My Heart of the Matter

The Lopez Gathering

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 We meet again.

The Decision

To be perfectly honest, attending the reunion was never really on my radar. The reason? Unresolved tensions between me and my younger sister. Our hearts were still wounded, and we both needed more time to work through our differences.

The Funeral

When I heard my sister would be at Tia Maria’s funeral, I felt a little apprehensive. Not knowing what to expect, I prayed a rosary on the way to the service. But the moment our eyes met, we both just knew — everything was settled. We embraced, and just like that, the Enemy’s plans crumbled.

My beautiful nieces, Lee, Nadia, me, Maya and Reina
Bella, Eli, Maggie, me, Norma Jacob and Mario
Baby Gabriel, Maggie, Bella, Reina, Maya, Nadia, me, Mike, Norma, Mario and Gabriel

The Reunion

After speaking with several cousins, their case for the reunion started making a lot more sense. Mike and I talked it over and made the decision to go.

Mary, me and Gina
Nellie, Norma and me

Cousin Nellie

Growing up, I was always the odd one out. My siblings each had cousins their age — but not me. The younger cousins thought I was too old, and the older ones thought I was too young. My cousin Ricky was my age, but he’s a boy. So for my entire life, Nellie has been my younger sister Norma’s best friend — and whenever we’re all together, I’m treated like chopped liver.

Nellie and I are cut from the same cloth. We’re both leaders, and we’re always not so quietly competing for Norma’s affection. Norma, for her part, absolutely relishes every bit of the attention. So when the three of us get together, it turns into a hilarious performance — the child in each of us rising right to the surface.

Organizing the Event

The Lord gave Nellie special graces to pull off this event. From the draped chairs tied with yellow bows to the dinner itself, every detail was arranged with genuine love. The planning even included a beautiful ancestry board and a display honoring the family members no longer with us.

The Opening Prayer

We are a God-fearing family, and inviting the Lord to bless our reunion was the only way to properly start the celebration. With God in our midst, we all know and feel His love. Thank you, cousin Eric, for the wonderful prayer. When we pray, the peace of God surrounds us.

There is nothing more festive than the sound of a Mariachi band playing “El Son de la Negra.” That tune never fails to remind me of our upbringing. Our mothers loved Mariachi music, and as much as I hate to admit it, they brought a special joy to every celebration. I still can’t believe Nellie pulled off hiring the Mariachis — how she managed to secure the extra funding for such a large group was truly impressive.

The Mariachi
Brother George and my niece Gina
Brother Mike and Angie

My Brothers

I thank the Lord for my brothers. What joy it was to see George, Mike, and their families. My brothers are always a source of great wisdom and advice for our family. But the best surprise of all was getting to visit with my sister-in-law Angie — it had been years since we last saw each other.

Leah, Roxie, and Maggita

The Sorta Karaoke

Nellie had a not-so-brilliant idea: lip sync to The Supremes’ “Stop! In the Name of Love.” I was immediately in, and so was Norma — though we had to do a little convincing to get the other Nellie on board. If it hasn’t been mentioned, there are five cousins named Nellie, all named after our grandmother Manuela — Nellie for short. There was just one big problem: we all thought we knew the song, but in reality, we only knew the chorus. It was a disaster before we even got started. We did our best and saved face by getting very animated whenever the chorus came around.

The Vasquez Family
Cecilia’s Family

The Dance Contest

We had a dance contest to Chubby Checker’s “The Twist.” At one time in my life I could really shake a leg, and “The Twist” was a no-brainer. I carefully selected Nellie’s daughter Maggita as my partner for two reasons: she is a great dancer, and her mother happened to be the main judge. Something very unusual happened to me that night — my upper body was twisting, but my feet were cemented to the dance floor. We were quickly eliminated, but whether from disbelief or sheer confidence that we were the champions, we refused to leave the dance floor. We quickly declared ourselves the winners.

Saint Francis of Assisi

Mass

The following morning, Mike and I attended Mass at Saint Francis of Assisi in La Quinta. This beautiful church is designed to mirror the Basilica of Saint Francis of Assisi in Italy and is stunningly set against the majestic Santa Rosa Mountains.

Nellie, Norma, me and Bella

Breakfast

A large group of us — as many as 40 — gathered for breakfast. Nellie instructed us to keep tabs on our own meals and pay our share when the check arrived. Our share, tip included, came to a little over $60 for just the two of us. As we finished our meals, the Lord placed it on my brother Eric’s heart to pick up the entire tab. What a blessing for us all. Eric is my half-brother — he and his family live in Washington State.

Gloria, my brother Eric, Little Roxie, Roxie and Maggita
Mike heading the coup

President for Life

It has been official for years now — I am the President of the Lopez Family. So what if it is a self-appointed office; I have humbly accepted the role. At every gathering there is always a coup, my husband Mike included, attempting to take over my position — but in the end… I will always be the President for Life!

My Prayer

Dear Lord, thank You for the legacy of the Lopez family. May You continue to guide us on the path You have chosen for us. May we always seek Your holy face. Amen.

 

 

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My Heart of the Matter

A Mother’s Role

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with my grandchildren

Every one of us has a mother. And as mothers, our role in life is to pray for our children and pour ourselves into nurturing them.

Not The Same

There’s a phrase that has never quite sat right: “I love all my children the same.” The truth is, loving children the same is simply not possible — because each one is uniquely and irreplaceably different.

From the moment God gifted us with our children, it was clear just how different they truly were. Our son is easygoing, laid-back, and steady. Our daughter is more complex — deeper in ways that required more of us. Because of that, the rules we set for her were a little more strict, not out of favoritism, but out of protection. She needed that structure, and honestly, it served her well. She is the most organized person I know — and trust me, she did not get that from me. Without bragging, our daughter is just a beautiful example of what a nurturing mother is meant to be.

Our son, on the other hand, had a natural gift for finding the edge of every boundary we set. We had to constantly stay on our toes and adapt as he grew. He kept us on our knees — and that was probably exactly where God wanted us.

Through every bump along the way, God’s hand was molding our son into the wonderful man he has become.

Sonja, me and Jenny
The original family: Sonja, me, Mike and Mikos

Neither of them was perfect. But then again, neither were we. What we never did was give up on discipline.

Parenting Our Children

As parents, we fought. We disagreed. We went back and forth more times than we can count. But eventually, we always found our way to a consensus — and the most important thing we learned was this: we had to be a united front. That unity was not just strategy. It was the foundation our children needed to stand on.

My Example

I thought of all that my mother had to go through as a single parent. She had seven children, and what she accomplished with us was an amazing task. My father was rarely around for most of my childhood. In the first five years of my parents’ marriage, they had five children — one each year!

By the time I came around, there was a three-year span, and when the youngest was born, another three years. I marvel when I think of how our mother raised us — how she planned our meals and washed mounds and mounds of clothes. There were no clothes dryers back then; we had clotheslines instead. My mother’s life was not easy, but we never knew we were lacking, because she taught us to appreciate what we had.

The Sacrifices

I was born with amblyopia in my right eye, and I can still remember my mother taking me on a Greyhound bus to see a specialist in San Diego, CA. When I was five years old, my mother arranged for me to have surgery, and she stayed at the hospital the entire time. I was prescribed special sunglasses to wear, but my brother accidentally sat on them the following week. The broken glasses were never replaced because it was too much of a hardship for my mother to return to San Diego.

Single Mothers

I think of all single mothers and what they must sacrifice to do what our mother did — especially single working mothers. They are the heroes of the world! Our mother was in her late thirties when our father checked out. She never dated because she understood her role as an example to us, especially to her daughters. She was decent in every sense and wanted us to follow suit.

The Fifth Commandment in the Bible states to “honor your father and your mother.” Some moms are not the greatest of mothers and are difficult to honor, let alone love. This is the only commandment that comes with a promise.

Honoring Your Mother

Why and how do you honor a flawed mother?

Every mother is human. Some never had a good role model themselves. Some were ill-equipped to love the way a mother should. But here is the truth — it does not matter what kind of background your mother came from, or how deeply she may have hurt you. God is not making a suggestion. He is giving a command: honor your mother.

The word honor means high respect and great esteem. At the very least, she gave you life. And for that alone, gratitude is owed. Even when the relationship is painful or strained, never stop trying. When you choose to honor your mother, you are not just obeying a commandment — you are learning one of the greatest values life has to offer. Because if you cannot learn to honor her, something in love itself will always be missing.

We all need to understand what love truly represents. There is nothing greater than a mother’s love for her child — and even a mother who is broken, difficult, or dysfunctional still deserves to be honored. God made this a commandment precisely because He knew parents would fall short. He knew it would not always be easy. He commanded it anyway.

Mother’s Day

This Mother’s Day was truly wonderful.

Mike made the most incredible prime rib — perfectly complemented by baked potatoes and green beans. Jenny brought her famous salad, and Sonja baked the most delicious lemon cake. But the best part of all was simply having the entire family together under one roof. Nothing gladdens a mother’s heart quite like peace in the family.

That’s us taking up ten seats
Junk food in hand, we’re ready!

And I have to say — all the help cleaning up the kitchen afterward was its own kind of gift.

Prayer

After Mass, between catnaps, prayer carried me through the entire day. There was something beautiful about lifting the whole celebration up to the Lord and trusting Him with it. We had planned to eat early since everyone had tickets to see The Devil Wears Prada 2 later that evening. The movie was surprisingly entertaining — but the best part, without question, was simply being together.

My Prayer

Dear Lord, I pray for all mothers today. Help us to follow the example of the greatest role model we have ever been given — Mother Mary. Please bless every mother, especially those who are estranged from their children. Jesus, bring unity to all hurting families. Amen.

 

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My Heart of the Matter

Tutorial On The Body of Christ

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St. Teresa of Calcutta

I’m sharing this story for those who need a deeper understanding of the Eucharist.

 

When Mike and I were a young married couple, we once attended Mass at St. John Eudes in Chatsworth, California. We had not been to Mass in a while, yet one thing remained unforgettable: the overwhelming  joy I felt after I received Communion. The  sensation was profound, and though I lacked the spiritual maturity to comprehend what was truly happening, I was receiving the Body of Christ Himself. For years, I carried that memory of joy without truly understanding its source. But as I slowly returned to my Catholic roots, the meaning became clear: what had been missing from my life all along was not merely a feeling, but the Eucharist – the presence of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament.

St. Teresa of Calcutta

“Whenever I go in the world, the thing that makes me the saddest is people receive Communion in the hand.” St. Teresa of Calcutta

When reminded of this quote, a clear memory surfaced – standing in Paris at Notre Dame Cathedral during holy Mass. A nun from the Order of Saint Teresa of Calcutta was helping distribute Holy Communion. As my hands were extended to receive, she gave them a firm – though not gentle –  tap, then lightly touched my cheek, signaling that Our Lord was to be received on the tongue rather than the hand.

At the time, no second thought was given to it. It was only a few weeks ago, after making the personal decision to receive Holy Communion on my tongue, that the quiet, wordless lesson that little nun was teaching finally became clear.


The Novice Eucharistic Minister

To serve as a Eucharistic Minister (EM) requires training – a brief tutorial on positioning, words, and how to properly distribute. I thought it would be simple. I was wrong.

The first time I stood at the altar, I felt inadequate. Every eye seemed to be fixed on me, scrutinizing my every movement. As a  communicant approached with mouth opened and tongue extended, fear gripped me. What if I touch her tongue? What if the Host fell short of her mouth? My anxiety proved prophetic; during my first week, I dropped a consecrated wafer and it fell on the floor.

Thank the good Lord, the lady picked it up immediately and consumed it herself. I was mortified! Our training had taught us to handle the dropped Host with reverence, but in that moment I froze. When it happened again, I quickly retrieved the Host, held it carefully in my hand, and after distributing to the remaining communicants, brought it to the priest and explained.  He took it reverently and consumed it.

The Lesson

I learned a powerful lesson: the reverence belongs to the Lord.

Sacred Responsibility 

Six years later I continue to serving as a Eucharistic Minister. With each week, confidence has grown – not in my technique, but in the sacred responsibility itself.

Our parish serves both the parish community and an attached Catholic school, so I minister multiple times weekly, often to our young students. What began as a fear has become a privilege.

Not  Again

Several years ago, while distributing Communion to a student, I noticed a small particle of the Host fall to the floor. My heart began to race – not from embarrassment but from the weight of what had happened.

I couldn’t simply pick it up because the altar was surrounded by people, and I didn’t want to disturb their communion with Christ. But my mind was crazed with worry. What if someone stepped on it? What if I lost it entirely? My eyes remained fixed on that spot for the next several minutes. I was a wreck!

After Mass, as I was still watching that area, Alan, one of the sacristans, approached me and asked what I was looking for. I explained that I’d seen a particle fall during distribution. Together we searched the floor. I found something small and, in a moment of reverence – or perhaps because I was looking too hard – placed it in my mouth, genuflected, and walked away.

Something was immediately wrong.

Whatever I placed in my mouth did not dissolve like the Eucharist. It had a grainy, almost fibrous texture –  like a fingernail or toenail. As I exited the church my stomach churned. Gagging, I placed the object in my pocket to investigate it further.

At home the horrible truth became clear: it was indeed someone’s discarded toenail!

Transubstantiation

Transubstantiation is the Catholic core belief that the bread and wine used for Communion become the Body and Blood of Christ. That’s why I experienced such joy when receiving Communion at St. John Eudes. It was the Body and Blood of Christ!

In a recent Pew survey, it was discovered that 69% of Catholics do not understand nor believe the holy concept of transubstantiation. These Catholics are under the fallacy that the Body and Blood of Christ is merely a symbol. I am happy to report that I am one of  the 31 % who believe in transubstantiation.

The Reverence 

After experiencing the mishaps, I investigated the proper protocol for when one accidentally drops the Eucharist, so I could be better prepared. According to the General Instruction of the Roman Missal #280:

  1. Priest and Eucharistic ministers must be extremely alert during the distribution of the Holy Communion, ensuring that the recipient consumes the sacred Host immediately and retrieving it if an accident occurs.
  2. When receiving Holy Communion, a recipient must extend his or her tongue sufficiently so that the sacred Host may be placed securely on it, or make a proper cup with his or her hands to receive it securely. The recipient should then step aside while still facing the altar and consume the sacred Host before returning to the pew. I always practice this, even before realizing it was part of the official rules.
  3. If the sacred Host falls to the floor, or even a piece of it, it should be retrieved and given to the priest at an appropriate time – such as the end of communion when the priest is preparing to purify the vessel. The Eucharistic minister can also consume the Host if it has fallen on the floor.

What I found particularly interesting is this: if the Host that has fallen on the floor is too soiled to consume, it should be placed in water until it dissolves. The water is then discarded into a special drain that does not feed into the sewer system, but rather disperses into the ground.

My Prayer

Dear Lord, continue to shed light on our crazy world. May Your Holy Spirit open the hearts of those who do not understand that it is truly Your Body in the Eucharist. May we fall on our knees in reverence to Your Holy Presence. Amen.

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