The Sweet Surrender: Choosing Discipline Over Indulgence

The Moment of Clarity

It came to a screeching halt — and then the epiphany arrived: stop eating sweets. Cold turkey. For some people, that is the only thing that works.

What Was Pulling the Body Down

See’s Candy, homemade goodies from neighbors, extra-rich desserts — all of it was taking a toll. Even an afternoon nap could not revive the body. The sugar was depleting energy rather than restoring it. The overconsumption of sweets was wearing on the mind and dragging my spirit down as well.

The Decision

On Tuesday, December 27th, it stopped. No more sweets.

How Long Does It Really Take?

According to Maxwell Maltz, it takes 21 days to establish a good habit. Research on habit formation, however, suggests the timeline may be considerably longer — studies report median times ranging from 59 to 66 days, with substantial individual variability. Phillippa Lally, a British research psychologist, published findings on how habits are formed in the real world, modeled in a landmark study in the European Journal of Social Psychology. Her research points to approximately 66 days as a more realistic benchmark — though considerable variation exists between individuals and behaviors in the time it takes to form a habit.

The science is clear: lasting change takes time, consistency, and something stronger than willpower alone.

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” — Philippians 4:13

We have to start somewhere so I started by omitting the sweet jelly on my Ezekiel toast and though it took on the taste of cardboard it was still satisfying. The rest of the day the See’s peanut brittle was calling my name but I ignored the voices and did not cave in.

The Diet Diaries: A Complicated History

Weight Watchers: Three Strikes

My history with dieting is complicated. Weight Watchers never quite fit — too much planning, too much structure. The literature is still sitting on the shelf after three attempts with no real results.

The Easter Disaster

The worst Weight Watchers experience came many years ago, when a friend and fellow member made the journey together. It was Easter season — and the jelly beans and pastel-colored M&M’s proved to be an irresistible downfall. On the very day the friend stepped on the scale and earned her star for a ten-pound loss, for me scale told a very different story — a gain of seven pounds. That sad but true moment confirmed what had long been suspected: a rigid, structured program is simply not the right fit.

The Others Did Not Fare Better

Jenny Craig and her diet counterparts did not go over well either. Diet pills? Out of the question — they bring on sleeplessness and a kind of mental restlessness that is simply not worth it.

The Real Battlefield: The Mind

The battle is not in the kitchen. It is in the mind — the self-talk, the moments of feeling out of control, the moments of feeling completely in control, the quiet negotiations made in the noggin before a single bite is taken. That is where the real struggle lives.

No Shortcuts

Surgical intervention has never been a consideration, and for good reason — an honest self-awareness about how the mind works makes it clear that the external fix would not address the internal battle.

Four Days In — and Moving Forward

It has only been four days without sugar. And yet, there is enough confidence — and enough grace — to write about it. With God’s help, this journey continues one day at a time.

New Year, New Habits: Resolutions Worth Keeping

This Year’s Resolution

This New Year’s resolution is simple and specific: establish good eating habits — and cut out sugar entirely.

A Look Back at Resolutions Past

This one already feels like an improvement over years gone by.

• The “No Antics” Year: One year the resolution was to stop putting up with anyone’s nonsense. That did not go well. The arrogance behind it caused more suffering than the antics ever had.

• The Letter-Writing Campaign: Another year brought a resolution to respond to every injustice with a formal letter. That one actually paid off — literally.

• Be Kinder to Others: Then came the resolution to be kinder — including to husband Mike. Mike is deeply loved, but he has a remarkable gift for making every good intention evaporate the moment he is upsetting. That resolution had its challenges.

• Unfiltered Honesty: Perhaps the worst of all was the resolution to speak the mind completely unfiltered. That lasted approximately one week — and left a trail of mildly offended people in its wake.

The Real Secret to Keeping a Resolution

Whatever the resolution, change requires effort. Give it at least 21 days. Give it 66 if possible. And remember — God has given every human being free will, and He does not abandon those who are striving. He will walk with you through it.

A Word of Encouragement from Scripture

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” — 1 Corinthians 10:13

A Blessing for the New Year

May this new year grant you the desires of your heart — and direct your path to peace.

The Magnificat, today’s reading at Mass “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my savior. For he has looked upon his lowly servant. From this day all generations shall call me blessed; the Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name.” This is just part of the reading found in Luke 1:46-55. Mary gives God all the glory with specific clarity proclaiming the greatness of the Lord, she never elevates herself above her Son nor should we. There is a great misconception with Protestants in regards to Mary. Mary is the Mother of God and as servants of Christ we are to honor her just as Jesus did. God gave us Ten Commandments and the fourth is to Honor your father and mother. When we get the wrong idea about Catholics and Mary just ask yourself how you would defend your own mother if someone spoke against her? Jesus will always come to the defense of his Mother Mary. We thank Mary for saying yes to giving birth to her son Jesus and we are ever mindful of her contribution for this celebration of Christmas.

If your home is lit up with Christmas light, a Christmas tree and exchanging gifts you are celebrating the birth of Christ. You can call it a cultural tradition but it has Christian roots.  According to the Pew Research 81% of Christians in the United States celebrate Christmas but 87% 0f non-Christians also celebrate this holiday. What joy it must be in heaven to see such a diverse group of people come together to celebrate our Savior’s blessed event.

It seems that we have secularized most things of Christmas but even Santa Claus is real.

St. Nicholas,was born December 6, 280, a bishop from Patara, modern day Turkey.  There are many legends about St. Nicholas, my favorite is how he helped three poor sisters by putting gold in stocking for their dowry, this saved them from being sold into servitude. The Dutch continued St. Nicholas celebration but to them he was known as Sint Nikolaas but his nickname was Sinterklaas. He came to America in the 1700s and became part of the Christmas celebration. It was the  poem “An Account of a Visit from St. Nicholas” by Clement Clarke Moore that made him who he is today. So this once charitable bishop evolved to Santa Claus.

Christmas is about giving gifts and sharing love right? Not when it come to my neighbors peanut butter fudge. Adele makes the most delicious fudge in the world and I never, ever share it with anyone. It is unfortunate that no picture can be posted because it’s all eaten up. It took two days of taking small enjoyable bite of this delicacy and the feeling of this Christmas joy rush was blissful. Not one person in my family will ever experience this euphoria, thank you Adele.

May all of Americans celebrating Christmas think of you Lord and may you bless them with a prosperous New Year of peace that surpasses all understanding. From our humble abode to yours, Merry Christmas!

Grace in Two Acts

A Christmas Adoption and a Day on Skid Row

Part One: The Perfectly Put-Together Family

What Happens When the Gift-Giver Isn’t Gift-Ready

St. Norbert Catholic Church in Orange, CA announced that parishioners could adopt a family for Christmas. As the Bible study group leader, the opportunity was taken to select a family of seven. The group split up the family among themselves and went shopping. After the ladies from Bible study dropped off their gifts, Helen and a loaded two large plastic bags and set out to deliver them.

Dressed in light-colored sweats — no pockets — a phone was tucked around the waistband. Carrying two oversized bags, the phone began a slow, inevitable journey down the pant leg. There are many steps leading to the front door of this particular house, and before the doorbell could even be rung, a beautifully put-together woman swung open the door — catching a guest in the act of digging for a phone somewhere near the ankle.

No makeup. Hair gathered in a ponytail with considerable lumps. Not yet showered, because a workout was still on the agenda. And then — a glance down at the sweatpants revealed a sizable grease stain.

“Come in,” said the perfectly composed human being at the door.

Oh no.

It was 11:00 AM. The entire family was seated in the living room — her husband, two handsome sons, what appeared to be her mother, her sister, and a well-groomed cat whose coat resembled a tuxedo. To make matters worse, the mouth opened and an explanation spilled out about cleaning up after a party. The orderly, holy family received their gifts, and a silent prayer was offered on the way out:

“Please, Lord — do not let these people attend the same service as me.”

Part Two: The World’s Smallest Christmas Present

Medals from Rome on Skid Row

December had been a full month. A week before the Tamale Party, the homeless ministry took the team to Skid Row. The plan had been to purchase blankets — at $5 each, at least fifty were needed to make it worthwhile — but the budget did not stretch that far. What was on hand, however, were medallions from Rome. Minuscule medals, barely visible to the naked eye. But that was what there was to give.

As lunches were handed out and prayers were offered, people were asked if they wanted the world’s smallest Christmas present. They laughed. But when they recognized the saint depicted on each tiny medal, something shifted. An older woman with a deeply lined face began to cry — her confirmation name, she said, was Bernadette. To each person, the medals meant something sacred. Reaching into the small plastic bag yielded Our Lady of Guadalupe, St. Francis of Assisi, St. Teresa of Ávila, or a Guardian Angel — and each one landed like a gift from Heaven. The ministry took considerably longer that evening because these small tokens genuinely ministered to the people of Skid Row.

A young man named David was so moved that he could not stop kissing the hand of the one who gave him his medal. The team was short-handed that night — only Robert and John — which added time to distributing the meals, but also added depth to every encounter.

Toward the end of the route, the team came across a group of high-school-age young men accompanied by two older chaperones. Something was off: they were wandering around, almost gawking — not interacting with anyone, not offering anything. One of the chaperones explained that they were a hockey team from San Jose, and he had brought the boys to experience Skid Row firsthand.

This must be said plainly, and with charity: Skid Row is not a field trip destination. It is not a sideshow. The men and women who live there are human beings made in the image and likeness of God — not an exhibit. If a group has nothing to offer — no food, no prayer, no presence of service — then showing up only to observe is a disruption to those already living in deplorable conditions. It is, at its core, a failure of dignity. Anyone wishing to bring young people face-to-face with poverty should come prepared to serve, or not come at all.

From Skid Row to the Tamale Party

A Tale of Two Cities, One Tear, and a Trophy

Part One: The Toilets of Paris and Los Angeles

Cleanliness, Dignity, and the Streets of the City of Angels

Did you know that Paris, France and Skid Row have something in common? The same style of public restrooms found in Paris are now used in Los Angeles. Having used the ones in Paris firsthand, the impression was immediate — modern, self-cleaning, genuinely beautiful public facilities. It was equally remarkable when they first appeared on Skid Row a few years ago. In the City of Angels, it costs fifty cents to use these facilities. Sadly, some have since been removed due to misuse — drug activity and other illicit behaviors that made them unsafe and unsustainable.

Part Two: Watch Your Step

The Weight of What Is Left Behind

With the number of dog owners living on Skid Row, one must watch every step carefully — the streets are not forgiving. The homeless population is often unable — or in some cases unwilling — to manage waste of any kind, and it finds its way into the streets. That is why, on nearly every block, volunteers can be found cleaning up the debris left behind.

Part Three: A Tear from Heaven

When a Drop Is Enough

The heart is heavy every time the streets of Los Angeles are left behind — because so much more needs to be done. The ministry is just a tiny drop in an endless sea of need. But this time, that drop felt like something more. It felt like a tear from Heaven — a sign that God sees, that God weeps, and that God is not finished with these streets or these people.

Praying we could always do more.

Part Four: The Tamale Party

Six-Time Champion and a Trophy Moment Gone Wrong

The Tamale Party was a tremendous success — and once again, best friend Helen took home the trophy for the sixth time. It was pointed out, by daughter Sonja, that the manner of presenting the trophy was perhaps a bit abrupt. And to make matters worse, the camera never came out for the crowning moment — no photo of Helen holding her hard-earned trophy.

To all the Tamale Party guests: sincere apologies. To Helen: congratulations — but consider this fair warning. Next year, you are going down.

Did you know that Paris, France and Skid Row have something in common? The same public toilets in Paris are used in Los Angeles. I used the ones in Paris and they are modern self cleaning beautiful public restrooms. I was amazed when they were first introduced to Skid Row a few years back. It cost fifty cents to use these facilities in the city of Angeles. We have noticed that some have been removed due to abuse of the homeless population, using drugs and other illicit behaviors.

With all the dog owners on Skid Row you really need to watch your step or you could be stepping into a pile of dog excrement. The homeless are careless with any type of waste and it usually ends up in the streets, that is way on almost every street there are volunteers cleaning up the debris.

My heart is sad when we leave the streets of L.A. because much more needs to be done to improve these conditions. We are just a tiny drop in in this endless sea of dissension but this time I felt the drop was a tear from heaven… praying we could do more.

The Tamale Party was a huge success with my best friend Helen winning for the 6th time. I was told by my daughter Sonja that my manner of presenting the trophy was abrupt. I forgot to take a picture of the climax of the party with Helen holding the trophy. To all the Tamale Party guest my apologies and to Helen congratulations but watch out next year you are going down!

May the God of us all bestow on you and your families a Blessed Christmas and may your New Year be filled with His Love!