “Well then why are you here?” I asked. Mike told me he would handle it and for me to go away. He got in a bigger fight with them and asked them to leave. We were back at square one.

The following day I left for Israel, and left Mike to take care of this mess. I had changed everything to my name, and I did not leave Mike the password. Mike called me while I was in Jerusalem and I just happened to remember the password. After that day my phone went missing, and poor Mike was left with dealing with another incompetent cable company.

As far as I am concerned, either all cable companies are overwhelmed, or controlled by demonic forces seeking to destroy our lives. I will never change companies again!

When I returned from Israel just one thing was left for the cable company to complete, our landline. The young man that came that fateful morning was kind and filled with knowledge. I asked him if he attended church. These questions always get me into trouble, but it’s my manner of making Jesus small talk. He told me that his mother attended Catholic school but was no longer involved in the church. With great boldness the Holy Spirit fell on me as I told him that it was no accident that he came to service my home. I then shared with him that he would be coming back to serve the Lord with great power. I went on to say that he would get confirmation from his mother, saying that she too would announce that she would be going back to her faith. I took a deep breath and said a prayer that this was a message from the Lord. I continue to pray for him.

If this entire cable ordeal was to get the young man back to serving God, it was all worthwhile…one soul at a time.

My landline rings about 10 times a day, “Hello, Lynda, you told us to call you last year, we are working on your neighbor’s home and are a family owned- business, blah, blah, blah ” My reply, “Please take me off your call list!” Don’t judge us, we are old school and still believe we need a landline. I use it to find my cell phone regularly.

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Walking In the Steps of Jesus, Part Two

Good Friday

Good Friday is the reason we’ve been coming to Jerusalem for over 35 years. For the reenactment of the Carrying of the Cross, we all know our parts, with the exception of Danny, the newest team member. My part for the last ten years is to play our Blessed Mother Mary. On the third station, Jesus falls the first time, just a few steps away is where Jesus meets His Mother. My role, is to speak to her Son in great agony. Everything on the Via Dolorosa is to bring the attention to Jesus. Even though the Blessed Mother Mary is a part in the carrying of the Cross, the sole intention is for people to see what our Lord went through on the dreadful day. Jim has been playing the part of Jesus for several years. I am amazed at his transformation, and how Jim takes on the look and personifies our Lord with such grace.

The suitcase with our sound system was never recovered from the airline, so that meant that Pat and Linda had to sing a cappella. We all noticed one thing about carrrying the Cross this year. The pilgrims were cold in spirit and did not really react to what they witnessed. The Arabs are always indifferent to what we do, and they always react, some in disbelief, others in mocking us. It was unusual to experience the blank looks, with soulless eyes staring back at us. It was like the state the world is in today, cold and unyielding. Even the young man that we pulled from the crowd to play Simon of Cyrene could not stop taking selfies of himself while carrying the Cross; that was almost comical.

Perhaps, time will tell the difference we made in persons’ lives. You can never get the image of Jesus out of your mind as He was beaten and made to carry His Cross. We all need to remember what He went through for us. We know that God blessed our effort, and if even a handful of people were touched, we accomplished our task. We plant the seed, and God does the watering. In the eyes of the Lord it only takes one person to be touched to make a difference. That person could be the next Billy Graham, or a holy priest.

After the pageant, as much as I wanted to go visit other holy sites, my body said no. All the sleepless hours took a toll on my being, and so much virtue put forth that it depleted my energy. For the first time I was able to get rest.

Holy Saturday

I have not mentioned Joanne, the spiritual leader of our group, because she had not been able to participate due to suffering from Meniere’s disease. She had to stay in bed for a large part of the trip. She always serves her purpose in interceding on our behalf and we could feel her prayers.

Bethlehem

We always make time in our schedule to visit the birthplace of Jesus. Bethlehem is almost all Muslim, and very few Christian’s remain in this town.

If you are purchasing any olive wood statues or anything made of olive wood, the best prices are in Bethlehem, and the merchants barter. Rarely can you walk away from the great deals, because they follow you until you cave in.   

The Church of the Nativity was jam-packed with pilgrims from all over the world. We waited over an hour to pray and touch the place where Jesus was born, for just a few seconds, I placed all your prayer requests there. Though we were rushed, I secured my spot on the only bench near the holy spot and continued with my petitions.

Bethany

Bethany, the town without pity, or a police force. It had been almost 6 years since we last visited Bethany. I had no phone to take any pictures, so what I took in with my eyes was an incredible decline in a society in anarchy. At the shops the cars are parked four deep, some parallel, some sideways, some back in, some left in the middle of the street. Cars are driven on both sides of the road. Cars are abandoned on the side of the road, and trash is also piled on the side of the road. The chaos is everywhere you look. Near the meat market were two tied up sheep, either for sale or for slaughter. Caged chickens were everywhere you turned. What broke my heart were the stray cats, as they were completely neglected, and pretty much all ravenous. I threw a piece of hard bread to one cat and it devoured it like it was delicious cat food.

Our only intention in Bethany is to visit the Church of St. Lazarus and his tomb. This church is stuck in the middle of this dysfunctional city and is the only saving grace of this community. The priest is African and when I spoke to him, he was forlorn. As the church was preparing for Easter Sunday service, I asked the priest how many parishioners he had. He answered, “Sadly, tomorrow maybe 15 to 20 people will be attending the service.” This was a great paradox; being assigned a church in the Holy Land with very few parishioners.

After praying in the beautiful church we headed to Lazarus’s Tomb. I’d forgotten how cumbersome and steep the steps that you have to climb down to to get to the tomb were. At the bottom of the steps is a rather small opening to go into the actual tomb. For some strange reason it felt smaller than the last time I was there. It was a little like a Winnie-the-Pooh moment, making my way the bottom. We had the tomb all to ourselves, and we bombarded heaven with prayers for those in bondage; it was powerful!

St. Lazarus’s tomb

By the time we got back it was dinner time, and we still needed to pack the medicine for the poor. With the aid of angels we mustered enough strength to complete the task of making 25 bags for the poor.

Easter Sunday

When we checked the weather we knew we were in for some rain. Part of my sole purpose in life was to attend an Easter service at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Not one person could give us a schedule; even the Internet could not really pinpoint a time for the services. It seemed that the main service was a midnight Mass, which I was not interested in attending.

When we arrived in the courtyard of the church it was packed. What seemed to be a line was more of a serpentine formation leading in many directions. We made our way and waited, and waited for the doors to open. The sky poured out some light rain, and then some hail. It was cold enough to wear gloves and scarves. Most of us were equipped with unbrellas, but mine kept hitting people, and as many times as I apologized, it would happen again. Finally I handed the umbrella to a tall stranger, and the problem was solved.

After 2 hours the doors opened. I was smack in the middle of a herd of wild buffalo moving in slow motion to get to the door. So many people pushing and shoving their way in. All I could recall was that I remembered there was a step at the entrance of the door, and I wanted to be sure that I did not miss it, or for sure I was going to be trampled. The crowd was so thick that I could not see my feet. I’m happy to report that we all made into the church. We walked in only to discover more crowds and more lines. We prayed at the Stone of Unction (where Jesus’s body was placed after the Crucifixion) and I left the remainder of the prayer requests. I was gateful for the experience of celebrating Easter in the Holy Land, and especially at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher.


 

 

 

 

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Walking In the Steps of Jesus, Part One


God has a perfect plan for each of our lives; part of mine is to pray for others. Following the Steps of our Lord in the Holy Land always restores my spirit.

St. Peter in Gallicantu

Before the trip, my friend Helen and I checked my seating on the Boeing 777, and I was relieved that it was a window seat. Even though we arrived 5 hours early to the airport, I always double check to make sure that I have a window or aisle seat. There was so much commotion at the ticket counter that I never got a chance to check.

My seat was at dead center on a packed plane. To make matters worse, the woman sitting directly in front of me suffered from puffy hair syndrome. I am not exaggerating when I say that, she sat with her chair reclined almost the entire time. Her hair almost touched my face, so this was my 14 hour- cross.

We arrived in Tel Aviv to the news of a lost piece of baggage, which had the sound system and my Bible, and another hour delay. 14 hours from LAX to Istanbul, with a 2 hour layover, and then 2 hours to Tel Aviv, and finally another 1-1/2 drive to Jerusalem. We were beat-up missionaries by the time we arrived at the hotel.

St. Peter in Gallicantu

Holy Thursday was our best day, filled with prayer and reverence. We started our walk to St. Peter in Gallicantu. This church is where Jesus was held in prison for one night before his crucifixion. I prayed for all who are imprisoned in their own minds, and for those in prison. Pat, Jim, Robert, Danny, and I were able to pray in the prison dungeon (deep pit) for over 45 minutes; that was a small miracle. Danny read from Psalm 88, powerful prophetic words that Jesus spoke: “O Lord God, I cry out at night in Your presence…You have caused my companions to shun me..I call on You, O Lord, I spread out my hands to you.”

Upper Room

We entered the Zion Gate to get to the Upper Room, and we did our usual foot washing as Jesus did to His desciples on Holy Thursday. Again, the great favor of God with permission to enter into another room (which is usually closed to the public). Many prayers went forth, the anointing was so powerful. I asked God to bless all who we were praying for. We visited King David’s tomb, which is located almost directly under the Upper Room, and where more prayer went forth.

Western Wall

We exited the Zion Gate to enter into the Dung Gate to reach the Western Wall. Pat and I were able to secure the perfect spot , and we dragged some plastic chairs so that we could sit with our hands on the wall. All your prayer requests were placed on the wall. We were glued to the wall for over an hour. I had also taken many pictures of the prayer requests with the idea of texting them to those I was praying for.

By this time my phone only had 6% charge, and we needed to call our driver. One of the shop owners that we are familiar with offered to charge the phone while we prayed at the Ecce Homo churches located on the Via Dolorosa. With the phone charged we headed down the Lion Gate to catch our bus.

I knew we had walked for hours and wanted to share with the team how many miles we walked. When I reached for the phone in my purse it was not to be found. In a panic, Jim and I retraced the steps where I was but no phone; somewhere along the Via Dolorosa my phone mysteriously disappeared.

When we got to the hotel I used Danny’s iPhone to call my daughter Sonja on one of the two numbers I had memorized, for her to help me locate my iPhone. Sonja found the iPhone located not to far from the hotel. Danny and I went to the front desk to call a cab. The man at the desk told us that this was a police matter, so we headed to the police station instead.

I have never been to a police station in my life and what I witnessed almost locked my jaw permanently. As we walked into the police station the window of the station was riddled with bullet holes. We were greeted by a woman officer who instructed us to go to the third floor for help. Through the “find my iPhone app” my phone was now in Ramallah, which is located on the West Bank. We waited for almost 2 hours to get help. In the meantime, we were part of a side show of 4 pre-teen Arabs getting arrested and questioned. In my mind I wished I had learned more than one word in Arabic. The scene that took place was filled with screaming and yelling; both the police and the young men never backed down. There was such a lack of respect, and the defiant boys had the support of their parents. At no time did the parents interrupt to lead the boys into respecting the police, instead they laughed at the situation.

On the third floor, only the plainclothes officer that helped us spoke English. I was beyond tired when the officer came out to tell us that there was a possibility that the phone could be retrieved, but both Danny and I had to go on the ride. Finally, after the long wait the grim news was that the iPhone was in Palestinian territory, and that the Israeli Police had no jurisdiction. It was too dangerous for them to cross that border. My phone was now in the hands of bad guys attempting to hack whatever information they could.

As we walked out of the police station, the half-covered moon lit the skies for us to catch a cab. To make small talk with the taxi driver, I shared what had happened. The taxi driver pulled over to see the location of the phone and said, “I take to Ramallah get phone, no tonight, I no see dark , tomorrow you call, and I take!” I presumed that angels got us back to the hotel because the old man was as blind as a bat.

I thank the Lord for Sonja, who locked up all my information on the iPhone. The only thing that was lost was the pictures that I had taken on that day. I got used to not having a phone for 5 days, and honestly it was not bad. My Blog is late because I had to get a new phone.

God Bless you who are addicted to your phones like I am. Five days without a phone taught me that life is fine without one, but I’d rather have a phone.

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