When our daughter was attending Pepperdine University she came to visit us in Santa Barbara, California. She had met this young man from Malibu, California, and was eager for us to meet her new boyfriend. Our beautiful daughter walked in with this strange young man, tatted from head to toe with piercings in his nose, eyebrows, tongue and ears. He wore a heavy chain attached to his wallet on the world’s widest bell bottoms. This jaw-dropping experience left me with visible scars. From this day forth, I felt that I had a mandate from God to find Sonja a husband. This short journey got me in a lot of trouble.
The Interview
While I was on a missionary trip to the Czech Republic, I remember chasing after a priest with a prayer request to find the right husband for Sonja. This was a common occurrence; wherever I traveled, I made it a point to include this prayer request.
I was so obsessed with this task even got Mike involved. He arranged for a blind date with one of his younger golfing buddies. This was the biggest disaster ever! But did I learn my lesson? Nope, I continued to work diligently by meddling in all of my poor daughter’s affairs.
Second Wedding
At another wedding, I did something so shameful that it pains me to write about it. I went so far as getting a young man’s phone number from Sonja’s cell phone bill and calling him. Since this guy was a physical therapist, I came up with a creative opening dialogue about my dog having a hip problem. From this conversation, I smoothly transitioned into asking him how things were progressing with him and Sonja. The nerve of this young man; he never called Sonja again! Sonja got wind of this and I still did not understand why she was so upset. I was just trying to help.
The Message From God
I continued my odd behavior until the Lord gave me this dream while I was in the Holy Land. In this dream Sonja was being fitted for her wedding dress, and she was standing on a riser in the bridal shop. I was lurking in the background so I could see how happy she was. The dress was beautiful, especially the bottom, which had intricate beadings and a lot of beautiful detailing.
When Sonja and the seamstress left the room, I came in with a needle and thread and started to hem the dress myself. I heard them coming so I quickly ran out. Sonja started to cry, “Who would do this terrible thing? The most beautiful part of my dress is missing!” I woke up crying and prayed for forgiveness for all the meddling and embarrassment that I had caused Sonja.
Minding My Own Business
After this dream I realized what I was doing was so wrong and that my prayers were misguided and controlling to the point of witchcraft. By witchcraft I mean that I was not allowing God to do what was best for Sonja. My prayers were not efficacious and God set me straight in this dream. What I should have been doing was asking God to do His will in Sonja’s life, not begging for Him to find her a husband.
The young man from Malibu turned out to be a sweet gentleman, but remember this was almost 25 years ago when piercings and tattoos were still frowned upon. I promise I will have nothing negative to say about people who choose to express themselves with tattoos but back then it was taboo.
Russ To The Rescue
Soon all was forgiven, and Sonja introduced us to Russ at our annual Tamale Party. Russ’ first appearance did not go over well with me because I was still that judgmental mother wanting the best for our daughter. I still had some controlling stuff I needed to get rid of. Russ had this huge hair thing going on, and it was way too long. After a few dates, Sonja invited Russ over for breakfast. I remember sarcastically asking him, “So do you even go to church?” Russ replied,”I’m Catholic.” It was as if harps and heavenly trumpets went off in my head! I could have sworn I heard a choir of angels singing alleluia! After hearing this I knew he was the one that God had chosen for Sonja, and I had nothing to do with this union. Russ is a perfect fit for our family and we love him dearly.
My Prayer
Prayer for unmarried children: Heavenly Father, I know You have a perfect plan for our sons’ and daughters’ future. I am asking that You bring the right person into their lives who is going to care and love them for who they are. Lord, You are in control of their lives. All I’m asking is that they find the right helpmate and that this marriage be sanctified by You. Amen!
Mothers of the world, do not try to control who your children are going to date or marry. Remember, God has the perfect person for each one of them. Don’t mess with God’s plan.
