Guns in my ????

When I was eight or nine years old I paled around with my youngest sister Norma. We were always getting into mischief. We snuck into our brothers’ room to mess with their belongings. Carefully hanging on a wall was a gun rack with a huge rifle. I don’t know how, but I managed to take it off the rack. Both Norma and I climbed on top of one of our brothers’ beds, opened the window, and knocked off the screen. I pretended I was going to shoot someone. The mattress was unstable but that didn’t stop me. The rifle was so big and awkward that I had to rest it on my right shoulder. When I released the trigger, the fast movement caught my cheek and pinched it hard enough to draw a little blood.  This terrified me, so  I quickly put the rifle back on the rack, and Norma and I ran out of  the room. We never told our mother, and, other than Norma, no one knew of the mishap. I recently called my brother George to ask him if he remembered having this rifle. “That was one of my favorite guns, it was a 12 guage double barrel shotgun; it was our dad’s gun.”  George also mentioned that he made the gun rack in his woodshop class. “What ever became of the gun?” I asked. George told me that our brother Robert sold it.

Around that same time a deranged man snapped and started shooting people in our neighborhood. The crazed man, a former school teacher and pedophile, shot at four persons before taking  his own life. My brother Robert and his friends, Ricky and Joe were just hanging out, sitting on hay stacks. When they first heard the gunshots they thought it was from firecrackers. Robert got caught in the crossfire. My bother was very thin and, thank God, because the bullets went right through his jeans and the sleeve of his shirt. My brother’s friend Ricky was not so lucky; he was shot in the stomach and had to undergo several extensive surgeries. This was big news in our small town of Brawley. The article made it all the way to the front pages of The San Diego Union and The Los Angeles Times. For years we had a copy of the article, with Robert showing how the bullets grazed his clothing. Today this would have been considered a mass shooting.

Saugas High School

In the early morning of November 14, 2019, a deranged young man killed two of his fellow students and injured three others. My heart dropped in great sadness as once again the news was playing a rerun of the same scene, adolescents filing out of school, with parents nervously waiting for their children. I rarely watch the news because it is so tainted and untrustworthy, but on this night I wanted to know more about the troubled killer.

The Boy                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       The pattern is always the same: a disturbed boy filled with loneliness that led him to a state of irrational thinking. This is a doorway to darkness and an introduction  to the strong hateful voice of Satan. The boy, like many who preceded him, did the unthinkable, and, as if the San Andreas fault gave way, California was violently shaken again. These boys are sociopaths; they believe that they have no other outlet, so they take matters into their own hands. These disturbing diabolical acts  are all too common in our society.

Reaction

What is the first reaction after a tragic shooting?  People become a force of unity.  If they have fallen away from God, they quietly make their way back. Those who have no firm foundation in their faith start looking to God for answers and comfort. Then there are those who can’t seem to get past the anger; they seek immediate action, falling into the cracks of the political movement to make a drastic change in gun control laws. I feel so strongly that gun control has too many loose ends. I am not a proponent of banning guns from responsible gun owners, but I believe we need to take additional measures. When our children were in high school, my husband and I signed an agreement from the school not to serve alcohol to minors in our home. We need to get connected with the community and find out who has guns in their homes. We also need to make sure that these weapons are under lock and key and that the school is aware of these guns. I understand that gang members have illegal weapons and that tracking guns from outlaws would pose a greater challenge, but gang members are not the assailants in mass shootings.

Removing God From the Schools

If we could all take a closer look at the core of this ongoing problem, we would understand the importance of God in our lives. The more we pollute our public schools with worldly, unnecessary indoctrination by forced, immoral changes, the more we shut out God. There is no spiritual protection when we remove God from the schools. These special interest groups have challenged Judeo-Christian values by denouncing moral guidance of the Word of God. Our Lord in not in the hearts of those who operate in rebellion. God is with the families that have lost loved ones, He is in the midst of  those suffering from broken spirits.

We all want answers. Why do these young men keep surfacing and taking innocent lives? The connection is clear – all of these young men need mental counseling. They are vessels of evil but because no one understood the seriousness of their suffering they exploded on the world.

Prayer

These are the words of Sean, a Saugus High School student. “I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why these things happen, they just do. It was just the comfort of having my teammates and my coach around us. We ended up just, all joining hands and praying in the room with our coach. He led us in a prayer to just calm us down and let us have the comfort of knowing that we’re okay.” That is all we can do when we are faced with something that is out of our control. We pray because only God has the right answers to this ongoing dilemma, and we all need to be still and know that He is there.

My Prayer 

Dear Lord, we will never understand why innocent lives are taken from us. We are all filled with grief and need Your comfort. I lift up the families of Grace Anne Muehlberger and Dominic Blackwell. These two beautiful souls left for school one morning never to return to their loved ones. Dear Lord, give these families special graces to get through their tragic loss. Lord, we have nowhere else to turn. Teach us to seek You always. Amen

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”  St. Teresa of Calcutta

Small Talk

I am a big advocate of small talk; I make it a habit to talk to strangers. Small talk may make a person feel special because showing a stranger  kindness can change the direction of their day.

About three years ago I was having trouble finding a reliable dry cleaning place. Through the suggestion of my daughter, I started taking my clothes to an eco-friendly place. The owner is a young, educated Middle Eastern man named John.  I know this because through small talk I’ve gotten acquainted with him.  We talk about a lot of things, like my missionary trips and visiting his homeland of Jordan. We never discuss religion because we both share the love of God. Last year, before I went to the Holy Land, I asked my friend if he had any special prayer intentions. He told me of his desire to have a child. He and his wife have been trying to conceive for years. I’m always prepared to jot down prayer requests, so I got out a 5X3 card and wrote out his prayer request. I tucked it into my purse with the rest of the petitions, to take with me on the trip.

For some special reason, John’s request really tugged at my heart. I started to pray for him before the trip during adoration after daily Mass.  We usually receive hundreds of prayer requests, and since I am the one in charge of  organizing them, I make certain that my personal friends and family end up in my pile. I remembered that the year before, I purchased some special powder from the Milk Grotto, so when I picked up my dry cleaning I handed John the small packet of powder. I gave him a brief explanation of the Milk Grotto and left. I cannot explain why, but my prayers for John and his wife were fervent.

The Milk Grotto

Though I had been to the Holy Land numerous times, I had never heard of the Milk Grotto. It was not until 2013 while traveling with Father Leonard Mary, and Bro. Leo from EWTN that I was first introduced to the Milk Grotto.  It was through Bro. Leo that I first heard of the Milk Grotto. Bro. Leo was on a mission to purchase some powder for his sister, who was having trouble conceiving a child. I was overly excited to visit this holy site for the first time, so on the day we went to the Church of The Nativity in Bethlehem, we walked to the Milk Grotto. Like most Catholic churches in the  Holy Land, this small chapel is in the custody of the Franciscan order. This church is located a stone’s throw  from the Church of The Nativity. In the Holy Land, other than the regular church schedules, no one really knows the schedule for when the stores are open. From my past experiences sometimes the tiny Milk Grotto store is open, and sometimes, if you patiently pray and wait, the Franciscan  priest will show up and open the doors to the store. The powder is sold for $5 a package. As you walk into the small office, the walls of the shop are covered with pictures of babies, hundreds of them. The Franciscans have put together large photo albums of the testimonies of miraclous births. Couples who for years had been trying to conceive a child are now sharing photos of their beautiful babies. They write letters of thanksgiving for God’s answers to their prayers.

The Powder

When the Three Kings went to visit the Holy Family, the early Christians believed that the family lived in this grotto. While the Blessed Mother Mary was nursing baby Jesus some of her breast milk spilled on the ground, turning the red stone into white. The white stone is  taken from the spot where Mary’ s breast milk fell. Aside from healing infertility, there are many other miracles that have been experienced through the intercession of Mary with the powder from the Milk Grotto. The powder is to be sprinkled into a liquid beverage like coffee, tea, or milk. But without a doubt it is through praying that the miracles manifest. At that same spot where it is known that Mary was nursing baby Jesus, I prayed for my friend John and his wife. After asking Mary for her intercession, I was spiritually overcome with emotions of joy. I cried. This was not the only holy site where I petitioned on their behalf, but at all the holy sites. God entrusts us to carry these burdens for our friends and family, to restore faith in their lives.

The Miracle

Last week I went to pick up my dry cleaning. As my credit card transaction was being processed John said, “I have great news! My wife is pregnant!” I could not believe my ears. My reply was simply, “Oh my God, I prayed so much for you guys!” I tried not to show too much emotion but I started to cry tears of great joy. John came across the counter and we hugged. “She is 17 weeks, and we are having a girl!” John added. I cried all the way home and into the house. As my husband Mike unloaded the dry cleaning he asked me, “What’s the matter with you?” I shared the story and he smiled at me, and saying, “That’s amazing!” I am still praising God for granting my friend and his wife this wonderful miracle.

Eye Contact

We never know what a difference we make in the lives of others. The next time you are out in public, start a conversation with a stranger, share the love of Christ with others. You don’t need to beat someone over the head with a Bible to show the love of Christ. A simple smile makes the world a better place.

“The deeds you do may be the only sermon some people will hear today.” St. Francis of Assisi

Matthew 18:21-22 New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE)

²¹ Then Peter approaching asked him, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?” ²² Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.

 

I will be the first to admit that there are several people in my life that I struggle with. As Christians, we are to love and pray for everyone, but I battle with that as well. Before I start to pray for them, I must beg God to give me special graces, and for the prayer to come from my heart. Forgiveness is mentioned in the Bible numerous times, yet we all have to work to attain this objective.

Every day I attempt to obey the Lord, but every day I fall short. So I started to take a better look at myself, a self-examination, as I asked myself what I can do to become a better person, a better servant. I realize that truly forgiving others is the first step. We are either on the road to heaven or hell and along the way are many pit stops, warning signs from God: dead end, falling rocks, wrong way, go back, or no outlet. These signs symbolize that we need to analyze our direction. Unforgiveness is the biggest roadblock, and if you get stuck there, you fall into the habit of being  the victim who has been wronged.

Ephesians 4:26-27 New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE)

²⁶ Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, ²⁷ and do not leave room for the devil.

The Biggest Roadblock

I mentioned earlier that I have to beg, yes beg, God for special graces to get through some difficult situations with people that hold you captive to their unforgiveness. This type of spirit is not from the Lord because God does not operate like that. It is a spirit of control that allows the person on the other end to remain in the state of  unforgiveness. Forgiveness does not always happen simultaneously; some people are wired to hold on to things longer. Anyone that comes from a large family understands that no two children are ever alike. But in the kingdom of God, His children are all made in His image. God has no favorites; in His eyes, no one is treated better than anyone else. I can only use myself as an example: I can’t add to save my life, I struggle to follow a recipe, and even with a calendar, I still get my dates all mixed up. That is what I have to deal with, but on the other hand, God gave me other gifts, gifts that I am fine tuning, and I understand that it may take a lifetime to master them. If we could understand all the gifts God has for us, we would be that much closer to attaining sainthood. God will only give us what He determines we can be trusted with. Unforgiveness blocks your giftings, because you are in an emotional state of sin.

Matthew 6:14-15 New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE)

¹⁴ If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you.¹⁵ But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgression

The Sin

When someone hurts me or a loved one, I become angry toward that person. My thoughts are consumed with the pain that the person caused. I have a dialogue with other people in regard to this, my mind is constantly on that person,  how hateful his or her behavior was and how it affected me. This can go on for days, or until I come to my senses. The last time this happened, I could not shake it off on my own. I made an appointment with my priest for confession. It was through this session that I was able to move on and forgive. When the thought of the incident popped  into my head, I’d  say a prayer for healing of my emotions and pray for that person.

We cannot allow unforgiveness to take hold of our spirit because it causes our hearts to become hardened. It is a sin to hold on to these feelings because once you give in to unforgiveness, the Devil has control. This sin gives the Devil a foothold. When the Devil grabs you by the foot, he reaches for the rest of you. He affirms your causes, feeding you with pathetic lies so you retain  the mindset of unforgiveness. Once the Devil has control, the situation becomes about “you” and how deeply you were wounded. The Devil is a expert in making us feel wronged because he is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44).  He is also the accuser of our brothers (Rev 12:10). He incites our resentment and nurses our wounds, reducing us to self-pity. When we reach this point, our emotions and thoughts are no longer ours: we become imprisoned by the offense. Our emotions now switch to revenge, and in order to protect our brokenness, our resentment takes control, so we give in to the sin of unforgiveness. When this happens, we are walking around with a dark cloud over us,  and we can’t see it because the cloud obstructs our spiritual vision.

Acts 26:18 New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE)

¹⁸ to open their eyes that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may obtain forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who have been consecrated by faith in me.’

Set Free

I have developed  the habit of praying until I feel a release from this negative emotion. Sometimes I get a sign from God to confirm that the prayer has been answered. It is such a relief to be freed from unforgiveness. Forgiveness is an open door to all that God has in store for you. Forgiveness also frees the other person you have been holding captive. If the offense was committed by a toxic person, forgive that person and free yourself of that relationship. Like the words from the famous Disney song, “Frozen,” “Let it go!” God will repair your broken heart, but don’t take a lifetime to reach for the rope to pull yourself out of that rut. Satan will do everything in his power to sabotage all your relationships. He comes to rob, kill and destroy; this is his purpose on earth. I leave you with the universal prayer:

Matthew 6:9-13 New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE)

The Lord’s Prayer. ^{9 “}This is how you are to pray”: