By now, the neighbors know my daughter’s dog by the name Shut Up Paco. The little yapper barks at everything — not even a mixture of vinegar and water can repel the disturbance. If anything, he seems to enjoy the flavor. The shock collar was next, but he powered right through that too. My other granddog is equally memorable — she sheds relentlessly and suffers from a severe case of small dog syndrome. She huge but thinks she’s a lap dog.
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My grandchildren were each given an allowance of five dollars for the Dollar Store — silly string, candy, soda pop, and makeup for Maddie. At the counter, Jacob decided to put on a scene. First came the look — that never works. Then the verbal warning. Then the counting to three. And finally, two firm swats on the backside. It is not that I am old school, but it is the only thing that works on Jacob. Go ahead — call the police, videotape it, and shame the grandma. It is still going to happen. As we were leaving the store, my voice echoed all the way to the car: NO ONE GETS A THING FOR 30 MINUTES! AND IF YOU TALK BACK, ANOTHER 10 MINUTES WILL BE ADDED!
Soon all was forgiven, and they swam for a short while. It was only 6:30 by the time they were done, so Netflix came to the rescue. While I took the dogs outside for a potty break, Maddie came running out with the announcement that Lucas had puked all over his tablet and pajamas. After he got cleaned up, he asked for more candy. William’s behavior, meanwhile, was positively saintly — and he was not sick. Very suspicious.
Maddie polished my nails in two different colors — three coats plus a top coat. My nails took so long to dry that they stuck to everything. I kept getting notifications from Instagram, only to discover that Maddie had posted a selfie.
By ten o’clock I was more than ready for them to go to bed — oh no, not these kids. As if it were New Year’s Eve, they held out for the stroke of midnight. Jacob did eventually fall asleep and went limp like a motionless marionette — all forty pounds of him had to be carried upstairs. We said our prayers, and finally, I was praising God for much-needed rest.
Where was Mike during all of this? Mike always comes in for the cleanup — and like the fourth batter up, he hits a grand slam. Mike cooks, washes, vacuums, and yells — a lot. Together, our little family is safe in the arms of two screaming, temperamental grandparents. We adore them endlessly, but we mostly love where they came from.
“Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.” Proverbs 17:6
