Marriage Guidance From The Honeymooners

More than just a piece of paper

Mike is the most organized man in the world. He filed away our wedding certificate before I could see it. When I pulled it out of the file, it was strange to see my maiden name as my full name. It’s finally official; the Sacrament of Marriage is now in the books for us!

My nephew Torie said he saw a vision of my mother as Mikos walked me down the aisle. This was my mother’s desire, to see me get married in the church. I received this vision as a blessing from my mom. I believed she was smiling down on us.

On Sunday after the wedding, we were busy entertaining out-of-town guests, so I missed Mass. As much as I tried to justify my reason for missing Mass, I felt unfulfilled. Going to breakfast and shopping is not an acceptable reason to miss Mass. With this in my heart, I felt culpability and needed to go to confession. I always understood that missing Mass on Sunday was a mortal sin. Many would disagree with this statement, but I felt that in some way I let the Lord down. I googled “is missing Mass on Sunday a sin?” and the best answer came from an article written by Father Kenneth Doyle:

“The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that teaching clearly in No. 2181: “The Sunday Eucharist is the foundation and confirmation of all Christian practice. For this reason, the faithful are obliged to participate in the Eucharist on days of obligation, unless excused for a serious reason (for example, illness, the care of infants). Those who deliberately fail in this obligation commit a grave sin.”

As several of us were in line for confession, I told the young man who was in line after me that I was only going to take a minute. The visiting priest was kind and understanding; he quickly absolved me of my indiscretions.

Fifty Years

During the lockdown we decided to remodel our living room. This would be the third time to reupholster our couch and chairs. For the money we ended up spending we could have purchased new furniture. In life you keep what is good quality and if you take care of it, it will last a lifetime. Our marriage has gone through different phases and when our relationship needed to be renewed, we’d picked out the fabric together. For our marriage to last 50 years, it had to be Christ-centered. I am a strong-willed woman, and Mike is a stern man who is always looking to the future. I live for the day. When God brought us together it was because we needed balance.

We Walk Together

It took years of prayer for me to understand that I was not in control of Mike’s spiritual journey. It was painful to attend church alone, and my impatience got the best of me. Through growing in Christ, I finally understood that our relationship with God is personal, and God works with us individually. My immature attitude as a babe in Christ hindered Mike’s walk. When I finally got the wake-up call from God, I learned to step aside and allow the Holy Spirit to gently move in. That was not an easy task because I like to be in control.

The Makeover

I love antiques and when I first noticed that our dining room table with matching hutch had some type of wood eating weevil, I ignored it. For years I ignored it. Again, during the lockdown I noticed that the furniture was infested with bugs. The dormant weevils had taken over, and the damage had spread to all the chairs. We needed to make another decision: to invest in having the furniture treated or to get rid of it. This, too, is like a marriage with a serious problem. If you ignore the important matters in a marriage, the problem becomes out-of-control. Just like our antiques, it spreads to other pieces of furniture. Again, it was a big expense to have the furniture fumigated, but it was worth saving.

Save Your Marriage

If God can forgive a murdering adulterer like David, He can forgive you. If your marriage is infested with sin, God can repair it. It took an extra powerful fumigation agent to kill the weevils in our furniture because the problem was deep within the wood. Sin that is deep within the soul can be removed.

The Honeymoon

The honeymoon was postponed because of a medical procedure. Due to my severe case of COVID I developed a type of bacteria in my gut. When the Devil unleashed this pandemic on us, he wanted to be certain that if we survived it was going to be a battle. This upper GI procedure will give me and the doctors better insight (literally) as to what is causing the problem. This all comes with being a senior bride; therefore, my medical concerns preempted our honeymoon plans.

Mike has made all the arrangements for our stay in Santa Barbara. We have a deep connection to this city; both of our children were born there, and we still own a home about a block-and-a-half from Leadbetter Beach. I cried for weeks when we sold our first home in Santa Barbara and moved to Whittier. For years Mike would beg me to move back, but we made our roots in Orange County. I would never leave my family, and we have a lot of stability here. My church and my friends are here plus we are only20 minutes from the beach. Maybe we will retire to Santa Barbara some day.

My Prayer

Dear Lord, help us to trust in You for all of our relationships, especially our marriages. Even through the dark valleys, show us Your light to find a way. Make us better examples to help those who are lost or feel abandoned in their marriages. Amen.


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