The Funeral And Confirmation
Our beloved Tia Maria, who graced this world for a century, has been called home to the Lord.
Tia Maria
Over the years, visiting my tia became a cherished routine. She was the last of the Lopez family on our mother’s side. My cousin Delia and I faithfully continued our visits even when Tia Maria was hospitalized. I hold dear the many humorous stories she shared from her younger days.
My tia had a green thumb, she grew the best lemons and pomegranates. She introduced me to peanut brittle; when I was a child she made a homemade batch, and it was surprisingly delicious. I will never forget the time that our aunt came with bags filled with groceries; she answered our mother’s prayers that day.
When I was in my first year of college I got this crazy notion to color my long, beautiful brown hair black. Mother was displeased with my decision, but my aunt helped me dye my hair jet black.
The Service
The memorial service at St. Kateri Tekakwitha Catholic Church provided a comforting sense of peace, knowing that Tia Maria received a beautiful blessing before her family. After the service, we gathered for lunch at the home of Ricky (Tia Maria son) daughter’s in Beaumont. Mike and I were on a tight schedule, as we needed to return home for Confirmation rehearsals.
Coming from a family of ten, my mother ensured I had many cousins, with the girls outnumbering the boys in nearly every branch of the family. Needless to say, we had plenty of catching up to do! From there we met up with my brother George and his family, my sister Norma and Maggie her daughter, cousins Nellie and Roxie at Sizzler’s. What a joy to break bread with my family!
The Rehearsal
Even with the calendar marked and times double-checked, I somehow managed to mix it all up. Mike and I found ourselves hurrying to make it to a four o’clock practice, which, in reality, was scheduled for six! When I arrived at the church, I discovered I was the only one there. It turns out I hadn’t read the full text message, which clearly stated “four o’clock tomorrow.” So, I decided to make the most of the unexpected free time by having coffee with friends.
The Sponsors
Both Mike and I had the honor of being sponsors. Our grandson Lucas asked his grandfather to sponsor him, while Cael, one of Lucas’ close friends, chose me. Being a sponsor means guiding and praying for the candidates, a role I cherish deeply. I’ve sponsored others in the past; even though they’ve moved away and we don’t keep in touch, my prayers for them remain unwavering.
One More
As Confirmation day drew near, one of my students, Alice, approached me, asking if I would be her sponsor. Having taught her for two years, it was a joy to say “yes.” Thank God for the rehearsal—between my dyslexia and needing to coordinate two confirmations, I was a bit flustered. But it’s all part of the journey, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to support and guide these beautiful souls.
The Mass
The Confirmation Mass was led by Bishop Timothy Fryer. With his miter and shepherd staff, the Bishop’s grand entrance brought us to our feet. We were all sprinkled with holy water to remind us of our Baptism. Soon the church was filled with incense, representing our prayers being received in heaven.
Revelation 8:3-4 New American Bible (Revised Edition)
Chrism Oil
It was time to go up for the anointing of the chrism oil. The chrism, perfumed oil, is consecrated by the bishop. As we walk up to the altar with our candidates, our right hand is placed on the candidate’s right shoulder. Then the Bishop anoints each candidate personally while saying their saint’s name. The candidates chose saints’ names of those they want to emulate or have a special connection. Lucas chose Clement of Rome, Cael chose St. Norbert and Alice took St. Bridget of Kildare.
This part of the ceremony is sacred because the power of the Holy Spirit seals the candidate to Christ.
Why Saints’ Names?
Choosing a saint’s name is Scriptural; Abram’s name was changed to Abraham, which means “father of a multitude” (Gen. 17:1-5). God changed Jacob’s name to Israel, meaning “he strikes with God” (Gen. 32:24-32; Rom. 4:16). Simon also received a new name Peter “rock” (John 1:42). Peter was our first Pope.
Saint Margaret of Scotland
I was 11 years-old when receiving the Sacrament of Confirmation. My mother helped me choose a saint, and since my grandmother bore the name Margarita, we settled on Saint Margaret. It wasn’t until we renewed our wedding vows in 2022 that I needed my Confirmation certificate, which brought back memories of Saint Margaret. As I read about her life, particularly her deep commitment to feeding the poor, I understood the profound connection to my chosen saint. For two decades I led a ministry to the homeless. Each month we ventured to Skid Row in Los Angeles carrying 300 lunches to nourish both body and spirit through food and prayer.
Mikos’ Birthday
Mikos’ birthday coincided with Confirmation day. Though an invitation to dine with the bishop was extended to all teachers, my heart chose to celebrate with family. We gathered at our favorite Chinese restaurant, Yang Mings. Because my son has reached the age of 53, I am blessed with 73 years of life!
Dick’s Sporting Goods
On a different note, a challenge arose with a treadmill from Dick’s Sporting Goods. Despite having 854 stores and over 50,100 employees, we faced a month-long ordeal of corporate blunders, with no one willing to solve the dilemma. The treadmill, delivered by two men who spoke neither English nor Spanish, failed from the outset. Following the Confirmation, we returned the 300-pound monstrosity to Dick’s. We borrowed a truck from a friend and it took four people to load up the useless treadmill on to the truck. Though they resisted, my husband Mike stood firm and secured a full refund. Thus, another boycott was added to my list, as Dick’s truly lived up to its name.
My Prayer
Dear Lord, I lift up all the candidates who were confirmed and sealed with the holy chrism oil. May they always be led by the Holy Spirit. And may we, their sponsors, continue to support them in prayer. I also pray for the repose of the soul of my Tia Maria. Amen.
Rest In Peace, Mom and Myra
The Homily
Did you ever imagine that a single Sunday homily could plant such a deep seed?
It all started with an All Souls’ Day Mass. As our priest closed his homily, he left the congregation with words that landed like a gentle reprimand: “And if you have family members’ ashes in your closet — shame on you. You need to do the right thing and have a proper burial.”
As we filed out of church, Mike turned to me. “Where are your mother’s ashes?” I paused. “I believe Norma has them. And she has Myra’s too.” “Well,” he said, “we need to fix this.”
And so the journey to properly inter Mom and Myra began.
The Options for Burial
We met with a representative from Hermosa Cemetery and were walked through several burial options for our loved ones. In the end, we chose to purchase a single niche — one with enough space for two urns — and split the cost between us.
A Tribute to Myra
Fifteen years ago, we said our final goodbyes to our beloved sister Myra. Though her remains were cremated, the service we held for her was truly beautiful.
Because Myra was single and without children, the responsibility for arranging her funeral fell to our mother. She was wheelchair-bound — and yet she rose to the moment with a profound act of love, making every major decision for Myra’s service with quiet strength and grace.
Our family came together, unified in grief and purpose, to organize the details — including choosing who would speak. When the service concluded, I rode with my sister Norma. She carefully placed Myra’s ashes in the back seat of her SUV, securing them as though she were still watching over her. It was a comforting sight — our sister, entrusted with bringing Myra home, handling her remains with all the respect and dignity Myra deserved.
Mother’s Tribute
Five months after Myra’s passing, we lost our mother.
Once again, we gathered — this time at a different location — to make the arrangements and honor her well. Our mother loved Mariachi music, so we brought in a trio to play some of her favorite songs. That evening, family surrounded her memory with celebration, laughter, and love, honoring the legacy she had spent a lifetime building.
She, too, was cremated. And once again, Norma took on the quiet responsibility of watching over her ashes — faithful to the end, as she had been for Myra.
The Journey
In early November 2025, Mike and I began the process of having Mom and Myra interred at Hermosa Cemetery in Colton — the same place where our oldest brother Robert had already been laid to rest. It mattered deeply to us that we could visit all three of them in one place.
The first task was to bring all four of my siblings on board. Since Mike and I had initiated this undertaking, the coordination fell to me — setting up meetings, gathering the family, and requesting the proper documents. The process was not without its challenges.
The Challenges
What looked like a single act of love quickly revealed itself to be a process with many moving parts. Every step required documentation, coordination, and patience.
Re-Permitting Remains An appointment had to be scheduled with the Vital Statistics Office in San Bernardino to re-permit both sets of remains for transfer and interment.
Obtaining Death Certificates Death certificates were required for both Mom and Myra. Fortunately, Jo had a copy of Myra’s on hand. Our mother’s certificate was another matter — it had to be requested from Mariposa County, Arizona, which added both time and distance to the process.
Document Submission Requirements A notarized, certified letter was required for submission, along with supporting documentation that included a copy of my driver’s license, a copy of my birth certificate, a copy of our mother’s birth certificate, and credit card information for payment. As with every step in this process, there was a fee.
The Setback
As the December 12th deadline from Hermosa Cemetery approached, a letter arrived from Mariposa County with unwelcome news: the credit card had not been charged, signaling a complication in the process. The journey had hit a wall.
The source of the delay turned out to be a name discrepancy — an unexpected typo buried somewhere in the paperwork. At that point, the weight of it all felt crushing. A new deadline was requested, this time for January 15th.
Typo on the Death Certificate
The letter from Vital Statistics flagged a name discrepancy but offered no further detail. Whose name? The question opened an unexpected door into personal history.
The spelling “Lynda” hadn’t always been the spelling. Back in sixth grade, best friends made a small and memorable pact — swapping the vowels in their names. “Linda” became “Lynda,” and Nancy became the other half of that exchange. It was the kind of childhood moment that leaves a quiet mark on a life.
Could the discrepancy be tied to that change? After multiple attempts to reach the Vital Statistics office, someone finally answered. When asked if it was possible to guess the issue, the answer — surprisingly — was yes.
The misspelling wasn’t on Lynda’s name at all. It was on her mother’s death certificate. Her mother’s name had been recorded incorrectly.
Relief. Real, exhale-to-the-floor relief.
To resolve it, the mother’s birth certificate was needed. Providentially, sister-in-law Mary had a copy — a small but timely blessing that kept the journey moving forward.
Overcoming Obstacles
The following day, the entire process had to begin again — notarizing, certifying, and mailing the documents back to the Vital Records office in Arizona. It was exhausting and disheartening, and the tears came.
In that moment, a phone call to sister Jo made all the difference. She listened, offered steady emotional support, and without hesitation sent the funds needed to redo the paperwork. It was the kind of quiet generosity that holds a family together when the weight of doing right by the dead threatens to become too much for one person to carry.
Another week passed before the corrected death certificate finally arrived. From there, one more appointment was scheduled with the Vital Records office in San Bernardino to obtain the final permit. And then — at last — the drive to Hermosa Cemetery. To put it all, literally and lovingly, to rest.
Transporting the Ashes
The human body does not cease to matter at death. The body of the deceased brings forcefully to mind the Church’s conviction that the human body is, in Christ, a temple of the Holy Spirit — destined for future glory at the resurrection of the dead. This conviction shapes everything about how cremated remains are to be handled and where they are to rest.
The cremated remains of a body are to be treated with the same respect given to the human body from which they come — including the manner in which they are carried, the care taken in transport, and their final disposition. They should be buried in a grave or entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium. Scattering cremated remains on the sea, from the air, or on the ground, or keeping them in the home of a relative or friend, is not the reverent disposition the Church requires.
This practice is inseparable from the faith it expresses. Burying the dead in a sacred place expresses the Church’s faith in the resurrection of the body and shows the great dignity of the human body as an integral part of the human person whose body forms part of their identity.
In the United States, the Postal Service is uniquely equipped to handle the transport of cremated remains with care and reliability, ensuring they arrive at their final resting place with the dignity they deserve. Jo generously contributed $140 to cover the shipping costs — one more act of love in a long journey of love.
The Service
Jo had already made arrangements to fly in from New Orleans, and at last — the day arrived.
The family gathered. My brother George came with his wife Mary and their adult children, Robert and Gina. My brother Mike attended with two of his sons, Rong and Nick, and his grandson Michael. Our nephew Mario was there as well. And my own family — Mikos, Sonja, and Russ — surrounded me with their presence.
And of course, Mike — who had been by my side through every step of this journey — was there at the end of it too.
Honoring Mom and Myra
We took turns sharing stories about “Ma” and Myra — stories threaded through with love, sacrifice, and the particular tenderness that only family carries.
Jo recalled the many trips she made from Louisiana with her four sons to visit us. After the long drive, our mother’s first instinct was to send Jo straight to bed to rest — while she took over watching the boys. That was Ma. She gave before anyone thought to ask. Jo, in turn, made arrangements for our mother to come visit her in Louisiana, ensuring the love traveled in both directions.
Myra was a wonderful aunt — and for some of her nieces and nephews, she was far more than that. She helped direct their lives at pivotal moments, offering guidance with a steady hand and a generous heart. To those who knew her best, she was the sweetest, most selfless person in the room — and always the one willing to speak the truth, even when it was hard to hear. Myra set the tone for joy wherever she went. Her laughter was simply contagious.
Our mother worked early morning hours in the food service department at San Bernardino Valley College, catching a bus before the rest of the household was awake. But she never left without first putting on a fresh pot of oatmeal. As the boys grew old enough to work, they stepped in to help carry the financial weight of the family — a quiet inheritance of her example.
Even now, it is easy to believe that Ma is still holding this family together. She looks down from heaven with that broad smile of hers, knowing that we are all doing well — because of the love she poured into us, and the way she chose to raise us.
My Prayer
Dear Lord,
May the story shared here give others the courage to do what love requires — to finally bring their loved ones home, to lay them to rest with the dignity and reverence they deserve.
Thank You for the gift of family, and for the grace that gathered us together on this day. Thank You for a mother who loved well and a sister who laughed freely — and for the mercy that now holds them both.
May Mom and Myra rest in Your peace, forever.
Amen.
A Walk Through Holy Week
Take a walk with me through Holy Week.
Palm Sunday
Twenty-six years ago, I stood on the Mount of Olives and experienced a Palm Sunday I will never forget. In 2000 during my very first trip to the Holy Land, our group followed the same path into the Old City that Jesus took for His triumphal entry. I can still hear the drums and flutes, and the echoes of “Hosanna In The Highest” as we walked. It was a moment of pure jubilation that I’ve replayed in my mind a thousand times since. Feeling so grateful for that “God ordained” journey today.
Jesus’ Humble Entry
Jesus must fulfill Zechariah’s prophecy by entering into the city on a donkey.
Zechariah 9:9 New American Bible (Revised Edition)
The King’s Entry into Jerusalem
9 Exult greatly, O daughter Zion!
Shout for joy, O daughter Jerusalem!
Behold: your king is coming to you,
a just savior is he,
Humble, and riding on a donkey,
on a colt, the foal of a donkey.
Palm Branches
Sunday morning at Mass we all received blessed palm branches. Many of the parishioners will weave the branches into crosses, but because these branches are blessed they should not be thrown in the trash. You can burn them or return them to the church, where they will be incinerated and used for the next Ash Wednesday service.
Monday of Holy Week
On this day, Jesus entered the temple and was enraged with the merchants, who were charging inflated rates and robbing Gentiles of the opportunity to pray and worship.
John 2:13-22 New American Bible (Revised Edition)
Tuesday of Holy Week
After a busy day of calling out the Pharisees (Matthew 23:13-35) and preaching on the Mount of Olives that evening, Jesus and his disciples walked to Bethany to stay the night. Mary, the sister of Martha and Lazarus, anointed Jesus’ feet with expensive spikenard oil. Some of disciples were frustrated because they believed that this expensive oil could have been sold and the money used to give to the poor. Jesus understood the love and care Mary displayed and greatly appreciated her devotion.
John 12:1-3 New American Bible (Revised Edition)
Wednesday of Holy Week
Wednesday of Holy Week is also referred to as spy Wednesday. Judas Iscariot spies on Jesus because he is secretly going to have Him arrested.
Matthew 26:14-16 New American Bible (Revised Edition)
Holy Thursday
Holy Thursday is the first day of Triduum. Triduum means a period of three days. These three days are the most important days in the Christian liturgical year. On this day the Lord’s Supper took place, Jesus instituted the Sacrament of the Eucharist and He washed the feet of His disciples.
Luke 22:19-20 New American Bible (Revised Edition)
Good Friday
Why do we refer to this dreadful day as Good Friday? Jesus, with His suffering and sacrifices, saved us from our sins. Though this was a tragic day, it will always be known as one of the greatest days in history. (Luke 23: 1-24)
There is no Mass on this day but some churches offer a service observing the Stations of the Cross. If possible observe a quiet time between twelve and three p.m. in remembrance of what our Lord endured for us.
Holy Saturday
Holy Saturday is a day to prepare for Easter. There is no morning Mass offered; it all takes place at night at the first Celebration of the Easter Vigil Mass. Each parish celebrates in its own way. The church is completely dark. The priest walks in with one candle. The Paschal candle is lit symbolizing Jesus is the light. The catechumens who have been preparing for their initiation into the Catholic church will walk in holding a single candle representing Jesus’ resurrection.
Easter Sunday
He is Risen!
My Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father, let us feel the emptiness of the church on Good Friday – no Mass celebration because we need to go deeper into the suffering You endured. Restore in each of us a new joy for Your glorious resurrection. May the catechumens be forever changed. Lord, show a glimpse of what is to come. Let Your holy light be seen throughout the world. Amen.