A Mother’s Two Sense

I named her Hadassah, and from a careful distance I took several pictures of the soon-to-be mother.  Mike rescheduled the house painting but forgot about Hadassah. The tree trimmer showed up during our dinner (we eat early).  I had just swallowed a bite of my dinner when I looked out the kitchen window and saw Mike motioning to the tree trimmers about the bougainvillea. I waited until the tree guy left and explained to Mike that we could not allow the hummingbird’s nest to be destroyed. We changed all our plans because this little mama was going to hatch some tiny mini-hummingbirds. I was delighted that Mike agreed to protect the mama bird.

As a mother of two grown adults, I will drop everything if my kids need me. I am constantly praying for my family and they both know they can come to me, especially for spiritual guidance. Of course by that I mean in a Christian sense, with God as my guide. Whenever they have something heavy on their hearts, I direct them to the Bible for answers. I no longer take the initiative and give definite answers without praying first. I’m very guarded about this because I have learned the hard way. If you respond, without prayer guidance, and if it does not workout you deserve the blame.  Mothers have a burden for their children, no matter what age they are; we are spiritually connected to them forever. The Holy Spirit always reveals to us moms when or kids are hurting.

A mother is spiritually connected to her children for the rest of their lives. I don’t care how old your child is, you will always have that bond. I was never an overprotective “helicopter mom” because both of our children were too strong-willed to put up with that behavior. I had to use the back roads to find out what our kids were up to. One of my famous tactics was to snoop in their rooms. If they were up to no good, I was going to find out. This was the time that I was vacillating from one Christian church to another. I felt that I was being led by God.  Boy, was I wrong about that! During this time I had to learn to trust God and pray. Sometimes I not only prayed up a storm but a hurricane. That’s all I knew to do. God was slowly developing me into a matriarch and my backbone was finally being formed.

I became a prayer warrior. Two things happen when your kids go sideways: 1. You go into battle for them; and 2. you give in and watch them fall into the abyss of life. When a mother prays, things happen in the atmosphere. Her prayers reach the throne of God. It’s the bond that connects a mother and child because the mother will forever pray for that child. When a mother prays, she does not look at the situation as the world does; but she  sees her child whole. Saint Monica never stopped praying for her son St. Augustine. He would never have become one of the greatest bishops, let alone a saint in the Roman Catholic Church. God has a plan for all of our children, and a mother’s job is to pray it through (Jeremiah 1:5). Our work is never complete because they will always need our prayers. I thank God that He directed us to the proper therapist to help us with our kids because I needed help as well. These actions were all led by prayer.

Helicopter moms are well-meaning, but they do not understand the damage they are causing. Forcing your kids to join clubs so that it will look good on transcripts is not teaching your child to be a volunteer. Teach your child to love God first and everything else will fall into place. For years we made sandwiches for Skid Row in my home. A young man helped out just one time, but it was one of the few times I took a photograph. Years later I posted the photo on Facebook. By this time the young man was filling out college applications, so his mother called me and wanted me to state that he was a regular volunteer. I told her that I would not lie, but clearly she could. Helicopter moms take drastic measures to see that their kids don’t miss out. They push their kids to the edge of a high cliff and wonder why they fall. Look at the mess those Hollywood parents got themselves into. They got caught, but I guarantee there are other parents who are still using back doors to get their kids into the finest colleges. It never pays to lie. One thing will always remain true: lies are always exposed, and the truth still sets us free.

Grandmothers are seasoned mothers. When our children get married, we must cut the cord. The Bible does not say that a mother and child become one, but it does state that a husband and wife become one. We may not always agree about how our grandchildren are being raised, but my advice is to leave the parenting to the parents (I’m still learning that). Mike has kept me from so many confrontations with our grown children about their parenting. He is my filter. Many times I have said, “Can you believe your son/daughter?” Mike’s words are always the same, “Leave it alone.” He’s right. I want to become the grandmother who leaves behind the legacy of a prayer warrior. I want my grandchildren to understand that they, too, are part of my everyday prayers. Part of my raison d’être in life is to pray for my family. I am a normal mom who loves her family. Hadassah loves her family too.