A Good Father

On Saturday I attended a funeral of a dear friend’s father. I never met this man but I got to know him through the words of those he left behind. Robert was a strong Christian who served God and taught his children to follow in his steps. His daughter Kim spoke of his love for his family and what a wonderful role model he was. She said that to the very end her father was teaching her life lessons. Her memories were not only heartfelt but we all got the sense of what a loving father he was. Kim’s brother John’s words were equally inspiring because this young man was well grounded in Christ because of the loving influence of his father. Their father was rooted in the word of God and to the very end was an exemplary father to his two children. I met Kim’s mom for the first time and her eyes spoke of her deep pain. As God leads me, I will pray for her to feel the comfort of God the Father. This family is guarded with special angels because their father prayed and still prays for them. Even in his last days, Kim spoke of her father’s peace and how he never feared the inevitable. Every night the family read from the Bible; this was another part of Robert’s plan for family unity. Fatherhood was one of his callings, and Robert has two shining examples of the outcome of being there for your children. Please remember this precious family in your prayers this week.

Statistics of Fatherless Children

According to an article written by Wayne Parker, these are the startling facts about children being raised without a father:

• Suicide: 63 percent of youth suicides
• Runaways: 90 percent of all homeless and runaway youths
• Behavioral Disorders: 85 percent of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders
• High School Dropouts: 71 percent of all high school dropouts
• Juvenile Detention Rates: 70 percent of juveniles in state-operated institutions
• Substance Abuse: 75 percent of adolescent patients in substance abuse centers
• Aggression: 75 percent of rapists motivated by displaced anger

Sonora Smart Dodd spent a lifetime making sure that all father’s were honored by setting aside a special day for them. Her father, William Smart, was a widower twice with 14 children. When Sonora’s mother died, she was sixteen-years-old, with five younger brothers; the other siblings were grown. Sonora said that she can remember so many wonderful details of what a admirable job her father did in raising her and her five brothers. She wanted to honor her father on his birthday June 5th. Her work started at a church service, but Sonora wanted this day to be recognized as a national holiday. Father’s Day was proclaimed a national holiday in 1972 by Richard Nixon, six years after Sonora’s death.

Honor Your Father

All fathers should be honored. This is the Fifth Commandment, and it is the only commandment that comes with a promise (Ex 20:12).

Men are the head of the household because this is how God designed it. We all have fathers; some fathers did not have good role models and, therefore, did not develop the proper skills for becoming a good father. My father was absent for most of my childhood, so I did not experience that bond between a father and daughter. I could have taken this loss and felt sorry for myself but, instead, I learned to live a life without a father figure because God the Father was always with me. I married a man that would become the best Father for our two children. Even though both of our children are grown and married, Mike continues to be that strong role model of a father. Mike has, and continues to be, the honorable patriarch of our family. He is the best provider; Mike has always made sure that we have all that we need.

The Priority of a Father

First and foremost if you’re going to step into the role of fatherhood, you need to have a relationship with God the Father. We all need spiritual guidance, but especially fathers. If you put God first in your life, you can rest assured that through prayer God will guide you to do the right thing for your family. The man must be the spiritual leader of the family; this is how the foundation of a family is set. God does not make mistakes when He set this as a standard; there is an order to His work. A father is a spiritual example to the rest of the family. By attending church services with his family, the father is teaching and training the family to prioritize God in their lives. This is exactly what my friend Kim’s dad did. Because of his love for God, living the life of a good Christian, it was second nature to live and serve by example. Kim and her husband David will do the same for their daughter.

The Provider

Kim’s father was suffering from cancer but that did not stop him from making sure that his wife was taken care of. He purchased new appliances for the kitchen and made sure that repairs were all completed so that his wife would not have to worry about these matters. This is what a father does; he provides for his family by making sure that all is well with his family. The man’s role is to provide, to be the covering for his family.

My Prayer

Dear Lord,  I pray for all fathers that they may attain the gifts You have set aside for them, that they may become the men of God they were called to be. Holy Spirit, guide those fathers who have a strained relationship with their children. Heal all the pain from their upbringing and make them whole. Lord, for those children who are estranged from their fathers, grant them a spirit of forgiveness, and do not allow another day of pain to separate them from their fathers. Amen.

The Lord always meets us on  high mountains. This is where He gave Moses the Ten Commandments on Mount Sinai (Ex 19-24). The Beatitudes were also given on a mountain top. Jesus delivered this powerful message to His disciples who had to come up the mountain. In Moses’ case he had to go down the mountain to deliver the message to the incorrigible Israelites. Moses had to meet the Israelites at their spiritual level.

Climbing the Spiritual Mountain

It takes training to climb a mountain; the higher you go, the better equipped you need to be.  Climbing a spiritual mountain is preparing yourself to reach the top with the anticipation of meeting God. It’s a perfect place of peace, similar to the mountain climber who reaches a certain zenith to take in the natural beauty of God’s created nature. To reach the spiritual mountain takes training and sacrifice. You must be willing to give up your time to prepare for this encounter. Preparing for a spiritual journey requires a constant state of prayer.

The Beatitudes are at the heart of Jesus’ teaching. They take up the promises make to the chosen people since Abraham. The Beatitudes fulfill the promises by ordering them no longer merely to the possession of a territory but to the Kingdom of heaven. (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1716) 

The Sermon on the Mount

I believe that the word “blessed” has been hijacked by the world and is used out of context. Hashtag and blessed used together is an oxymoron. The true meaning of blessed is makarios (Greek): to be happy, fortunate. In the beatitude of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus is pouring out His Sacred Heart by teaching us how to become more like Him.

When Jesus shared this message with His disciples He prepared them for one of the most important life lessons.

The Beatitudes:

Blessed are the poor in spirit: those who are spiritually humble,  recognize their need for God’s grace. They acknowledge their own spiritual poverty, are unattached to the world and find solace in the Lord. They are rich in faith.   (James 2:5)

Blessed are those who mourn: Every tear that we shed will be comforted by God. We weep for the suffering of others, for the loss of loved ones and for any grief we have caused our Lord.

Blessed are the meek: Their gentle spirits have the world fooled into believing that they are powerless and insignificant. The meek are far from that; they have the inner strength to remain calm because they know how to refrain from anger.  They have the ability to refrain by conquering evil with good. They will inherit the earth; this refers to heaven itself.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness: They are starving for righteousness; they believe in justice, and doing right toward others. (Jn 4:13-14)

Blessed are the merciful: Mercy forgives others even when they do not deserve it.  They imitate God’s mercy because they have patience and understanding .

Blessed are the peacemakers: They sow peace and share the gospel so that others can reconcile with God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake: The world hates them because they are the true witnesses of God. They are committed because they believe in the righteousness of the Gospel.

Of all these beatitudes I can honestly say that  have come close to fulfilling only two. I do hunger and thirst for righteousness, and I believe that I am in training to become a stronger peacemaker.  I accept but labor to master rest of the beatitudes. These were our Lord’s wishes for all of us. My spiritual mountain is a constant battle with many worldly obstacles and the unwanted debrisI experience on the way up. I will never give up my climb until I’ve reached my Mount Sinai.

The Church of the Beatitudes

Several years ago we had a two-day retreat at the Church of the Beatitudes. This Roman Catholic Church is under the Primacy of St. Peter, which means that it is under the protection of the Franciscan Order. I will never forget this experience, not only because it brought me closer to God, but because my feet were planted on the same ground where our Lord gave this powerful message. We celebrated Mass in the garden under beautiful palm trees. I felt the cool breeze off the Sea of Galilee that silently touched my face.  Truly we were in the presence of God, and He was pleased we were there. The Chapel of the Beatitudes is shaped like an octagon; its eight sides reflect the eight written beatitudes. The garden area is so pristine it seems that angels have a hand in its  upkeep. We were up early and took advantage of the quiet time for prayer before all the other tourists arrived. I distinctly remember that from every view of the chapel the placid reflection of the Sea of Galilee welcomed us. I long to go back.

My Prayer

Lord, teach me Your way.  Help me to personify the beatitudes. I want to have a pure heart and be merciful. Teach me to be meeker. Help me to mourn when I sin against You, and when I am persecuted for righteousness sake, help me to turn the other cheek. Amen.

The first time I noticed that I was different from other kids was in early grammar school. Our reading sessions were always the same; we would sit in a circle and the teacher would pick a student to read. She would always start with the student sitting on the side next to the door. I could not read and suffered greatly when she called on me. So one day I devised a plan: I would memorize the page and make sure that I sat next to her in order for her to call on me. When it came time for the reading session, I ran and took the seat next to the teacher. So far the plan was working,  but then she called on another student. I was too young to have a plan B, so again, I was doomed. Another traumatic incident happened around that same time. The school district was testing for aptitude. These were simple questions like distinguishing the right foot from the left foot by circling the correct answer. I remember sneakily looking at my feet to try to figure this pondering question, but to me my feet looked exactly the same. In fourth grade the humiliation of oral reading came to an end. Without scheming, a perfect plan came into action. Every time I was called on to read, I would read one word, pause and make an annoying clicking sound and read the next word. Well it didn’t take long for the bullying to start; as soon as my name was called, many of the students would make the annoying clicking sound before I’d start reading, so the teacher would skip over me. This was encouraging bullying!  Throughout my school years I suffered with dyslexia and Attention Deficit Disorder.

Learning to Cope

In junior high, I suddenly started excelling in history and language arts, making good marks. But math continued to be the biggest obstacle. Back in those days tutors were unheard of; besides our family could not afford to pay for that luxury. In college I had to take elementary algebra, but after the first test I dropped the course because the instructor gave me an “F minus”! Really, isn’t an “F” enough to get the message across?

I taught myself to memorize things through visual aids. The mind of a dyslexic person works differently; I have a keen ability to remember things because of the gift of photographic memory. The downfall of dyslexia is that I still count on my fingers and transpose numbers and letters. This blog has to go through an editor before publishing. When ordering online, it takes me twice as long because the instructions are challenging. In other words basic, normal tasks are nonexistent for a dyslexic person.

Attention Deficit Disorder

The reason people suffer from ADD is due to their inability to concentrate on the subject matter. Many times I’ve come across as being rude when in actuality my mind is working so fast that I blurt out what I was thinking or seeing. People with ADD have the tendency to listen and move to another subject before the person has finished speaking. I don’t know what the experts say about this, but this is how I perceive the situation. This is also why I’m quick-witted; I always have a comeback.

In Good Company

Thomas Edison was kicked out of school at the age of twelve  because the teachers thought he was dumb, he had trouble pronouncing words and was terrible at math. We all know that he overcame his dyslexia disability because of his thousands of inventions during his lifetime. Walt Disney quit high school because of his dyslexia but continued with his gift of art, creating the legendary Mickey Mouse. Leonardo da Vinci was known to have dyslexia because letters were transposed in his writings. Presidents Woodrow Wilson and John F. Kennedy both suffered from dyslexia, but it did not prevent them from becoming president of the United States.

Finding Your Niche

Originally the focus on my education was Spanish, but that took a 360˚ turn when I became a “born-again-Christian” (I am back to my Catholic roots). With or without a learning disability, I devoured the Bible; I could not get enough; because I wanted more and more knowledge of the Word of God. I also wanted to get my bachelor’s degree. With the support of my husband, I attended Rancho Santiago College during the day, and two nights a week I drove to Biola University in La Mirada, California. While at Biola my grades were mostly A’s and B’s; I earned these high marks because of my desire to grow in the knowledge of God.

Overcoming

I overcame all the years of frustration caused by my learning disabilities because God gave me the gift of leadership. To be a good leader you must have confidence. I had to believe in myself to lead. The Enemy was always in the wings, constantly reminding me of my learning disabilities. But God knew my heart and has always watched over me and guided my path to help me understand that I am as He made me. Having dyslexia makes me research deeper into subject matters; I must read and reread before I fully grasp the meaning. I have hundreds of  books but can count on one hand the books that I have fully read. I thank God for Mapquest and all the other aids that help me get from point A to point B. Forget about putting things on the calendar because I will still get the dates mixed up. This is also the reason I call myself the “Reluctant Chef” because recipes have never made sense. Most of all I have learned to accept these limitations and have adjusted well without regrets because I understand that God has a plan for my life. His plan was to make me depend on Him for all of my needs because when I am weak He is strong.