It was in 2003, and Father’s Day was fast approaching. I was looking for a gift for Mike. At that time I was attending a Catholic lay ministry located in Brea, California. Not far from the ministry was a Christian bookstore. I walked in and looked around for that special gift. A young salesman approached me and asked if I needed any help. When I explained, he suggested I purchase the book “The Purpose Driven Life.”

I had never heard of Rick Warren, the author of  “The Purpose Driven Life”, nor did I know about his ministry. This book has sold over 34 million copies and has been translated into 85 languages. Mike was one of the millions that enjoyed the book. This book was published in 2002, catapulting Saddle Back Church into becoming  a mega church. People were transformed because of Pastor Warren’s writings. This book was inspired by God; many Bible references are proof of that.

Every Moment of Your Life Matters

On a family vacation we invited our nephew Freddie. Freddie and Mikos were about eleven-years old. While we were swimming in Bass Lake, Freddie pointed to a kid and said, “Tia, I think that kid is drowning!” I looked over and said, “I don’t think so.” Then Freddie went to the boy, grabbed him and pulled him out of the water. The boy was indeed about to drown. By the time Freddie reached the shore, the boy’s mother came screaming in panic. Freddie was placed there at that exact moment to save this child. Why did I not recognize the warning signs? It was because God was going to use Freddie for this purpose, not me.

If you are still wondering why you were put on earth, then you have not found your purpose. We were all created for a purpose; our birth was no accident. Some of us are born to loving families while others are not. What you experienced in your childhood will either make you stronger, or place you in the victim mentality.

As you grow into adulthood you are either equipped to face the problems of the world or to develop insecurities. These insecurities are solidified by Satan’s voice to remind you of your pasted sufferings. You place yourself in a limbo state of mind and blame others for your failures. God allows you to experience rejection so that you can grow from the experience. It is never too late to receive the gifts God has set aside for you. Until you realize this epiphany, nothing else matters; fame, success, personal goals are like making a wish and blowing on a dandelion.

What matters is the tug in your heart, telling you something is missing. That void will remain in your spirit until you reconcile with God. Your purpose in life is to find the treasures and gifts from your Creator. I like to exercise and I know that’s good for my health, but I will never allow the obsession of vanity to take over my mind. Outward appearance is important, but an obsession with exercising destroys the balance of who you are inside. We must concentrate on our inward beauty as well. You may look great on the outside but to what avail if you are broken spiritually?

Recognizing Our Creator

If you are a runner, you are a different breed. You run to clear your head, to fill your lungs with good air and to stay in shape. Running is a spiritual journey because your mind naturally goes into deep thought. My husband has always been a runner; not a day passes without him working out on the treadmill. Before the treadmill Mike would run up and down hills in our neighborhood. He runs one hour a day to stay healthy and to start his day with a good workout. This balances his life.

I love to go on long walks, taking in all of God’s beauty. My eyes feast on the brilliant colors of the blooming flowers and trees, and the scent that fills the soft breeze allows me to experience a whiff of another of God’s creations.  All this was created by God for our enjoyment. How can anyone contest God’s creation?

Your Transformation

So how do you get there? We seek what makes us feel good, right? We use our God-given senses to start the long journey home. I know I’m on the right path, but many times the things of the world detour my journey.

If we keep our eyes on the road and focus on the destination, we will eventually arrive. The world is a noisy place, suffering from great pain, but the burdens that we all carry can easily be unloaded.

The Lord welcomes the brokenhearted, the downcast, the rejected. He takes us as we are. Allow Him to comfort you and to make you whole because when you are made whole, you can be mightily used by God. Our roads will never be straight, our lives will never be perfect, but one thing is for certain: you will have peace in all circumstances of your life

When I suffered from a severe case of COVID I never once got angry with God. Instead I drew closer to Him. I trusted that He would see me through this trial. The fear of the unknown was always looming, but through prayer all this was lifted. I have an assignment from God: to pray for others, to write about His wonderful deeds, and to be a witness of His love for others.

My Prayer:

From one of my favorite verses: Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lively, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

It’s difficult to understand why God allows illness or allows us to go through irrefragable trials. On the second night of being home from the hospital I asked God to give me a new direction in life. I was still recovering from COVID, but I knew that He had other plans for me.

As I prayed, the word “nonprofit” kept coming to me. I had never done anything like this, so I continued to pray. Again I received the word “nonprofit.” I asked theLord,”How and what should I do?” Then another word, “backpacks and for me to start with something small.” I continued to pray throughout the week about this matter. Then I took a leap of faith and ordered 24 backpacks. “Ok, Lord, now what?” I prayed again and sent out a few text messages. I wanted these backpacks to be filled with supplies, and that was going to cost money. I sent my granddaughter Maddie for supplies for one backpack so that I could estimate the cost. Then I received a response from Marianela, one of my dear friends. I had asked her to help with five backpacks; she immediately said “yes.” Then I received another text from her that she wanted to help with more. I told her to pray about it, and that’s exactly what she did. She went to church and said that the Lord told her to cover the cost for all the backpacks! This was a confirmation for me to continue with the project.  I ordered another 24 backpacks. My precious friend Jane also helped me with filling more. I know that the Lord will continue to guide my first nonprofit project. I’m still working on establishing it; Sonja and Mike are doing research with the legal aspects of a nonprofit.

¹⁶ It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you.

I want to leave a legacy to my grandchildren. I understand that their parents are doing a wonderful job in raising them. I want them to follow in the steps of the greatest of all servants, Jesus Christ. Maddie (Melon) stepped up to the challenge; she, along with two of her friends, picked up the supplies for the first 24 backpacks. It took them over three hours at Walmart to complete the shopping, I could not go because I’m still using oxygen. Sonja, Lucas and Jacob helped with the packing. Before Sonja arrived, chaos broke out between the boys (they’re both hot heads). I told them that we had to pray. The prayer was simple: “Dear Lord, we are doing this work for Your Kingdom. Bring peace and bless the work of our hands.” After the prayer all went smoothly . Since these backpacks are going to public schools I had the boys make cards saying “You are loved.” Will will make the remainder of the cards. A week later Maddie and her friend Sarah came to finish the packing. My granddaughter is busy with her volleyball team; she also has a part-time job that occupies most of her free time. I’m so proud of my family for helping with this loving project. These hours will be considered service hours for all who can help.

Title One Schools

There are twelve Title One elementary schools in the city of Orange. Title One schools were established to provide fair academic services for neglected, delinquent, homeless, students with disabilities, migrant children and at-high-risk students. In order for a school to be considered Title One, 40%  of the students must be considered low-income to receive this federal aid. This program reaches over six-million students nationwide, primarily in the elementary grades.

During twelve years of working with Release Time Religious Education, I worked at four of these elementary schools. I am familiar with the hardships these students face. I have witnessed verbal abuse by teachers because these kids had trouble comprehending what they were being taught. Once I heard a teacher screaming at the top of her lungs while I waited outside the classroom to pick up the students. As I was leaving, I reported this incident to the office. With the Title One program, these students have an opportunity to excel in math, language arts and science through after-school programs.

In order to avoid any red tape, we did not go through the school district. Our daughter Sonja has a friend who is a teacher at one of these schools, so our first distribution will go to her school.

The Dream

I have a lot of dreams; some of them are prophetic. So much doubt comes to my mind about this project, but God always offers faith. On Sunday morning I had a dream that I was pregnant. This dream means  that I’m birthing something new. I have to trust God for the provisions because He planted this seed, and this dream is a confirmation. God knows that I suffer with the St. Thomas Doubter Syndrome; that’s why He gave me this dream.

Age Is Truly A Number

When I headed the ministry for the homeless I was in my late 40’s. This was a 20-year ministry that ended because of my autoimmune disorder; I could no longer feed the homeless because of the  open sores all over my body. Then COVID shut that door permanently. In a few days I will be 69 years old, but that is not going to stop me from serving the Lord. If you would like to be part of this nonprofit, you can reach me by commenting on this Blog or private message me. Hopefully within a few weeks the nonprofit will be established with a donate button. Please remember that even though Title One schools get federal funding, it does not trickle down to the parents. If you cannot support this project, please pray that all we do will be done for the glory of God.

My Prayer:

Dear Lord, we both know how much help I need to take on this endeavor. Please guide me in every decision, so that all donations will be properly distributed into the right hands. May I be ever  mindful of what a great responsibility You have entrusted me with. I pray for those who are willing to support this project to pray first and to do it from their hearts. Amen.

On the morning of July 7th, I woke up with a cough that caused great pain; its force almost made me pass out . I told Mike it was time for me to go to the hospital.  I needed to wash my  hair, so I got up to take a shower. It took an hour because I had to climb down the stairs. Each step seemed almost impossible.  Poor Mike walked backwards to help me down.

UCI

Once we reached the hospital I felt great relief. UCI (University of California Irvine).  I had never been to this hospital because our insurance is with St. Joseph. My son’s friend is a doctor who is head of the emergency room, so it was my decision to go there.  From the triage to my release, the care that I received there was phenomenal, The personal touch of everyone caring and serving my medical needs can only be described as agape love.

I am a true, red-blooded American. I love my country and now have a deeper appreciation of how diverse we are. The team of nurses and doctors represented so many different countries but now they are Americans just like me. Thank God they answered their calling. So gentle was one of the nurses that she French braied my hair. Many of the staff shared their powerful testimony of their personal lives and I, of course, shared Jesus.

The Study

I do not particularly care for the word “placebo” or what it represents. My oxygen had dropped from 83 to 73; now it was time for the professionals to take over my care. Once I was settled in my room, I received a call from an infectious disease specialist informing me that I qualified for a study with a drug that had been around for more that 50 years. This trial drug was being used for patients like me to bring a speedy recovery from COVID. I wanted nothing to do with this, so I called Mike, and both he and Mikos, felt that I should be part of this research. I was too weak in mind to understand the ramifications, so I agreed.

The following morning the specialist walked into my room with papers for me to sign and a battery of questions. I was basically being interrogated; the questions went from, “Did you take a steroid before arriving?” I could not remember what day it was, let alone if I took this drug. Again the doctor retorted, “Why did you take that steroid?” I wanted to scream, “Please leave, and let me rest!” But I was subdued and remained in control. When I got a coughing attack, the doctor jumped back and almost melted into the wall. The coughs were always followed by tremors as I tried to get my breathing back to normal. Now the doctor wanted to know the cause of the tremors. “Why do you have tremors?” I wanted so badly to answer, “Because I have COVID, you idiot!” He took another look at his paperwork and he asked, “Do you still have lichen plantus?”  “I answered  yes, I’m currently suffering an oral outbreak.”  “Maybe you’re not a candidate for this study after all, and besides you could just be receiving the placebo.” Without any explanation, I never saw this doctor again.

Day  One

I was receiving so many calls and text messages, but I could not talk and texting was taking too much energy.  I called my daughter Sonja and she quickly took care of  this. Sonja proved to be the best advocate; she arranged for the doctors to FaceTime whenever they called. I asked her to call my friends in Nepal and Croatia for prayer. I had her contact the team friends who are powerful prayer warriors, my Bible study group, my sisters and brothers  and all of my close friends. My sister Norma was in charge of calling our cousins. I had an army praying for me. One of my friends, Susanna, fasted and prayed. Cindy prayed for 24 hours. She said God gave her the grace to do this.

I knew that once  Mike left the room I would not see him for several days. I knew how my family was feeling, and all I could do was cry.  In between praying the Rosary, I begged God for healing. It was a living nightmare! Several times after my vitals were taken I felt Jesus touch my hand; sometimes it was a squeeze on my fingers or my hand. This experience removed all the fears, and I was able to rest. It was five days and four nights, before I was released.

Isaiah 41;13 New American Bible (Revised Edition)

¹³ For I am the Lord, your God,

who grasp your right hand;

It is I who say to you, Do not fear,
    I will help you.

My Hero

Though Mike had a five-day break as a caregiver, what he did for me when I got home was done with the love of Christ. I was too weak to climb the stairs, so I had to sleep downstairs. Sonja researched and found a recliner that would serve as my bed. Mike came down at odd hours to check on me. For the next week and a half, Mike made all of my meals, took my vitals and did all the cleaning. The only thing that was missing was Holy Communion.

I texted my friend Clair from St. Norbert and asked her if she could bring me Communion. Clair is still bringing me daily Communion. Mike was struggling trying to take my vitals; then I remembered that Clair is a nurse! Much to Mike’s relief, Clair was happy to take on this duty. On Sundays my neighbor Adele brings Communion to me along with a lot of goodies.

The Vaccine

I suffer from an autoimmune disorder that developed after getting a flu shot. I endured hundreds of open, unsightly wounds for two-and-a-half  years. The COVID-19 vaccine would trigger another outbreak. I can never put this in my body, but I am elated that Mike was vaccinated. You see, with me it’s personal not political.

My Prayer

Dear Lord, I thank You that I am on the road to recovery. I am forever grateful for all those who prayed for my healing. Please know that you can depend on me for prayer. I pray for all those who are in the midst of their battle. Lord, heal them and bring them closer to You. I pray for the thousands who lost their  battle to this virus. Bring peace to their families. Lastly I thank God for my family, who bombarded heaven on my behalf: Mike, Mikos, Sonja, Jenny, Russ, Maddie, Wil, Lucas and Jacob. Family is the best medicine.