Purgatory 101

All Souls Day

As many were preparing for Halloween parties by painting their faces to resemble the skeletons depicted in the Dia De Los Muertos, I was adapting to this religious concept. The earliest roots in this tradition  can be traced back to the Aztecs, hence the sculls. The Catholic Spaniards fused this custom into honoring the dead with a monotheistic concept. For the first time in my life I understood the theory of this enriching celebration.

Since both of my parents were born in the United States, we never celebrated this holiday or understood it. I thought it was a little on the eerie side to see all those altars at churches dedicated to the souls of the deceased and saints. And to carry this tradition from the altar to their personal homes was even more alarming. Since none of my relatives in Brawley, my birthplace, ever celebrated this day, the void and the unknown tradition lain dormant in my spirit. Curiosity finally got the best of me. I was slowly adapting to this theological doctrine and the reason for praying for the souls in purgatory. I have a dear friend, Sylvia, who has always prayed for the repose of their souls. For the passed two years many of us have experienced the death of a loved one because of COVID. For me to pray for the repose of souls was unheard of,  but when the Lord tugged at my heart to pray for the deceased, I complied and  I have a long list!

The Lesson

In my healthy attempt to flood my mind with pious knowledge, I listen to several Catholic radio stations. In the morning, while preparing our smoothies and having my coffee with Ezekiel toast, I’m feeding my soul as well. I cannot recall the name of the priest who so eloquently explained All Souls Day/Dia De los Muertos and why we need to pray for our loved ones. We can help those who are in purgatory by praying for them. The month of November is dedicated to Souls. While listening to this broadcast, I discovered what is required to receive a plenary indulgence.

Information from Relevant Radio:

In addition to visiting these places and offering the prescribed prayers, the general requirements for indulgences must be met:

  • Pray for the intentions of our Holy Father
  • Worthily receive Holy Communion (ideally on the same day, or within several days if that is not possible)
  • Go to Confession within about 20 days of the indulgenced work
  • Be in a state of grace at the time the indulgenced work is completed
  • For a plenary indulgence it is also necessary to have a complete detachment from sin, even venial sin (a minor offense)

My husband is a planner; therefore I can never suggest anything without details. On Tuesday I suggested that we visit his parents’ gravesite as well as my brother Robert’s. He thought it was a great idea, so on Friday morning after Mass we headed out to the Inland Empire. Mike purchased three arrangements of assorted flowers for the visit. I made a confession on Thursday to be in good graces for the plenary indulgence.

The Visit

When Mike was a child, his family’s business was located near Mitlas’ Cafe. Whenever we are in town, we always frequent this Mexican restaurant in San Bernardino. After our delicious breakfast we headed out to Montecito Memorial Park. It had been a while since visiting Mike’s parents’ gravesite, so we needed help locating the grave stones. I packed some cutting shears and a beach towel so that we could clean the sites. Mike got on his knees to clean the debris on the tombstones. Surprisingly, they were both in good condition. We set the flowers over their engraved names and said a prayer. We prayed for the repose of their souls. To the right of his mom’s tombstone, weeds had disrespectfully taken over the grave stone of a stranger, so much so, that the name was completely covered. Mike graciously cleaned that one as well.

Hermosa Garden Cemetery was our next stop. My heart ached with sorrow because it had been decades since I last visited my brother Robert’s  gravesite. I had an idea where he was laid to rest but, again, we needed  help. The small office was closed for lunch but I felt that it would be a while before they returned. So, on our own, Mike and I started the search. I called my sister Norma and she was able to confirm that we were in the right area. Because this cemetery is smaller than where Mike’s parents are laid to rest, I was surprised that the squirrels have comfortably had their way with the grounds. Several of the graves were covered in mounds of soil, so much so that I had to clear the dirt in order to read the names on the tombstones.  We split up and in about 20 minutes Mike found Robert’s gravesite. We prayed for the repose of his soul, but deep within my spirit I prayed for forgiveness for not visiting Robert’s gravesite more frequently.

Eternal Rest Prayer

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord,

and let perpetual light shine upon them.

May they rest in peace. Amen.

Three Places

When we die we are either going to heaven or hell, but before going to heaven we are in purgatory. As Catholics we believe that there is a state of purification call purgatory. How can we believe that we enter  into the pearly gates with blemish? How can we truly believe that we can stand in the presence of God with sin? We can’t! That is why we need to be purified.

27 but nothing unclean will enter it, nor any[one] who does abominable things or tells lies. Only those will enter whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life.
My Prayer

Dear Lord, I pray that with the help of Your Holy Spirit that my simple way of explaining purgatory will help more people understand this process of purification. I ask that You bless Mike and me for our effort to pray for our loved ones. I pray for all those listed in my prayer journal who are making their journey to their final destination, heaven.  Amen.

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Hiring Good Help

I have never felt entitled or special because I have help with housekeeping. Mike decided early in our marriage that I needed help with keeping our house up. This is a service for which I will forever be grateful because of my busy schedule. Believe me finding good help is not an easy task.

The Valley Home

Our first housekeeper, when we lived in the San Fernando Valley,  came highly recommended by some of Mike’s co-workers. She was a complainer who would not hold back on letting us know how she felt. Once when Mike put a special coating on the tile in the master shower, she told us that she was not going to be responsible if anything happened to the tile. Needless to say she quietly faded away; either I asked her not to return or she just stopped showing up.

 

Don Quijote can no longer hold up his sword, fingers broken off, now he looks militant
My Risen Christ is missing a finger…I know, an over kill with wall decor

Our Orange Dwelling

We have been living in our current home in Orange for almost 40 years. The first lady that I hired would often bring her destructive son with her; he was a terror and ran around the house like a wild horse. He thought it was fun to jump from five steps on to the floor, screaming bloody murder. I had asked her not to bring the little barbarian, but she did not have anyone to watch the minion so she had to quit. I hired someone from my parish but on the first day of work she broke two Lladros statues (expensive porcelain figurines). I paid her and she never set foot in my house again. Throughout the years many of my beautiful Lladro´ figurines were damaged or destroyed.

My headless angel and broken clock

Then came the first long- term housekeeper. I loved her, she was wonderful, and we became friends. She shared with me that her son was getting married, so I offered to take her to purchase a mother-of-the-bride dress. She looked beautiful in it! Then something went wrong; she stopped showing up. She had been working for us for over nine years, so this came as a surprise to me. She asked for a raise, and we complied.  Again she stopped showing up. I had no idea that she was upset. During a telephone conversation, which was her exit interview, she said, “I’m never going to clean your house again, you have the dirtiest house I have ever cleaned!” I was so baffled: first because she insulted my clean house, and second, because I had no idea what really went wrong. I played her last words in my head for years. I will never know the real reason why she was so angry.

Warning Signs

Then came my new housekeeper.  I was over the moon with her! Young, sweet and thorough, it was a match made in heaven…or so I thought. She too worked for us for years, but slowly we started to notice that she was like a tornado cleaning the house. The sparkle and clean smell that once filled our house was gone. I have a shadow box in my downstairs bathroom where I display small collective artifacts. I noticed that a miniature hand blown Christmas tree with ornaments was missing. I asked her if she broke it. “No, Señora, why would I break things and not tell you?” she answered. The following week she had a personal matter to take care of, so I cleaned my house. As I was sweeping behind the toilet, I found a piece of charred glass from one of the ornaments. Did she lie to me? To avoid having her break things around the house, I started to clean my bathrooms. At first this seemed normal to me but to her it was a gift! Now she could leave even earlier. I trusted her and would often run errands while she cleaned. I was always witnessing to her about God and how she should go back to Mass. I felt like I was making headway when she shared with me that her children wanted to go to Mass. When she had a special prayer intention, I’d pray for her needs. I gave her so many holy objects that I had purchased from overseas.

Now It’s Personal

One day when I got back from an errand, she said, “Señora, whenever you want to get rid of your shoes, give them to me. I tried on your shoes and we are the same size.” Out of the kindness of my heart, I did give her several pairs of shoes along with many other items. I continued to witness to her about God. I showed her a Bible that was signed by Saint Teresa of Calcutta and a special rosary with a first-class relic. The following week these two items were missing. I have always kept them in a special spot, but now they were gone. I asked her if she had seen them, “No, Señora, I don’t know what you did with them.” A few weeks later the items mysteriously reappeared. Again, I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Because I was sending a message to my friend in Spain, I needed a little help with the translation. When she came from upstairs to help, she smelled so clean. “Oh my gosh! What lotion are you wearing? It smells so good!” “Oh, Señora, it’s yours. I tried some of it.” “You mean the lotion that I save for special occasions? Please don’t touch my stuff!!” I had had enough, but it does not end there. I took prescribed medication that required me to cut the pills in quarters. I kept the pills in the container that’s used for cutting the pills. When I went to take my pill, the container was empty! I found my pills in the trash. Again, “Señora, I did not throw the pills away, etc.” She opened the container that I had wrapped in a rubber band, but when they spilled out, she tossed them in the trash!

I was saddened by my decision to tell her not to return. Through our friendship I had created a dysfunctional relationship that in the end was damaging to both of us. I would never badmouth her with others because she is a hard worker and a likable person. Part of the problem, which I’m responsible for, was sharing too much personal information with her. Nonetheless, she still holds a special place in my heart.

New Housekeepers

Since June Mike and I have decided to clean our own home. All the complaining about our bathroom being too small has now turned into a blessing. So far, now not only do we both have plenty of time to clean, we do it with love.

My Prayer

Dear Lord, I pray for every person that You have brought in and out of our lives. May You bless them and, if I am responsible for any offensive actions, please forgive me. Amen.

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Planting The Good Seeds

My beautiful roses
Roses for the Blessed Mother Mary

My favorite rose bush was infested with a species of spider mites. It was an all-out war between Mike and the pests. At first he’d spray the roses with a repellent to stop the ongoing problem, but it was hopeless. This particular rose bush produces the most beautiful long-stemmed roses with a heavenly scent, but nothing was working and the spider mites were winning the battle. The roses were anemic and refused to bloom; their leaves were taken over by spider webs. The spider webs choked the life out of the stems, so the roses were slowly dying. Mike went to see a rose horticulturalist, who suggested more pesticides.

I had given in to the fact that we needed to pull out the dying bush, but Mike had a better idea. Mike took matters into his own hands and pruned the rose tree. I was in complete disagreement with this because pruning is done in February, not in September. But much to my surprise whatever Mike did worked; so I’m happy to announce that our beautiful rose bush is once again producing the most fragrant scented flowers. The reason I’m sharing this story is to encourage you to not give up on small projects; when you put your heart and soul into a task, you will see the fruits of your labor.

My rose bush story can be used as a metaphor. We are always going to deal with difficult situations in our lives. People who we know, perhaps even family members, continue to allow the spider mites to take over our lives. The webs become stronger and choke the life out of us. If we choose to stand close to them and hear them out, there is the chance that the spider mites might jump on you and hold you captive. In my metaphor the spider mites are ungodly spirits, waiting for the opportunity to bring you down, but you have the capability to cut those spirits off by avoiding those situations. Stay away from toxic people who bring you down. If they are family members, all that is left is prayer – a lot of prayer!

The Fig Tree

The fig tree is mentioned several times in the Bible. From the Old to the New Testament, the proverbial fig tree is present. It’s not a coincidence that God gave the Israelites the blessing of the fig tree. Today Israel’s fig trees produce two harvests: the first crop is around Passover and the second comes in September, in time for the Jewish holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. In the Bible the fig tree is a metaphor for Israel; it symbolizes the strength or weakness of a nation. In the case of Israel, the fig tree symbolized both the physical and spiritual direction of this nation.

Our Fig Tree

We have an elderly fig tree on the side of our yard. During the summer months this tree gives us privacy from our neighbors. Every year the tree produces figs; some years the lazy branches give us an abundance of fruit. This year, for the first time, I harvested figs and made fig jelly. The gazillion golden seeds are more evident in the jelly when it’s processed.

Our family unwillingly shares the fig tree with indigenous birds, crows and sparrows that have wild, loud parties. Once the sun goes down, the rats come in for a midnight snack. The rats, along with the birds, create debris on the ground. By morning, the birds, and rats leave a mess. I liken it to wine and beer bottles scattered throughout the yard like the aftermath of a wild fig party. This mess must be cleaned up before the ant party arrives. Everything God blesses us with has to be nurtured and cared for – that’s part of the cycle of life.

The Seeds

What I find most fascinating about the fig tree is the number of seeds contained in just one fig. The seed is another metaphor for abundance. Jesus uses the parable of the sower scattering seed. When Jesus spoke this parable, He explained it to His disciples because His intention was planting the future Church hierarchically. Jesus had to make it clear to His disciples who they were and the importance of their contribution to the Church. This particular parable is clear and can be drawn from everyday life, but to the faithless they remain a mystery. In the case of the faithless, the seed has fallen on hard ground.

Good seed planted yields much fruit. If you plant a pumpkin, it will give you up to eight pumpkins. This is the law of nature; when you plant good seeds they keep on giving.

Californians: Vote NO on Proposition One!

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