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Mike and I were married January 25, 1972. After 47 years of marriage, I believe I can offer some helpful advice. These are just four keys that I have used in our marriage:

God first, Husband Second

Mike and I are different in many ways; our diet, our politics, our workout regimens, but yet we manage to find balance in our marriage.

When I left the Catholic Church for a season, Mike had a difficult time accepting my newfound faith. Mike believed that the “Born-again” Protestant faith was too emotional, and that the services were too long. I was so busy growing by leaps and bounds in my newly found faith, and becoming a good Christian, that I lost sight of the fact that we had become unequally yoked.

When the Lord called me back into the Catholic church, Mike decided to made a serious commitment to attend Mass with me as a family. The Catholic Mass is structured, and so is Mike, he understands the status quo of the service and feels comfortable.

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Things were shifting in our lives when we returned to our cradle faith. I now make it a priority to attend Mass every Sunday. My prayers are a personal dialogue with God. I pray before the Blessed Sacrament regularly. We all need special graces to make a marriage work. Both Mike and I understand the importance of God in our lives.

God should always be first in your lives. Many marriages fall into disarray because the spouses fail to follow this order. For example, if a man puts his mother before his wife, this will just cause dissension between the wife and mother-in-law. The husband’s message to his wife is that his mother is more important.

If a wife puts their children before her husband, the husband will feel the void and look elsewhere to nurture his emotional needs.

Roles have changed and marriage is a two-way street. Mutual respect is what is needed to keep that open line of communication. Communication is the main factor in filling your needs in a marriage. Half of our workforce is made up of women, and this changes the household responsibilities. Men need to help more with running the household.

Prayer

Prayer is the bond that firmly holds a marriage together. I cannot go one day without asking God to help with my daily endeavors. Through all of our marital trials, God has always been in the midst. At times, when I do not feel His presence, so my prayers became more intense. The Lord will never leave us, or forsake us. Mike and I pray together, especially for our children and grandchildren.

Mike is a special man that does much for our relationship. He washes my car, fills it with gas, and regularly brings me fresh flowers. Many times Mike cooks for our family, and he helps me clean up our home. Why does Mike do all these wonderful things? Because I am submissive to him as the head of our household, I fuss over him! If you confuse your role in a marriage, as feminists would have you believe, you will have no peace. This is a saying that I have coined: “If you want to be treated like a queen, treat your husband like a king.”

I always thank Mike for all that he does for me. Sometimes I will call him just let him how much I appreciate him. We must always be appreciative of our husbands; we all need affirmation. Showing gratitude toward your husband instills in him his proper godly role. A good man will go above and beyond when he is shown true love.

Never nag; this is the worst display of berating a man, and a sure way of causing great division.

Do Mike and I have arguments? Yes, we are human, but it’s how we learned to resolve our differences that has changed. We try to not let the sun go down on our anger. After an argument with Mike, I ask him something as simple as, “Are you ready to have dinner?” We do not rehash the argument. We move past it by allowing the Holy Spirit to heal the present situation. I occasionally will slam a door, because it does release tension. As wives, we need to know how to handle a difficult situation; picking your battles carefully is the most important advice I can give you, I learned from my friend Helen.

Ephesians 4:26-27 New King James Version (NKJV)

²⁶ “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, ²⁷ nor give ^[a]place to the devil. 

Leave the little things to prayer, and address the big things in a calm manner. A lot of times when things escalate, read the body language, or the tone of voice. Learn how to walk away without causing pain or saying unkind words that you will regret; this works both ways.

Patience

I know that there are a lot of things in my life that need improvement, and we need to take into consideration that our husbands do not come perfect from the marriage factory. My biggest dilemma is patience. I struggle from lack of patience, and in turn I make Mike suffer. Patience is a virtue, and it has taken a lifetime for me to understand, so pray for me. I still toil with the misfortune of being easily irritated by things that are out of my control. I’m a complainer, because I have yet to mastered patience.

Marriage is a daily task that needs special attention. Start your day with prayer. If your husband does not pray with you, read him Scripture, starting with Proverbs.

James 1:4 New King James Version (NKJV)

⁴ But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be ^[a]perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

Godly Friends

Sometimes you need to talk to a good friend or trusted family member to help you sort through spousal disagreements. Always go to people who serve God and want the best for you and your husband. Many times just by talking to my sister Norma, or my dear friend Cindy, I feel a cloud is lifted. Spirit filled-friends always offer solid advice, and can quench a fire before it get out of control. My daughter Sonja recently shared with me that I was not being gracious about a concern that I was going through with Mike. She was right, and I took her counsel to heart. If this does not work, go to counseling, which has worked for us. When we are sick we seek the expertise of a doctor, and when our head is not right we need to seek the assistance of a therapist, a Christian therapist. Talk to your priest, or your pastor, go to confession, get rid of the anger.

2 Corinthians 6:14 New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁴ Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what ^[a]fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what ^[b]communion has light with darkness? 

If God hates divorce, guess who loves it? Always be aware that Satan wants you to fail in your marriage and will do anything to cause division. Recognize the signs of the Devil, and fight for your marriage. Become the fascinating woman God created you to be. Be the wife that when your husband walks into a room filled with people, he will scan the crowd until your eyes lock and you both know all is well with the world.

Do you remember the terminology, “Silent Majority?” Richard Nixon used this term in a political speech 1969. The silent majority were discribed as people who did not publicly share their political view. They kept silent even though they had a voice. We have now formed a new group of standing your ground, and not allowing the others to voice their opinion. Today people are entrenched in their own ideologies, they do not want to hear, or consider what you have to say, unless you are in agreement with them.

I have a voice, but I also listen to that still small voice when the Lord is speaking. When it comes to the “Wall” you know the big white elephant sitting on the lawn of Capital Hill? Do we need the wall? Do we need border security?

My material grandparents were from the states of Zacatecas, and Aguas Caliente in Mexico. They crossed the border into California in the 1920’s, My oldest cousin Delia said she still has her father’s greencard. My entire life I suspected that my grandparents crossed illegally. After checking and confirming my cousin Delia’s information with our Tia Maria, the matriarch of the family, my tia said that both of our grandparents came into this country legally. Their purpose was to make a better life for their family. The unique thing about my grandparents is that they both became American citizens. They never took a penny from the government. They paid their taxes because they obeyed the laws of their new land. My grandfather was self-employed, the owner of a barber shop.

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I recently had dinner with a Protestant clergyman. This kind man decided to join the caravan that was crossing the border in December. He said that there were very few people in the group that were coming for the same reasons my grandparents came. This gentleman also mentioned that for the most part, what he witnessed was angry young men that belonged to gangs. My friend is a humanitarian, and has always stood for the immigrants. He worked in one the largest school districts for years and knows the ins and outs of this great concern. I know what he is saying is the truth because I have known him for many years. He is a holy man of God who has no reason to lie.

The Word of God says that the truth will set you free. How are we to distinguish the truth from deception? I always ask God to reveal truth in matters like this. We are a country that was established as “One Nation Under God.” That still holds great value for me; when I see wrong, I want to correct it.

I researched the distance from Honduras to the US border and it is about 3,600 miles. With the influx of people crossing over to the US, where do they get their financial support to make such a long trek? They have to eat, drink water, but where does the aid come from? If the last group swelled up to as many as 6,000, did they all get across? If the detentions centers are empty on the Mexico side, where are these people? I believe that this money is supplied by a billionaire, who I will not mention, because not only do I take the 5th, I am not ready for that type of dirty retaliation.

Stephen Dinan, of The Washington Times on Wednesday, May 30, 2018 reported:

“HHS (Health and Human Services) paid more than 1.4 billion last year to accommodate nearly 41,000 UAC (Unaccompanied Alien Child) in its shelters, which means taxpayers paid about $670 per day for each child.”

You can check all the facts for yourselves, the money train is running at full speed, and we are the ones footing the bill.

I have read and researched the terrible plight of immigrants coming into our country. The gangs they are running away from are now infiltrating our country, and we should all be in an uproar about this. You can check these statistics for yourself through the government website of Homeland Security; these are real facts. And while you’re checking, make sure you educate yourself on how many of these gang members are in our prison system.

I pray that there is a way we could aid this desperate situation, but we cannot take on this burden.

We have turned into one nation under a dusty cloud. One thing I’m certain of is that the truth will always be revealed.

I pray a lot. I believe that our Lord is always in control, but we must do our part as well. We cannot continue to operate in hate without facts. Please seek the truth because without it our country will unravel. We cannot take on the problems of the world, but we can make a big difference by praying. I pray that this bit of information will enlighten you to seek the truth because the main stream media is riddle with half-truths and lies to lead you astray.

A half-truth is to get you to believe the lie, this is one of the oldest tricks of
Satan. Remember, truth is never arbitrary or subjective, it’s just the truth.

God speaks to us in many ways, and it was through a dream that He instructed me to continue with a trip to the Holy Land.

I have traveled to the Holy Land for more than 17 years; honestly I do not keep track. The purpose of my travels is to minister as we carry the Cross down the Via Dolorosa on Good Friday. This is also part of my calling in my walk with God.

In 2013 our ministry invited Father Leonard Mary from EWTN, to accompany us as our chaplain. Before Father Leonard became a priest, he was part of our lay group. He had been to the Holy Land many times with our team, but this would be the first time as a priest. This trip included an extension to Turkey, and to Patmos, Greece.

I volunteered to organize a fundraiser to raise money for the trip. The primarily purpose was to be certain that we had the expenses for Father Leonard covered. Father mentioned that Brother Leo, from the same community of the Franciscan Missionaries of the Eternal Word, was also going to join us.

I formed a committee with my daughter Sonja, Deane, Leslie, and Lauren. These woman were all seasoned in fundraising. The first thing on the agenda was to give the event a name. Since it was a pilgrimage, we all reached the consensus that we should named the event “Bread, Wine and a Good Time.”

We made gift baskets, and auctioned off a dinner for eight, with Mike preparing a gourmet meal. Our son Mikos donated tickets to the Laker game, and we raffled off a Coach handbag with matching wallet. Our menu included appetizers, Sonja made pulled pork for sliders, and we had an assortment of fruit and cheese, which complemented the wine tasting.

At the end of the night the money was counted, and we had enough funds to cover Father Leonard’s trip, but there was little left for me. I went to bed grateful for all the support, but was I sad and worried that I was not going to make the trip because of the lack money. I remember speaking to God before I went to bed, saying, “Dear Lord, unless I hear from You, I will be pulling out of the trip tomorrow.”

The following morning I received a dream from the Lord. I got up to journal the details of the dream. If you receive dreams, you should always be prepared with a journal and pen. You may think you will remember the dream, but if you do not journal, more than likely you will forget important details or the entire dream.

The Dream

I was in my back yard, at a party, I could see tables with white linen cloths. The tables looked as if they went on for miles. Father Leonard was with me, and as we greeted people, they handed us money, cash, so much that I could no longer hold it in my hands. I started to place the money around my waist under a belt.

The dream switches: Now I’m walking and a lady from our ministry was in a taxi. She stops, and rolls down her window and tells me, “Get in!” But I answer (pointing to where I was going), “Oh no, I can walk.” I had almost reached the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in the Old City of Jerusalem. This was the end of the dream.

I knew that this was a confirmation from God that He would supply funds for the trip.

This is my interpretation:

Back yard – Safe, private place

Party – A happy gathering, to celebrate

Tables – Symbol of communion, priesthood, fellowship, divine food (Ps 23:5)

White – Symbol of purity, righteousness, holiness ( Ecc 9:8)

Taxi – A means of transportation

Walking – I know my way

Church of the Holy Sepulcher – is located in the Old City of Jerusalem

Father Leonard was with me; Father Leonard represents Father God, and that He is with me. The Lord was pleased with the fundraiser; the tables represent a banquet, a party. The white linens represent purity; the money from the people is what God had put on their hearts to give. The taxi is there if I needed to get there sooner. I already knew the way by walking, which means that in my (spiritual) walk, I always go to prayer for answers.

Through the generosity of my family and a few close friends, I did get all my money for the trip.

It was during this trip that I got into the habit of attending daily Mass. Istanbul’s population is mostly Muslim, Father Leonard held Mass in the basement of the hotels where we were staying. It was one of the most holy trips and most spiritually rewarding. We had a lot of fun too, as part of the trip included dinner on a boat cruise on the Bosporus in Istanbul. Unfortunately, I had lost my favorite raincoat, and had to improvise by cutting a big enough hole for my head into a thin small blanket. I then wore it as a poncho to the dinner cruise, as it was a bit chilly that night. We danced with other members of the team, while Father Leonard took pictures and kiddingly treated to blackmail us.

Father Leonard lives in Alabama, but made a special trip to thank all the volunteers, and held private Bible study for us. Then when we were done, Father Leonard heard confessions. He is a Holy Man of God, and I pray for him daily.

Currently Father Leonard is working toward another degree, pursuing a Masters of Communication Management from USC. Father also has a Masters of Divinity from Mount St. Mary’s.

When his schedule permits, Father Leonard says the Mass for EWTN, a global Catholic television network based in Irondale, Alabama. DirecTV carries this broadcast on channel 370. This is one of the only stations that I frequent because they operate in the true Word of God, no fake news. I also listen to EWTN via podcast on my phone.

Joel 2:28 New King James Version (NKJV)

God’s Spirit Poured Out

²⁸ “And it shall come to pass afterward
That I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh;
Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
Your old men shall dream dreams,
Your young men shall see visions.

If you have a dream that needs interpreting, email me, and I will be happy to help you with the meaning. ciriza7@aol.com