The adventure of mishaps continues with me and the prison visits.

Ill Prepared

I thought for sure that finally I got it right. Well, I did as far as my clothing regulations, but something went really wrong and I  knew I would pay for the mistake. The evening before the visit I had a conversation with Mario and mentioned that I did not have an appointment to visit him on Friday. Explaining that in the past several of my visits were without an appointment,  Mario and I both came to the same conclusion that it would be fine like all the other times.

Preparing

I went to Ralphs to exchange two twenty dollar bills for forty one-dollar bills for the visit. From the jar of coins that we keep at home, I counted an additional $18 in quarters. I was set.

On Fridays all visits  start at 11:00 a.m.,  but since I did not have an appointment I decided not to take any chances;  arriving at 10 a.m. felt safe. As I pulled into the facility, not a soul was there. Then I noticed two uniformed officers exiting their car with a box of donuts. I rolled down my window and asked, “Are there visits today?” One officer looked at me perplexed and said, “Yes.” Parking my car near the awning of the check-in area gave me a great advantage because the officer in tower #4 could not see that I was taking pictures from my vehicle.

The Rosary

At 10:30 I started to pray a rosary with intentions. To explain “praying with intentions” simply means that before every decade I say a special prayer. In this case it was so that Mario and I would have a fulfilled, blessed visit and that I would be able to minister to him.

The Shakedown

At around 11:00 a.m . other visitors had arrived. I was still in the car so a few people started to line up ahead of me. I let a young lady go before me because she had an infant in her arms. She also had an interesting tatoo around her earlobe.  As much as I tried to make out what in the world was written there, I could not read it or understand  why anyone would get tatted on an earlobe!

For the over 30 or more visitors with an 11:00 a.m. appointment the officers arrived at 12 noon to start checking us in. We are always at their mercy; they couldn’t care less if people drove for hours to see their loved ones. We all grumbled under our breaths at the disrespect the guards  displayed. Remember, I arrived at 10:00 a.m., so that was two hours for me.

Finally it  was my turn to get checked in. I explained that I was a walk-on visitor and waited for the clearance to allow me passage. In the past it was an additional 15 minutes of waiting, but not today. The officer looked at me and said, “All walk-on visits start at two.” I quickly reminded him that in the past it was not a problem. Then he said,”These are the regulations, and today I’m enforcing them.”

There were no grounds for an argument; besides I was going to lose. I was not about to make these other people wait longer, so I quietly stepped out of line. Heading back  into my car, I texted  Mario and told him that I would be back at two. Mario felt awful and suggested that I go home.

The Mass Reading

I knew that I had to keep the visit because after praying before attending Mass that morning, I needed confirmation from the Lord  as to whether I  should go to see Mario without an appointment. At Mass on October 25th, in two of the readings (Eph.  4:1 and Luke 12:58) the word prison was mentioned twice! As challenging as the day was, it was clear that the visit must take place.

Cowboy Lunch

Norco is a country town with cowboys and many horse trails. I drove around and found Norco’s Best Burgers. As I ate my lunch, I thought about how angry I was at the two guards. I concluded that I would write a letter to our governor. Then I remembered who our governor is and quickly dismissed that thought. I was upset but did not want to take this emotion with me to the visit. Maybe the guards were delayed because they had a meeting about making sure that the regulations were being adhered to. My mind was crazy with thoughts.

The Epiphany

As I took a  drink of my iced tea, a clear thought came to mind: Find a Catholic Church.  St. Mel’s Catholic Church was about six miles away from Norco’s Best Burgers. I had never heard of this saint, so of course I googled him. He was a 5th century saint and nephew of St. Patrick.

When I arrived at St. Mel’s I saw a woman exiting the church and asked, “Is the church open?” She quickly answered, “Yes!” “And by chance is there Adoration?” “Every Friday we have Adoration,” she replied. My heart was filled with excitement as I rushed into the Adoration chapel.

Spending this special time with the Lord at Adoration cleared my head of all anger. A great conviction came over me for blaming the officers when in reality I needed to own up to my irresponsibility for not making an appointment.

The Visit

I left the Adoration chapel at 1:30 and headed back to the prison. The same guard looked at me and said, “I think I can let you in 15 minutes earlier.” I shrugged my shoulders and sat down. The anger had lifted, but I was not about to give them credence for any favors the guard thought he was giving me. Besides it was 2:15 by the time I made contact with Mario.

Mario

I had already purchased a hoagie sandwich with chips and a drink by the time we sat at table 51.  As usual, one of the inmates in an orange vest assisted me in carrying the food while another got the Catholic Bible we use. Mario was happy to see me.

Mario mentioned that three times earlier in the week he had read Haggai. Haggai is a minor prophet with a major message to the Israelites. The Book of Haggai is about rebuilding the Temple of God. In many ways this book was speaking to Mario about rebuilding his temple, to finally gather all the right material to sustain any spiritual storms, to break free from all that would hold him back and finally attain what God has set aside for him.

The Medical Emergency 

While we were deep in conversation about Haggai, an ambulance arrived. With all the commotion I wanted to investigate the matter. I had just mentioned to Mario that I had to use the facilities.

Mario warned me, “You can’t go now, they won’t let you in the building!” Our visit was outdoors. “Well, you know what, when I have to go, I have to go!” I, too, was experiencing an emergency. I asked a guard for permission to use the restroom, and  he reluctantly agreed. But as I was approaching the steps, a female officer yelled out, “Ma’am, we are having a medical emergency, you need to sit down!” I pointed to the guard who gave me permission and said, “I need to use the restroom and he said it was fine!”

Much to my delight, I was able to witness the emergency. Apparently one of the inmates fell ill. As he was transported onto the gurney, his mother shed a few tears.

My Prayer

Dear Lord, please help me to organize my life. Lord, continue to work in Mario’s life to prepare him for a normal life outside of prison. Lord, may we never forget all those who are incarcerated.  I pray for all prisoners that they would seek Your guidance. Amen.

Have you ever had a desire in your heart that you never believed you could attain? My friend Vicky did.

Vicky

Vicky and I met at daily Mass. One day  after Mass, she approached me and asked if I could pray for a family member; since then we have supported each other in prayer. Trusting Vicky for my personal prayer needs has been a blessing. I had no idea that Vicky was 77 years old; she looks much younger than her age. She and her husband Rick have been married for 56 years. Together they raised  seven children and have 13 grandchildren. Needless to say, she has had a busy and fulfilling life.

Vicky’s father was a high school coach who made sure that his children were fit by making them exercise. Do you remember the term calisthenics? I do, because we seniors used this word to describe working out. Vicky was a runner who ran for years, but due to  back  surgery she switched to racketball to stay fit. Vicky’s daily routine is getting up  at 4:30 a.m. She works out six days a week:  90 minutes of cardio and on other days 40 minutes of weight training. Aside from this routine she walks four miles daily. Perhaps Vicky did not realize that this entire time God was training her to walk the Camino de Santiago.

Stella

Stella and Vicky are lifelong friends. After Stella moved to Northern California they remained friends. In June Vicky received a call from Stella, who was planning to visit her in Orange. Vicky and Stella had dinner together; this is how the “camino” talk started. Stella is 71-years old and has run a marathon in every continent, including Antarctica. Stella, an attorney who recently retired from working for the District Attorney,  was ready for a new adventure. This stirred up great excitement in Vicky. Her husband Rick was quick to encourage the pilgrimage, “Vicky, you have to do this!” Vicky had seven weeks to prepare for the journey.

The Preparation

Vicky stepped up her walking to five miles a day, and  she added a 10-pound backpack to her walks. She had to get the proper gear for the  camino. At REI (a sporting and camping store)  she purchased trail runners (sneakers), hiking sandals and special socks. She took with her a pair of 25-year-old hiking pants and two- year-old sneakers as well. Rick, her husband, purchased a head lamp from Amazon. One small carry-on and the backpack were all she and Stella traveled with their carry-on to the next village. From the beginning of the trip, Vicky requested that she wanted to stay in a hotel. So they used the services of Transporte de mochilas en el Camino de Santiago to transport their carry-on to the next hotel. This service, for a small fee of six Euros, really helped them.

Day One

At the airport no one spoke English, but they needed  to take a taxi to the train station. Finally they met their first angel, a police woman who spoke perfect English who guided them to the train station. They spent their first night at their starting point, the city of Leon, Spain. They attended Mass in Leon and prayed for a good camino. The following day they purchased walking poles and started the camino. Every pilgrim needs poles to help with the walk because sometimes you come across mountainous passages or paths that only one person can traverse one at a time.

They filled their backpacks with protein bars, apples, a first aid kit, pen and notepad, and water, which was the heaviest item to carry. They also had the special book given to them at the beginning of the camino to stamp their passage.

On the camino they met people from all over the world. They met a woman from the Netherlands walking with her Dalmatian. They met a couple from Florida who where half way done with their journey. People from Japan, Australia, Norway, Africa, New Zealand and Canada, all were on their own spiritual journey. All the pilgrims  they met were friendly and cordial.

Time to Reflect

By the third day of the journey Vicky was overwhelmed with gratitude. She wanted a closer relationship with God. She reflected on her life, remembering the special graces and giftings God had given her. With emotional thanksgiving  she praised God for her solid, happy marriage, large family and her faith. At each local church Vicky and Stella lit candles and prayed for family and friends.

After attending a Mass in Triacostela, the local priest asked all the pilgrims to come up for prayer. He handed each one a prayer written in his own language, and asked them to read it aloud. The prayer was a special blessing for their safe camino.

Time to Purge

Remember the 25-year-old hiking pants and the two-year-old sneakers? Vicky decided to get rid of them. She was purging spiritually as well; her soul was being cleansed from things from her past that were holding her down. She felt a great spirit of humility as God was cleansing her every step of the way. Vicky and Stella were up at 6:30 a.m. They needed their head lamps to walk; every morning as they witnessed the gift of the sunrise that led them closer to Santiago.

The purging did not stop on the camino. When Vicky got home she cleaned out her closet and shoes, getting rid of half her wardrobe. The journey changed her.

Santiago de Compostela

Just before 10 a.m. they arrived at the cathedral. Vicky could not hold back her tears; the journey, the desire of her heart, was complete. Vicky and Stella attended the 12 p.m. Mass. I, too,  have attended Mass at Santiago de Compostela.  I remember  the sounds of the bells, the organ piercing  my heart,  the gigantic incense burner swinging across the altar and filling the cathedral with an aromatic,  sweet-smelling cloud, a sacred heavenly scent, that touched all my senses.

El Camino

El Camino de Santiago or “the Way of Saint James” is a pilgrimage to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in northwestern Spain. For most of the pilgrims it is a religious experience. Depending on the route you choose, it could take over 35 days. Vicky and Stella walked 250 miles, averaging a  pace of 15  or more miles per day. They completed  their journey in 15 days.

Saint James

Saint James really understood how to reach the double-minded and those who struggled with trusting God, but my favorite passage is on taming the tongue (James 3:1-11).

My Prayer

Dear Lord, we are all on a camino in life. I pray that it always leads to You. May we hunger and thirst for Your Word. And in our twilight years guide and strengthen us to accomplish all the plans You have for us. Amen.

My advice to seniors: you can reap the benefits of aging by keeping active and serving God.

Babysit Your Grandchildren

According to data over a 20-year period by the Berlin Aging Study, researchers discovered that grandparents who babysat had a 37% lower mortality rate than those of the same age who did not. They lived an average of five years longer than those who did not babysit. Since 2003 I have had the privilege of babysitting our grandchildren. The dread of hearing,  “Do you want to play Candyland?” or “Can you color with me?” These questions were part of our daily activity. Watching television shows like Dora the Explorer and Jessie was my life. Playing the part of Jaws, I  swam in the pool with my grandkids and when I caught them, I’d gently bite them. We raced laps in the pool until they blew me out of the water. They were getting stronger, while I was getting weaker.

The Fall

One day, came when I was chasing after my grandkids on skate boards, I took a terrible fall. After that fall I realized that chasing anything was out of  my league.  I was pretty shaken up from the incident and thought a neurological problem caused the fall. I made an appointment with a neurologist who wanted to put me on some medication that might alter my emotional state of mind. No thank you! My mind is already highly stimulated by my real thoughts; putting something like that into my body would only add to the overload. After switching neurologists I was diagnosed with tremors, so I am now taking a mild medication to alleviate the problem.

Exercise

During COVID I got back into a workout routine; walking became my saving grace. I’ve always exercised but it was never a constant. So instead of 10,000 steps a day on the FitBit, I’ve increased it to 12,000. Being a lifelong member of the “exercise hating club,” I’d self-talk my way into working out. It took a while for this to become a habit. Mike, for as long as I’ve known him has always worked out regularly, he rarely misses a day.

If I can stay healthy it lessens the burden on others to care for me. I want to be independent as long as God allows.

Stay Focused On God

When doing godly deeds, He makes time for all of our personal needs. Nothing is put off because you are given special, supernatural graces and energy to finish all your daily tasks. The only difference is that at the end of the day, because of my age, I tire more easily.

I want nothing more than to please God, but every single day I fall short. God knows my shortcomings and the struggles I have in life; this is the main reason I attend daily Mass. It honestly gives me a clean slate. Prayer is a major part of my life but I, like many, get caught up with Social Media. It’s shameful to admit but this is one of my worst vices.

Pray For Others

Part of the calling that the Lord has given me is praying for others. My list is long but throughout the day, the faces of those I pray for flash before me. Or if I’m out and about and see someone who resembles  a person on my list, I say a quick prayer for that person. God is consistently reminding me to pray.

Don’t Let Old Age Restrict Your Decisions

When my mother was in her early eighties she needed a new refrigerator. She was hesitant to purchase the appliance because she felt that she would not get much use of it because she was too old. My siblings and I talked her into buying a new one. As she got older she was hesitant to purchase bananas because she thought they would ripen too soon.

We recently invested in a new dishwasher and the realization of the possibility that this could be the last time we purchase one was surreal. We are definitely preparing to make our life more comfortable as we get older. The thought of death at the door may be something others worry about, but we place our trust in the Lord.

Trust God

Trusting God for everything in my life may sound odd but it does wonders. The Lord has supplied every need in every area of our lives. Whenever I have doubts and slip into a state of unbelief, I resort to a simple “Hail Mary” prayer to bring me back to reality. Many times, because of my impatience, God is teaching me to rely on and trust Him. Impatience has caused me heartache by making hasty decisions and regretting the choices I have made. Obviously patience is a virtue that I struggle with.

Article 7 The Virtues (from the Catechism of the Catholic Church)

THE VIRTUES

1803 “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”⁶² A virtue is an habitual and firm disposition to do the good. It allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself. the virtuous person tends toward the good with all his sensory and spiritual powers; he pursues the good and chooses it in concrete actions.

The goal of a virtuous life is to become like God.⁶³