Last Monday Mike and I celebrated our 49th wedding anniversary. How we have come this far is no surprise; it was through the grace of God. I married a perfectionist, a “Type A” personality, but I’m quite the opposite. I fly under the radar of unplanned big events.

I got pregnant because I hated taking birth control pills. I started taking the pill every other day and, when I was running low, I cut it in half. These measures of birth control proved to be unsuccessful; therefore our son Mikos was born. After that I stopped taking birth control pills.

I knew from the beginning what a great guy Mike was. I will always remember our first Christmas.  He showered me with so many meaningful gifts, even though we were just dating. But his benevolent heart sealed our union. My husband has a servant’s heart, and this is one of the greatest gifts you can have. His life’s work has been to keep harmony in our family.

Early on I was a handful; my liberal ideologies and my desire to be equal to my husband in marriage were posing a big problem. I was convinced that I could do better in life if I had a career. I threatened to go back to college so that I could get on with my real calling. In the meantime God was tugging at my heart to discover my real purpose in life. At no time did Mike ever try to discourage my crazy, emotional stages in life. I went back to college and received a Bachelors of Science from Biola University. The acronym for Biola is Bible Institute of Los Angeles; you can’t get more Christian than that! Again the Lord’s hand was working, guiding me to the right path.

My Demons

We all have them. These minions that attack our minds to cause havoc were raging in me. After our first born I discovered that I suffered from premenstrual syndrome (PMS). This meant that my entire family were affected by these erratic acts. The imbalance of my hormones made me behave irrationally with outbursts of anger that later made me suffer with great guilt. I needed help, but back in those days help was not available. While listening to a Christian radio broadcast I heard an advertisement about a natural, homeopathic method to control the PMS outbursts. My life was all overboard with two weeks of crazy and two weeks of remorse. Poor Mike got the worst of it, so when I told him about the clinic for PMS, he welcomed the idea.

PMS

It took 45 minutes to drive to Arcadia, but at this point in my distress, I would have taken a plane to Timbuktu to get help. I was given natural progesterone made with yams as the main ingredient. To my doctor this method of treatment was considered unorthodox, but I had no other alternative. I do remember that the medicine had to be refrigerated. This was over 35 years ago, and Holly Anderson’s PMS clinic is still in operation. I can testify that it helped me regain my senses and helped me to save our marriage.

Me Too

Once I got the PMS under control, I needed to take care of this women’s lib thing. While searching for God in a Protestant church, I started attending a class on “How To Become A Fascinating Woman.” Taking this class out of curiosity was the genesis of a long lesson in humility. All along I had been misguided by the women’s movement in the seventies. Taking the role of the man in our home did not work out so well. Reading the Bible and getting directions from God was not only eye opening, it was a revelation. I understood my role as a queen in our household when I got off the king’s throne. It took some time, but slowly I realized that appreciating the simple gestures of kindness reaped mountains of rewards. When Mike washed my car, I would make a concerted effort to sincerely thank him. Then he started to not only wash my car but to gas it up as well. These little acts of kindness were becoming second nature to me. Mike is the head of our household not only because he is the financial provider but because it is in the right order of God.

Be Kind

“Be kind” is an overrated phrase of the world that people use for their own narcissistic purposes. Being kind is much more than words that are spoken;  it’s performing acts with loving gestures. In our marriage, being kind has taken me to the prayer closet; there I place my heart in check before I open my mouth. It takes patience to practice kindness in a relationship, and for me it has taken years.

Pick Your Battles

We have had our share of fights, but it is usually the woman who is the first to admit being wrong. Men are not as emotionally astute as women. When a man is wounded, he tends to go inward with his emotions. We women are more vocal, expressing our animosity with greater displays of drama. Did you know that women speak 20,000 words per day, while men speak only 7,000! This is how God made us; this distinct difference makes us better equipped in the argument arena.

Never compare your husband to another man, and never nag. There is nothing worse in a marriage than a woman verbally abusing her husband, it induces pinned up anger and causes strife in any relationship.

Staying in Love

There are so many marriages that I believe could have been saved. A woman’s role is to always be supportive of her husband, to encourage him, forgive him, and to become his light. I can only speak for myself, but when I immersed myself in serving the Lord, Mike noticed a change in me. I attended church by myself for years, realizing that God calls us individually; but it bothered me that he did not have the same interest. I prayed for years for us to worship God as a couple. I pressed through, keeping the promises of God in my heart, knowing that Mike would one day accompany me. When I returned to the Catholic Church he started to attend services sporadically. Now we attend Mass together every Sunday. So, to you women who are dismayed because of your husband’s walk, keep praying; through your prayers God will bring them in.

Forgiving Spirit

I do not know who Mike voted for this past presidential election. I’m a conservative, but Mike’s not sharing my same political interest was posing a huge problem. We had many heated arguments over this until the Lord revealed to me that Mike has his reasons for his beliefs and I needed to respect them. I still suspect that he may have liberal tendencies, and I’ve learned to tone down my views to a bare minimum in order to keep peace. Nothing is worth causing this type of division because our love for each other always supersedes anything that the Enemy will toss our way.

Best Friends

We passed COVID-19 quarantine because we have definitely learned to live with all of our vices on display. Mike cooks and I clean. He protects me, and I constantly pray for him. We talk about everything: his job, my aches and pains, our kids. He offers solid advice and I always do what he suggests because he is over me. Please do not misunderstand this last statement, because I honor our marriage by allowing my husband this rightful role as the head of this household. He is my best friend; no one will ever take Mike’s place because our love is unconditional.

My Prayer:

Dear Lord, You know everything about our marriage. I pray that You will continue to bless our union. Lord, help me to be more patient with Mike, and give me special graces to get through the challenges of life. I lift up all married couples, especially those who are struggling to stay together. Lord, guide their decisions and lead them into Your loving arms. Pour out Your love on every married couple and bless them. Amen.

Last week I attended a funeral service. One of my friends, a priest who lives out of state, was able to give his father the Last Rites. During his homily I realized God does keep His promises. My friend’s  father had consecrated  his life to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. In order to do this, you must attend Mass every first Friday for nine months. With this sacrifice comes the promise that you will not die without a priest giving you the Last Rites. As complicated as it may seem, God came through for them. My friend was able to make it in time to see his father, but he had to go through challenging obstacles. He arrived at 1:30 p.m. and his friend drove him to his father’s home. My friend could not find the keys to his father’s car to drive to the hospital. He made several attempts to call the hospital social worker to make arrangements to see his father, but to no avail. Finally at 3:00 p.m. the social worker contacted him; by the time he arrived at the hospital it was 3:45 p.m. He covered his religious habit with a surgical gown and was ushered into the ICU. Since his father was suffering from COVID-19, no one is allowed to see the patients, so this was a favor of God.  Hours before his father passed, my friend got clearance from the hospital’s social worker to see his father and to give him his Last Rites. At 4:30 P.M. he prayed with his dad.  Through the providence of God the doors were opened, and the promise of God fulfilled. After leaving, my friend received a call from the hospital informing him that his father had passed at 5:59 p.m.

Follow a Godly Leader

We don’t know when we are going to die, so I believe it’s best to always be prepared spiritually. It’s disheartening to know that so many wayward souls will fall into the mindset of today’s society. With the lack of strong spiritual direction, many will follow the loud voices of vain leaders. In life we all follow a leader; the irony is that there are many charismatic, dangerous leaders who take their orders from the Evil One. Pastors who believe in God are to be held accountable for their preaching, but many will fail in their delivered sermons. The most important message for any Christian is to follow the laws of Christ. It’s  that simple. But because these well-meaning pastors do not want to make waves, they follow the world by not offending anyone’s personal beliefs. If you are truly serving God your beliefs should line up with the Word of God. There is no gray area here. You can’t sit on the fence with God; you are either for Him or against Him. The Lord hates wishy washy Christians! You cannot change the Word of God to fit into your socialist beliefs. That’s not how it works.

Everyone Welcome?

The spiteful changes of the new president in allowing 11 million immigrants a free pass to citizenship baffles me. We have bigger concerns. One close to my heart is the homeless population. Did you know that Blacks make up 50% of the homeless? Don’t these Black lives matter too? Why is this president so eager to help foreigners and not American citizens? This president has put a stop to building the wall. We will be flooded with more undocumented immigrants. Who is going to foot the bill for this? You’re not going to see doctors or professional people crossing the borders; these  people have nothing and expect to be taken care of  by our country! Does the president need to be reminded that we are still in the midst of a pandemic? If you want to become an American citizen we have laws that you must follow.

Our prisons are filled with undocumented immigrants. It costs money to keep these criminals in prison. Who do you think is paying for this? Well, it’s certainly not the countries that they are from; it’s US! According to an article written by Sharly Attkisson, out of 730,000 criminal aliens, 91 % of federal criminals were citizens of Mexico, Honduras, El Salvador, Dominican Republic, Colombia and Guatemala. It cost 2.5 billion dollars a year to house them in American prisons. This is the mess that Trump was trying to control, but he never got credit for anything.

Roe vs. Wade

What a slap in the face! On the anniversary of Roe vs.Wade the new president signed the Mexico City Policy back into law. This means that not only are we going to pay for all the abortions in the United States but around the world as well. To add insult to injury, a song “The Problem” was released on the same day. The money raised from the profits is going toward a reproductive justice organization in Alabama. In other words this funding is helping economically disadvantaged women to have abortions. This pro-abortion song was written by Amanda Shires. This stupefying song also features Cyndi Lauper and Sheryl Crow on bass, and Shires’ husband Jason Isbell on guitar, plus a slew of other lost souls.  This is how the world sees abortions:

Some of the Lyrics from the song  “The Problem”

And all I could think and say was, “Everything is going to be okay

It’s going to be alright, I’m on your side”

And no one has to know

The scars won’t even show

At least that’s what I’ve heard

No bigger than a baby bird (no bigger than a baby bird)

Do you think God still sees me?

coming out of this twilight sleep

I’m not sure who I am

Staring into my empty hands

Anyone having anything to do with this song is sadly paving their road to Hell, and the road gets wider if you buy into this lie. If you voted for this current administration, you knew with eyes wide open what was going to take place. We are all accountable for our actions but in this case, with these heinous lyrics, I have no words.

The Promise

The Word of God states that He gives us the desires of our heart (Psalms 37:4), and that He keeps His promises (Hebrews 10:23). I’m waiting for the promises of God to come to fruition. He will never let us down!

My Prayer

Dear Lord, You’ve gifted these artists with voices to sing. You blessed their hands to play melodies. Yet they are lost. Dear Lord, bring them to the doors of Your holy Temple; allow them to be in Your holy presence. There they will know without doubt why You gave them these gifts. I only want to praise Your Name. Amen.

On January 4, 2021, Anthony Estrada breathed his last. Surrounded by his son, Marcus, his sisters Vicki, Caroline, and Elsie; his brother, Jess, and Jess’ wife Dawnee; nieces Candace, Cerissa, and Melissa; Lorrie, his former wife, and the caregiver.  By the time Monsignor King arrived at the home of his sister Vicki, Anthony was restless. Monsignor King spoke in a loud voice to get Anthony’s attention. “Anthony, this is Monsignor King, I’m here to absolve you of your sins and lead you into heaven.”  Anthony turned to face toward the  Monsignor and heard the prayer of the last rite. Together as a family, they prayed. After the prayer, the family felt peace and Anthony’s spirit was calmed.

Our family considered Anthony as part of our own. Mike met Anthony while he was in the tortilla business. We needed to purchase a fryer, and Anthony’s family had one for sale. This first encounter was the beginning of a brotherhood that was never broken.

Back in the day before Mission Foods took over the tortilla industry, many small family-owned businesses happily co-existed. The competition was friendly, but the friendships made along the way endured all the mergers and takeovers of the giants in the industry. These tortilleros became a fraternity and have always remained friends. Mike and Anthony were part of this group.

The last time we saw Anthony was in December of 2019. Anthony was in town to pay his last respects to Alfred, one of the circle of friends they had from the tortilla industry. Our friend stayed as a guest in our home and took part in our annual Christmas party. I remembered and regretted  making him a judge of the Tamale Contest. Anthony was a talker, and if you were lucky you could get in a word or two. There are rules to the contest, which I personally go over with each judge: No talking was the main rule. As the contest proceeded, Anthony never once kept his opinions to himself. He was hilarious, and his remarks influenced the other judges. I held him accountable for my loss that year, but we would never have it any other way.

Anthony, Our Friend and Brother

The first time I met Anthony was also because of a business venture. He had invited us to Pueblo, Colorado. Mike did all the planning, so I was in the dark about our accommodations. Anthony picked us up from the airport and we headed to his house. He gave up his master bedroom for us,  we had dinner, and then he disappeared. It was not until the wee hours of the morning that we heard him come in. At that time, our kids were four and two years old.  In the morning I got up and got the kids ready for the day. Anthony was sprawled on the couch, sound asleep. I needed to feed my kids but there was not a drop of milk for the cereal. We did not have a car because Anthony insisted on chauffeuring us around.  I called Mike to the room. “We can’t stay here! We don’t even have a car! and the kids are hungry! You need to fix this, we need to get a hotel!” Mike calmed me down as best as he could and woke Anthony up.”I bet you guys are hungry, I’m going to take you to the best restaurant in town,” Anthony promised. I was relieved but when he pulled into a driveway of a home with a sprawling yard, I said. “Why are we stopping here?” He said,”Oh, you are going to eat the best food Pueblo has to offer.”  This was his mother’s home. From this day forward, this family has warmed our hearts. We endured four days with Anthony and got to know a man with a great heart.

The Gentleman

This was our friends attire: a crisp white shirt, a smart sports jacket, slacks, and fancy shoes. As soon as he got off the plane, he needed carnitas tacos with the works. He’d spend a good chunk of money by the time we left the local Mexican market. Chicharrones, tripas (cow guts), Mexican bread, and whatever else he could get ahold of. Then the feasting began. Anthony would talk throughout the meal. He loved elegant meals as well, and our many dinner ventures were filled with so much laughter because no one could outtalk his stories. Anthony was the guy who would greet you with a friendly shoulder rub; not one person was spared this. When he read something, he would bring the paper right up to the edge of his glasses, bending down his head to focus. Mike and our son Mikos were “cuz” and the girls were all referred to “honey.” He could never pronounce the word what; it was always “wha.” But in the end, it was always the lavish, descriptive stories that he shared that we will remember most.

Vacations

When we were younger, we took several vacations with the Estrada family. We skied Vail and Deer Valley. Mike and I would always splurge one night to eat at La Caille, a beautiful French restaurant  tucked in the Wasatch Mountains of Utah. I will never forget the dinner when we all had a little too much of the high altitude mixed with spirits; we were referring to the chic restaurant as “La Calle, which in Spanish means the street.” Our memories are all filled with love, and our families will forever be connected because of Anthony.

Saying Good-bye

In early November, Anthony was diagnosed with diabetes. He decided to take better care of himself and started eating healthier and walking. His feet started to swell, and he attributed that to the diabetes, but he also had a nagging stomachache. In the emergency room of the hospital after several tests were run, tumors were discovered. Anthony never made it to his appointment with the oncologist.

Our family, due to COVID-19, cannot attend his memorial service, but we wanted to be with this incredible family to support them in their great loss. Anthony, you leave us with an empty hole in our hearts. All who knew you share this grief, and you will be greatly missed. Rest in peace, my brother.

My Prayer: Dear Lord, I find it so difficult to believe that Anthony is no longer with us. Give us comfort in our grief knowing that Anthony and his son Arron are together. We pray for the repose of their souls. Most merciful God, we lift up Anthony’s family, bring them to a place of understanding knowing that You are there in their midst.