How I Met Your Father

Our wedding, my purple wedding dress
My granddaughter Maddie modeling my wedding dress, yes I kept it

I was eighteen and he was twenty when we met. In the summer of 1971 at San Bernardino Valley College, I decided to take some courses. It was the week after the the Fourth of July because I had spent the weekend with friends at the beach and suffered the worst sunburn. My face had blotches of pealing skin, and I looked awful. When Mike passed me in hall, he did a double take and said , Hey, I know you!” I did not feel very attractive and just said, “Yeah, you dated my sister.”

When I got home that day the phone rang, and it was Mike. I told him my sister was married and that I had a boyfriend who at the time  was away in Mexico as an exchange student.

Paris, France

Mike really was not a stranger because when my sister Jo and he dated, I tagged along. My sister was beautiful and the desire of many male suitors, but she was on the shy side. She invited me on these dates to break the ice. I realize this sounds odd, but it was completely innocent and we had fun. My sister started dating other guys and we lost track of Mike.

Zurich, Switzerland

Mike had recently returned from a long trip in Europe traveling and “finding himself,” when we met in the summer of 1971. He was fun to talk to and we shared an attraction at many levels. I felt like I was cheating on my boyfriend and refused to go out with Mike. He made it very difficult to say no, because he came to my place of work and ordered way too much fast food in order to get my attention. I finally agreed to go on a casual date and it was then that he had me write a Dear John letter to my boyfriend.

On our first date he wanted me to see the movie “Patton.” I had no idea what this movie was about, but it was no longer playing in the local  movie theaters. The only place it was showing was at a drive-in in Palm Springs, which was a 45 minute drive. I told Mike that I was not a drive-in type of girl, and it was out of the question. Mike convinced  me that this movie was worth it. The first thing that I learned about my husband is that his cars are impeccable, clean is an understatement. Mike went to get refreshments and I ordered an orange soda. I told Mike that I could balance the drink with one finger. Well, turns out that I could not balance the drink and it spilled all over the car, making  a sticky orange mess; that ended the date.

When my brothers were home it was nearly impossible to date. They were overprotective and always convinced our mother that I was up to no good. Once Mike had tickets to an Elton John concert at the Hollywood Bowl, but my brothers told my mother that a decent girl does not go all the way to LA for a concert. Mike came to pick me up only to have the door slammed at his face. Mike took his sister Norma to the concert instead.

Mike did not give up on me, We were being raised by a single mom, and that meant that all three of our brothers took the role of our father. They no longer lived with us, but when they visited they controlled our social life.

By the time November rolled around we were engaged, and on January 25, 1972, we were married at the home of one of  Mike’s friends. I wore the dress my mother had given me for Christmas, and though my family was not present and I was scared to death, I knew that it was the right decision.

Years later when our daughter Sonja was in high school, she wanted to dress like a hippie for Halloween. I had saved my purple wedding dress, and when Sonja pulled it out, she said that the dress would be perfect. I grabbed the dress from her and yelled,”NO! You can’t wear this dress!” Sonja looked puzzled and responded, “Wow, what’s wrong with you? You act as if were your wedding dress!” I started to laugh and said, “It is my wedding dress!” Sonja still laughs about this incident.

Our wedding was not at a church, but a Christian pastor officiated the nuptials, and though I did recognized the voice of God, I knew this union was of Him. Years later our marriage was blessed by Father Pat at St. Paul Outside-the-Walls in Rome, Italy. You can read story of our renewing our wedding vows in the Blog dated 1/20/16 “I Do.”

Patton is still one of Mike’s favorite movies, along with Braveheart. I recognized the music, and when I walk into the family room, Mike has the sound full blast., with a smirky simile.  I am sure that he has memorized most of the dialogue by now.

There are three things that amaze me—no, four things that I don’t understand: how an eagle glides through the sky, how a snake slithers on a rock, how a ship navigates the ocean, how a man loves a woman. Proverbs 30:18-19

 

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The Soul Of Seoul, South Korea

Me at the DMZ (Korean Demilitarized Zone)

We were three that were invited guests of Pastor Kim in Seoul, South Korea. I had never visited this country, so I was excited about this new missionary adventure. Our hosts, Pastor Kim and his wife, were most gracious in receiving us. This trip was grueling, with daily meetings that would last late into the evenings. We stayed in a hotel that was in an industrial area in Seoul. The trip was in 2005, but our Korean friends made sure we had all the modern amenities. Our rooms were equipped with Internet and a computer, which I used to keep in touch with family and friends back home.

From the schedule, I knew that the days were jam-packed with meetings and prayer sessions, so I would get up early to walk around the vicinity of our hotel. I’d carefully check the surroundings and mentally make notes of landmarks so that I could find my way back to the hotel. One problem was that I stuck out like sore thumb and got unusual stares. People would greet me with a bow and I’d follow suit. I really had no idea of the culture, nor had I done any studies of the religious demographics of Seoul. I did this walking for two days until the   head our of the ministry, Joanne, found out about this practice and gave me a stern warning about Americans getting kidnapped.

Our hosts brought us breakfast each morning, and it was enough to feed a large family. We had fruit and breads and our hosts would stick around to make sure we ate. Our communication consisted of nodding heads in agreement and being cordial. We felt obligated to eat more than enough so as to not offend our hosts. On days that we ministered late, pizza was delivered to our room, individual medium size accompanied with regular Coke. Even though I used the hotel stairs for exerscise I still packed on five pounds.

Other than Pastor Kim, and his assistant Sara, no one spoke enough English to communicate with us, and when they were not around, it was smiles and saying yes over and over again.

Our outreach was ecumenical to Christians who were eager to hear the Word of God. We were there to support our ministry leader, as she was the person the Koreans wanted as their special guest.

We would meet in odd buildings, climbing winding staircases. At the front door was a sea of shoes, and we were handed slippers to wear and piled our shoes with those of the rest of the congregants. These people were precious and wanted to learn more about the Lord, so  they lined up for prayer after every meeting. It was a powerful time because they were hungry for the Word. We would rise early, get ready, and go to a new location with new believers. This would be an arduous routine everyday, so it was only by the grace of God that we were refreshed for the the next assignment.

As we were introduced to other bigger churches there were more interpreters available, so we helped with praying. This was thirteen years ago, and Joanne was already in a wheelchair due to arthritis in both knees, so she really felt the fatigue.

Seoul Apartment housing

On our rides from one meeting to another I would look out the window from the back seat of  the car and see the massive high-rise apartment buildings, where most Koreans  live. We’d pass lush parks with rivers flowing through them; this is how I saw Seoul.

The message to the Koreans was always to encourage them to remain steadfast, as many of them were new converts. All new believer must learn to depend on God in all circumstances.

Once we drove for about an hour to minister to pastors, the room was filled with about 200 preachers with their wives. Joanne was on fire when she ministered to them, and many received prophetic words of encouragement. God used us in an supernatural way because we never understood a word of Korean and many of the people of Seoul did not speak English, but we were connected spiritually in the language of God.

Me and young South Korean soldiers at the DMZ
Pastor Kim with his team and our group on the bridge at the DMZ

We took a one day off to drive to the DMZ (Demilitarized Zone) to pray for the peace of North and South Korea. The drive was beautiful, with farms most of the way, and out of nowhere, lone  five story apartments for the farm workers. The higher altitude terrain was a dense forests of evergreens, and the stoic summer air gave a hint of sweet pine.

When we arrived, we headed toward the bridge, where you could stand and see both countries. We prayed on the bridge with our hands extended toward North Korea. The South Koreans are always in fear of war with their neighbors, and over the years this fear has only escalated.

I never  got acclimated to the food, because  it was way too spicy for my palate. On one special evening some of the pastors treated us to a fancy Korean restaurant. At the entrance were all the shoes of the patrons, including women’s designer shoes. The food was fine until the spices met my taste buds and the battle of putting on a gracious face while coughing and downing in a gallon of water to say “too hot! Too hot!” brought loud laughs from our hosts.

According to the Pew Research Center the percentage of Christians in South Korea has increased from 1% in 1990 to 29% currently. I praise God that we were used to bring the Word of God to our friends in South Korea.

We met up with Pastor Kim several years later in Istanbul, where he planted a new church and we ministered with him. We are still in contact with Pastor Kim, who was recently in the United States to finish a degree in Divinity.

Isaiah 55:10-11 New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

10 For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
    and do not return there until they have watered the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
    giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
11 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
    it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
    and succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

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Lent on Valentine’s Day


Celebrating Lent New Orleans style, the Big Easy

LENT

Our family from New Orleans embraces Lent in grand style.  Schools are closed for a week during Mardi Gras. Parades are held throughout the week with people on floats, wearing masks, tossing beads to huge crowds. Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday in French) is in full swing, but after the party the masks come off. We are now entering into the the most holy of holidays for Christians, Lent.  We are to be in an attitude of repentance, and a solemn state of mind. Our churches will reflect this by not having flowers displayed during Lent. No Gloria or alleluias are sung during this season because it is a time of great loss (The Passion of Christ). On the fifth Sunday of Lent, sacred images are draped in purple as a remembrance of our sense of contrition. During this time we are called to prayer, penance, and almsgiving. We celebrate Lent in remembrance of Jesus being tempted for forty days in the desert by Satan. Forty is a significant number, because it represents testing, ending in victory.   The most important element of Lent is drawing us closer to Jesus through the Passion.

I struggle with giving up certain foods for Lent. This year I’m praying that I can get past a week of what I’m sacrificing. In the past, fasting came naturally, and many times I could fast for up 10 days. Now, just one day is a huge challenge. I remember that when I fasted, if I got past the third day, I knew that I’d gotten over the hurdle, and it felt natural to continue with the fast. I am asking God to help me with fasting during Lent. There are so many vices that I need to rid myself of that I can only accomplish this through the grace of God. Last year I gave up bread and sweets, but fell short. Lent is a time of a  deeper knowledge of God, and I pray that my sacrifice will honor Him.

I will be distributing the ashes at the 6:15 A.M. Mass, making the sign of the cross while saying, “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

 

Valentine’s Day

Me, Helen, and Leslie; together we have 119 years of marriage

We have dinner reservation at a popular steak house on Valentine’s Day, a conundrum brought on by the convergence of Lent and Valentine’s Day falling on the same day. We are to abstain from meat on Ash Wednesday, but I guess our husbands kind of forgot. Our reservations are at 5:30 for two reasons: some of us are old, and that was the only time available.

Willie, Mike, and Larry

Mike will be receiving a new pair of socks with a red background as his gift for Valentine’s. As you can, tell I am not the romantic one in the family. I’m a true believer of “it’s the thought that counts.”

 

1 John 4:19 New International Version (NIV)

19 We love because he first loved us.

What a perfect order,” We love because he first loved us.” We need Jesus to navigate us into what true love is all about.  Valentine’s Day is meant for expressing our love,  Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith and only He can fulfill the void in our heart.

Prayer:

Dear Lord, I thank you for the love you have for us; allow us to be in your presence during this holy season of Lent. Teach us to love as you love. Amen

 

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