Since I have learned to live with dyslexia my entire life, you’d think that my husband would offer me a little forbearance.
Right and Left
I had to pick up Mike from the service department for his car. Mike had to make several phone calls, so I drove home. The navigation was set to get us home. The Indian man’s voice said, “Make a left turn and then another left turn.” But for some unusual reason, I made a right turn. Mike quickly responded, “Didn’t you hear him say turn left?” “Of course I did,” I answered. Needless to say the small detour was another indication on how my brain operates.
Pilates
Dori, our Pilates instructor, has become accommodating to my special needs. She no longer uses “turn right or turn left;” instead she says ” turn to the wall or turn to the front door.” I find this most helpful and am grateful for her kindness.
I know my right from my left, but it’s the whole concept of how it switches when you’re directly facing objects. For instance, when someone says, “It’s in the left side of the right cabinet,” my brain goes amok.
Driving
Not one person in my family who has a driver’s license allows me to drive with them. If I am driving to a new location, I make several mistakes getting there. My younger grandsons know I mean business when I say, “Nobody talk, nobody talk!” It’s an indication that my brain is focused on arriving at the destination. For this reason I always allow myself an extra half hour for travel.
Even with a back-up camera, I still can’t back up the car in a parking spot.
Double Booking
I cannot recount the many times I have double-booked dates. We received and evite about a month ago for our friend Willie’s 60th birthday bash. I replied that we were attending but forgot that this same evening was our granddaughter Maddie’s sending away party! She left for college the following day.
Tik Tok
I know the Chinese are all up in our business with Tik Tok, but I use it for several reasons. I promote my Blog, and I get a lot of useful information. Recently I started following a lady who uses castor oil for many purposes. This caught my attention because it mentioned weight loss and a flatter stomach.
Castor Oil
I had been experiencing stomach issues for several years, so I purchased a generic castor oil brand from the local CVS drugstore. I swallowed two large spoonfuls and wanted to immediately regurgitate the foul taste. I promised myself that I would never, ever put that horrid stuff in my mouth again. The greasy oil was placed in the back shelf of the medicine cabinet and I forgot about it.
With the new revelation of weight loss, I quickly pulled it out and started to use the thick, greasy castor oil again. The lady from Tik Tok said to put some in your belly button and to rub it all over your stomach. The first night was a mess. Since I was standing the whole belly button thing was not functioning properly. After a few mishaps, I can say that I got this procedure down to a science.
The Eight-Pound Loss
After two weeks of using the castor oil I felt better. Every morning without fail, I jumped on the scale. We own an obnoxious scale that announces your weight out loud. Both Mike and I have figured out that if you jump off the stupid scale, you can see the weight without hearing it.
Last week I got on the scale. Something happened. As I watched the scale quickly change numbers, it registered an eight-pound loss! I ran to tell Mike, “Oh my gosh! I just lost eight pounds!” Mike just smiled and returned to the numbers he was crunching on the computer. Our guest bathrooms has a polite scale that always registers two pounds over the obnoxious one. I got on it and the number showed a six-pound loss. Again, I ran to share the great news with Mike, but he ignored my excitement.
Sharing The Good News
Because losing eight pounds overnight is a big accomplishment, I could not keep this information to myself. My best friend Helen was on her way to the airport, so I could not bother her with this wonderful news. Besides she’s a naysayer, and I wanted positive support for the weight loss. I called my two sisters with the news; both Norma and Jo wanted more information about this new-found miracle. I called Lorrie, an old family friend from Colorado; she, too, was surprised but during the entire conversation she kept laughing about the situation. Then I called Sarah, Helen’s daughter-in-law. She was so happy for me and said she believed that this type of thing is possible.
Sonja
When I called my daughter Sonja, I knew she was going to ask me a battery of questions. Her first response, “What do you mean, that’s impossible!” Then she asked me if my clothes were fitting looser. At that point I felt a little insulted, and I remembered as I was putting on my pants that I had to lie on the bed to zip them up! I blew that off as a fluke. Suddenly Sonja wanted specific information about the castor oil.
I went to Mass but after I returned I got on the scale again. It read 100 and something one. Indeed I had lost eight pounds overnight! Praising God for the miracle, I went about my day.
Bad Night
Like the rest of the world I brush my teeth and wash my face before bedtime. But now I was adding castor oil to the routine. I decided to get on the scale one last time; then I realized that I had transposed the last two numbers! I did not lose eight pounds but gained one pound! Mike was sound asleep when I shook him awake. “Mickey, what am I going to do? I told all these girls that I lost eight pounds, but in reality I gained one pound!” Mike was quick to reply, “I knew all along that it wasn’t true! You need to come clean!” “This is so embarrassing! Please tell me what to do!” I cried. “You need to call them or text them first thing in the morning. Aye, yai yai, why are you so crazy?” Mike grumbled.
How God Created Me
I am in good company with dyslexia; Albert Einstein, Pablo Picasso, Richard Branson and Cher all struggled with this disorder. In my case, there are so many gifts to dyslexia. I can listen to two conversations and know exactly what is being said. I have a gift of being quick-witted, with a reply forming in my head instantaneously. And I can tell a good story. I work for God and I am an excellent employee.
My Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for always helping me fix the messes in my life. And thank You for the gift of dyslexia because it makes me uniquely dependent on You and it keeps me humble. Amen.
