One of the most complex spiritual subjects is purgatory. The word “purgatory” is not mentioned in the Bible, but there are several Bible Scriptures that guide us to believe that we must be purged of all of our sins before entering into the presence of God.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that:1031. “The Church gives the name Purgatory to this final purification of the elect, which is entirely different from the punishment of the damned. [Cf. Council of Florence (1439): DS 1304; Council of Trent (1563): DS 1820; (1547): 1580; see also Benedict XII, Benedictus Deus (1336): DS 1000.] The Church formulated her doctrine of faith on Purgatory especially at the Councils of Florence and Trent. The tradition of the Church, by reference to certain texts of Scripture, speaks of a cleansing fire. [Cf. 1 Cor 3:15; 1 Pet 1:7.] As for certain lesser faults, we must believe that, before the Final Judgment, there is a purifying fire.”

In other words, we as Catholics believe that there is a place of purification before entering heaven. We also believe that the purification process involves pain. Lastly, we believe that prayer from those on earth can assist those who are going through the purification. Those who are in purgatory will be saved but only by going through the fire of purging their sins.  Nothing unholy can enter into the Kingdom of God.

The Dreams

I had a dream about my sister Myra. I remember the dream vividly. My other sister Jo and I were getting Myra ready for her wedding. Both Jo and I were fussing over her dress to make sure that the fit was perfect. When I woke up from the dream, I did not understand its meaning.  It had been seven years since Myra had passed away and she had never been married. I journaled the dream and wondered what it meant. I prayed for the repose of Myra’s soul, but not with a lot of intensity. Purgatory was something that I did not fully understand.

In the Word of God, Jesus is referred to as the Bridegroom. In Myra’s case, I believe that the Lord gave me an insight into her spiritual crossing from purgatory into heaven. The Lord was showing me that Myra was being adorned to meet her bridegroom Jesus, and Jo and I were helping her prepare for the marriage.

The Bible speaks about when we get to heaven that our bodies will be perfect. This is another dream that I had about a dear friend’s son. Victor died a week after Myra. He suffered from pancreatic cancer. I had this dream about five years ago. The dream setting was in an auditorium with theater-type seating, I was sitting toward the back.  In the dream Victor was on stage; the odd thing about this was that he was shirtless. His body was perfectly chiseled, like someone who regularly works out. This did not fit Victor’s normal physical appearance. Michael, Victor’s brother, walked in and sat next to me. We were both in awe as we watched Victor on stage. Michael asked me, “Is that really Victor?” “Yes,” I answered. Victor was receiving some type of special reward.

Why did the Lord entrust me with this dream? I believe that Victor’s mother needed special comfort and assurance that her son was now with the Lord. As Catholics we have opportunities to offer up Masses for the repose of the souls of the dearly departed.

Mike and I are regulars at the 8:00 a.m. Mass at St. Norbert Parish. There are two young men who are also regulars: one reminds me of a friend’s son, and the other looks like a nephew of ours that passed away a few years ago. I mention these two men because I feel that I am to say a prayer for the first man and for the second man, because he resembles our nephew.  Seeing this man reminds me to pray for the repose of our nephew’s soul.

This dream is loaded with symbolism: the pie represents pie-in-the sky, one of the delicious desserts you will receive in heaven. The flowy, chiffon dress is heavenly clothing; and the blue sash is what our Blessed Mother has worn in many of her apparitions. Her dancing represents the joy of being in heaven. To me this dream means that our mother was purified and is now in the presence of God.

Mike is the most organized man in the world. He filed away our wedding certificate before I could see it. When I pulled it out of the file, it was strange to see my maiden name as my full name. It’s finally official; the Sacrament of Marriage is now in the books for us!

My nephew Torie said he saw a vision of my mother as Mikos walked me down the aisle. This was my mother’s desire, to see me get married in the church. I received this vision as a blessing from my mom. I believed she was smiling down on us.

On Sunday after the wedding, we were busy entertaining out-of-town guests, so I missed Mass. As much as I tried to justify my reason for missing Mass, I felt unfulfilled. Going to breakfast and shopping is not an acceptable reason to miss Mass. With this in my heart, I felt culpability and needed to go to confession. I always understood that missing Mass on Sunday was a mortal sin. Many would disagree with this statement, but I felt that in some way I let the Lord down. I googled “is missing Mass on Sunday a sin?” and the best answer came from an article written by Father Kenneth Doyle:

“The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that teaching clearly in No. 2181: “The Sunday Eucharist is the foundation and confirmation of all Christian practice. For this reason, the faithful are obliged to participate in the Eucharist on days of obligation, unless excused for a serious reason (for example, illness, the care of infants). Those who deliberately fail in this obligation commit a grave sin.”

As several of us were in line for confession, I told the young man who was in line after me that I was only going to take a minute. The visiting priest was kind and understanding; he quickly absolved me of my indiscretions.

Fifty Years

During the lockdown we decided to remodel our living room. This would be the third time to reupholster our couch and chairs. For the money we ended up spending we could have purchased new furniture. In life you keep what is good quality and if you take care of it, it will last a lifetime. Our marriage has gone through different phases and when our relationship needed to be renewed, we’d picked out the fabric together. For our marriage to last 50 years, it had to be Christ-centered. I am a strong-willed woman, and Mike is a stern man who is always looking to the future. I live for the day. When God brought us together it was because we needed balance.

We Walk Together

It took years of prayer for me to understand that I was not in control of Mike’s spiritual journey. It was painful to attend church alone, and my impatience got the best of me. Through growing in Christ, I finally understood that our relationship with God is personal, and God works with us individually. My immature attitude as a babe in Christ hindered Mike’s walk. When I finally got the wake-up call from God, I learned to step aside and allow the Holy Spirit to gently move in. That was not an easy task because I like to be in control.

The Makeover

I love antiques and when I first noticed that our dining room table with matching hutch had some type of wood eating weevil, I ignored it. For years I ignored it. Again, during the lockdown I noticed that the furniture was infested with bugs. The dormant weevils had taken over, and the damage had spread to all the chairs. We needed to make another decision: to invest in having the furniture treated or to get rid of it. This, too, is like a marriage with a serious problem. If you ignore the important matters in a marriage, the problem becomes out-of-control. Just like our antiques, it spreads to other pieces of furniture. Again, it was a big expense to have the furniture fumigated, but it was worth saving.

Save Your Marriage

If God can forgive a murdering adulterer like David, He can forgive you. If your marriage is infested with sin, God can repair it. It took an extra powerful fumigation agent to kill the weevils in our furniture because the problem was deep within the wood. Sin that is deep within the soul can be removed.

The Honeymoon

The honeymoon was postponed because of a medical procedure. Due to my severe case of COVID I developed a type of bacteria in my gut. When the Devil unleashed this pandemic on us, he wanted to be certain that if we survived it was going to be a battle. This upper GI procedure will give me and the doctors better insight (literally) as to what is causing the problem. This all comes with being a senior bride; therefore, my medical concerns preempted our honeymoon plans.

Mike has made all the arrangements for our stay in Santa Barbara. We have a deep connection to this city; both of our children were born there, and we still own a home about a block-and-a-half from Leadbetter Beach. I cried for weeks when we sold our first home in Santa Barbara and moved to Whittier. For years Mike would beg me to move back, but we made our roots in Orange County. I would never leave my family, and we have a lot of stability here. My church and my friends are here plus we are only20 minutes from the beach. Maybe we will retire to Santa Barbara some day.

My Prayer

Dear Lord, help us to trust in You for all of our relationships, especially our marriages. Even through the dark valleys, show us Your light to find a way. Make us better examples to help those who are lost or feel abandoned in their marriages. Amen.

There was only one priority for me when it came to our wedding. I wanted the Mass and the music to touch the hearts of our guest. Our parish at St. Norbert is anointed in many ways; we have one of the best music directors and some of the best cantors. I met with John, the music director to discuss the selections of songs,  and with his direction we were able to put together the most beautiful program for the ceremony. I never told Mike until the night before the wedding that I had hired a trumpeter for the service. I knew from the start that the trumpet would make all the difference, and I wanted to surprise him. It was amazing, and the cantor, Jonathan, singing opened our sense of hearing through his powerful voice. Click her for a short video IMG_7689

Father Moneypenny

We are so blessed to have Father Moneypenny as our pastor, he brings love and unity to our community. I remember once I had a meeting with him about an important matter and when it came time for me to register a complaint about something, it was meaningless and petty  because he was so kind and understanding. My problem was solved by his words of wisdom and he put my humility in check. It was an honor to have him be part of our Nuptial Mass.

The COVID Jinx

Mike had warned me that COVID would have an impact on the number of people attending, but I did not take it too seriously. His big concern was me not being around large crowds and to stay COVID free. On Monday, the week of the wedding, I was feeling sick. I had this unusual pain in my chest and thought for sure it was Omicron. I overdosed on extra strength aspirins and chased it with  a couple of swigs of honey-flavored cough medicine, then I popped a cold medicine/cough drop in my mouth. When morning arrived I was still not well. I did not attend Mass for two days for fear of spreading the ghost virus. I kept this little battle private  and prayed over myself for a quick healing. I was experiencing an unnatural fear and was stressing over the fact that I could have COVID. Even though Mike suggested that I take a test right before the wedding, I wanted nothing to do with this. I continued with the regime of over-the-counter drugs believing that God would see me through. Finally, on Thursday it was lifted and I felt great.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

My sister Norma never rallied and was unable to travel due to a bad case of COVID (she was fully vaccinated). With all the prayers going forth for her recovery, it was not meant to be. I tried my best to occupy my mind on the good and concentrated on praying for all that had responded “yes” to attend. I knew under normal circumstances that my brother George and his wife Mary would attend but he too came down with COVID (also fully vaccinated).

I was excited to see Torie, Stacie, Rocky and his fiancé Angela, and my sister Jo. The atmosphere of the Omicron was swirling everywhere and there was an outbreak in the school where Torie and Stacie’s children attend. Then I got the call about the change of plans. They decided to bring all three of their kids. Jo, also had added two of her grandchildren and her son Nick was also attending. At this point with all the cancellations, their neighbors would have been welcomed as well. My sister Jo and I quickly bonded to an other level of sisterhood and I thank God that she was there to support us.

On the morning of the wedding, while Sarah was doing my hair, I got a call from one of my nephews about his daughter hurting her shoulder and that they were on the way to the hospital.  Then came a text for yet  another cancellation due to COVID. I wanted so badly to text back “So you woke up with COVID this morning?” There were other text messages that really upset me like, “We were exposed to COVID over the weekend, so we’re not going to make it to the wedding.” News flash! The moment you walk out your door, your exposed!! I was very upset with this news and dropped an “F” bomb, well maybe several. Sarah gently led me off the cliff by grabbing my phone. When I finally calmed down the thought came to me that I could not get married in this state of mind. I called Fr. Leonard and asked him if I could go to confession before the service. While the musicians were tuning up their instruments I was confessing for my foul mouth.

Father Leonard Mary

If you are are regular  reader of this Blog, by now you know the relationship Mike and I have with this holy man of God. Father Leonard, is not only our friend but also like a son to us. He has been through many of our trials and blessed times. He has been part of our lives for over twenty-five years. Both Mike and I wanted him to officiate our special day. Father’s part was especially important because he knows us personally. He belongs to the order of the Franciscan Missionaries of the Eternal Word. You can catch him on television on a regular basis. EWTN is a global Catholic network  on Spectrum  it’s on Channel 460.

The Reception

On a clear beautiful day, over looking Orange County, the sunset outlined Catalina Island for us as we stood out to look at His glorious creation. Orange County Mining Company provided the best service, and the food was excellent,  DJ, Eddie was on target with the music. I loved watching my grandchildren dance, Wil, Lucas, and Jake were so adorable. If I were giving out awards, Maddie would have gotten it for best dancer.  And to the best dressed Torie wins hands down. What a magical night! Thank you brother Mike, Rong, Nadia, Michael and to my cousin Nellie, Danny and Maggita, it was wonderful to see you.

My prayer

Dear Lord, I thank You for all Your wonderful provisions. From the Mass to the reception all was perfect, including the weather. Thank you to all who traveled from long distances to attend our blessed event. May You continue to guide us in all that we do. Thank You, Lord, for always watching over us. Amen.